Former Packers Execs Meet up in Nashville
Last night an anonymous Acme Feed & Seed waitress provided Total Packers with a tape recording. We’ve identified the voices as:
John Dorsey, Browns GM; spent two decades in Packers’ scouting department. Has also been Seahawks’ Director of Player Personnel
Eliot Wolf – Browns’assistant GM; from 2004 -17 he held nearly every job in Pro Personnel department, rising to being director of football operations in 2016-17.
John Schneider, Seahawks GM, former Packers front office exec, and Director of Football Operations 2008-09
Mike McCarthy – former Packers’ head coach (2006-18)
Here’s a partial transcript:
McCarthy: Hey Eliot, can you believe this place: three floors of food and drinks, and from the rooftop, you can look right down to the NFL stage! Have you tried the Broken Spoke Meatloaf? I’m gonna go get me some.
Wolf: Good to see Coach back to his old self. We’re the four amigos – all screwed over by Mark Murphy.
Dorsey: Wait’ll Gutekunst finds out we’ve got a trick or two up our sleeves. Yup, vengeance is a dish best served cold.
McCarthy (returning to table): What’s that? You mean the sliced cucumber salad? Had it for breakfast.
Dorsey: No Mike, we’re talking about Green Bay’s draft. We knew Gute wanted Rashan Gary at # 30, so we spread the word Atlanta was taking him at 14. Gute bit, and used his # 12 pick on a guy with not even 10 sacks in three years. And a # 12 comes along about once a decade in Green Bay.
Schneider: It gets better – we spread the word that our team physician found that Gary’s bad shoulder has fully healed. Gute thinks it’s 110%, baby!
McCarthy: Hold that thought, here comes my order of “Heaven-Lee” ribs.
Schneider: That’s not all, Mike. Gute wanted Darnell Savage – you know, the safety in the funny Maryland uniform – at number 30. So we made sure he thought we were taking him at 21. Guess what, Gute got on the phone and traded up with me to get that pick. Otherwise, the guy doesn’t go until the second round. (Laughter)
McCarthy: Well at least they got a good player.
Schneider: Get this, though, Gute handed me both of the Pack’s fourth-round picks to swing the deal.
McCarthy: You’re kidding, right? Hey waitress, we’d like some Beer Belly Tacos all around.
Dorsey: No irony there, huh Mike? Anyhow, we got Gute so flustered, he forgot about needing a wide receiver. Could have had anyone at # 30, and still had great options at # 44. He goes with a center named Jenkins – when Corey Linsley is just coming into his prime.
Wolf: Like a center or a guard is more of a game changer than either of the Ole Miss receivers, D.K. Metcalf and A.J. Brown, are gonna be. They’re no shrimps – Metcalf weighs 230 and Brown goes 225. Gute is off the rails, I tell ya.
McCarthy: That reminds me, you’ve got to try the Shrimp and Grits, southern cuisine at its best.
Wolf: Hey John (Schneider), I’ll bet you and our mutual buddy, Pete Carroll, are going to rub Gute’s nose in it when the Seahawks come to town – could you believe you just got “the monster,” D.K. Metcalf, at number 64?
Schneider: Gute will live to regret that one. The party’s already over for Green Bay – and to think they spurned all four of us. After giving us their two picks in Round 4, the Pack has no dog in the hunt from # 75 all the way to # 150, then they finish up with two sixth rounders and a seventh.
Wolf: I heard most of the gang left town after # 75, leaving Russ Ball to sweep up the late-round crumbs. (Laughter)
McCarthy: Tell you what, you won’t find catfish and hush puppies like this in Green Bay. You guys got any other surprises in store for my old team?
Schneider: Wait and see. Gute loves to trade up, though he always gets burned. I schooled him last year too – remember how he moved up from 27th to 18th in Round 1, but I got their 27th, a third rounder, and a sixth rounder. Gute is obsessed with getting the best of me – won’t happen.
Dorsey: Speaking of obsession, Gute has gone for defensive players on both top picks. We all agree Gute won’t be selecting any more defensive players, right? He can’t possibly keep picking defenders – CAN HE?
McCarthy: Hey waitress, four Mule Kickers, please – it’s billed as a moonshine slushee, guys, you’ll love it. An appropriate toast fellas: Here’s to Gute getting his ass kicked in Nashville. (Cheers and guffaws)