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Schadenfreude Alert: Owner of the Most Hated NFL Team Busted in Prostitution Ring

Robert Kraft

Robert Kraft and his wife Ricki Noel Lander before Super Bowl LIII against the Los Angeles Rams at Mercedes-Benz Stadium. Matthew Emmons-USA TODAY Sports

Charged with soliciting prostitution, New England Patriots d-bag billionaire owner has been arrested in Florida in relation to a six month long prostitution sting by local law enforcement.


From the Associated Press:

New England Patriots owner Robert Kraft is being charged with misdemeanor solicitation of prostitution after police said Friday he was twice videotaped paying for and receiving sex at an illicit massage parlor.

Jupiter police told reporters Friday that the 77-year-old Kraft hasn’t been arrested. A warrant will be issued and his attorneys will be notified.

The charge comes amid a widespread crackdown on sex trafficking in the area surrounding Palm Beach County. About 200 arrest warrants have been issued in recent days and more are expected. Police said they secretly planted undercover cameras in targeted massage parlors and videotaped the interactions between men and the female employees.

Well, shit. The owner of the New England Patriots was getting a happy ending at a strip mall massage parlor in Florida until the the police raided. You can’t even make shit like that up. According to the Washington Post, the charges are misdemeanors and Kraft is not currently in police custody.

As much as it pained America to see Tom Brady and his band of merry misfits claim another Super Bowl title, I think this news will help us get through this off season. The team everyone (except maybe Rob) loves to hate is at it again claiming the headlines. At least now it involves a billionaire and a happy ending for Patriots haters instead of that robot QB winning another ring.

Jason Parker

I'm Just Here So I Won't Get Fined



  1. Cheese February 22, 2019

    “According to The Boston Globe, Kraft has been in a relationship described as “on-again, off-again” with Ricki Noel Lander. Kraft denied in a statement to the Globe in March of last year that he’s not the biological father of Lander’s baby.”

    Be sure to date a Patriots fan. She doesn’t care if you cheat, just as long as she gets a ring ;)

  2. PF4L February 22, 2019

    A 77 year old rich guy who’s wife passed away, likes to pay to get his rocks off from a young pretty little thing. What a twisted sick S O B amirite? That almost never happens. I say we send him away for 10 years minimum (but give him NFL Direct) and teach him a lesson. The world doesn’t play that game homie.

    Meanwhile….this story will get 100 times as much media attention than the Jessie Smollett story. But that is probably due to the fact that Smollett is nothing but a big nobody.

    1. Kato February 22, 2019

      Lay off Jussie. He just wanted more money, not his fault he can’t be overpaid by the packers organization. He should have talked to Russ Ball.

      1. PF4L February 22, 2019

        Everyone should lay off Justine, and they probably will, if he ever becomes a man.

        1. PF4L February 22, 2019

          But then again, how the hell do i know right?

          Jason? What kind of penalties do ya get for solicitation?

          You can speak freely, we’re like family here.

  3. Deepsky February 22, 2019

    Florida = Dolphins fans. Seems like a set up to me, which means a good lawyer will get Kraft’s charge reduced to something very, very minor or nothing at all.

    1. PF4L February 22, 2019

      Well…something tells me he won’t spend a lot of time in prison for soliciting. My guess is he pleads no contest as quickly as possible. I highly doubt he wants those video’s played in court.

      1. PF4L February 22, 2019

        But then again, how the hell do i know right?

        Jason? What kind of penalties do ya get for solicitation?

        You can speak freely, we’re like family here.

        1. Jason Parker February 22, 2019

          I don’t think the solicitation aspect is the issue. I’d wager 95% of the wealthy spend time with prostitutes at some point.

          The odd part here is the human trafficking connection mentioned in another comment but also the absurdity of someone like Kraft getting a hand job in a strip mall. With his resources, it seems extremely unlikely but here we. are.

          We’ll just have to see how the league approaches this.

          1. TyKo Steamboat February 22, 2019

            95% of “wealthy men” would rent a prostitute???

            So you believe 95% of “wealthy men” are nerds, weird-o’s or losers?

          2. PF4L February 23, 2019

            I tried…

  4. Howard February 22, 2019

    This gives new meaning to the 2018 Patriot/Kraft playoff slogan:

    To get everything,
    It’s going to take everything.
    So we’re going to give everything.

  5. Stiggy February 22, 2019

    Read some reports that this is some big human trafficking ring sting.

    So Kraft is now linked with human trafficking. Personal conduct policy in nfl applies to owners and executives as well.

    This could either be a big nothing or a big deal.

    1. Thomas E Lind February 22, 2019

      You’re right Stiggy. He, along with a couple hundred other guys were videotaped having sex with women who were forced into prostitution. I suppose it would make a difference of he was privy to the fact that the women he was having sex with, were forced into prostitution. My guess is that he will get out of this situation. As we all know, he’s incredibly wealthy. Big money can make a lot of things “go away”.

      1. PF4L February 22, 2019

        If the women are being forced, that means they are being raped. I’m not so sure the cops can video tape women getting raped repeatedly for months.

  6. TyKo Steamboat February 22, 2019

    Washington ComPost reported it so you know it’s unbiased & true…

  7. Mitch Anthony February 23, 2019

    The Jeff Bezos owned Washington Post. I wonder if he falls in the 95%? 95% seems a bit high
    by the way. Just remember, you’re not paying for the actual act, you’re paying for them to leave you alone after the act. Maybe that’s what appeals to those guys. It’s strictly business.

    Interesting that depending who gets to tell the story, the title of the “professional” changes. If you want to paint the person as honorable and courageous, they are simply a “sex worker”. They get invited on talk shows like Stormy Daniels might. If you want to paint them as victims, then they are victims of “human trafficking”. There apparently are distinctions and differences. I guess you gotta ask the person, “Did you choose to do this as a method of making money, or not?”

    A happy ending rub down for Mr. Kraft is just as comical as Al Gore getting his and shouting about – releasing his “chakra”.

    1. Cheese February 23, 2019

      Lol, you’re paying for them to leave you alone after the act. It’s funny because it’s true.

      Yes, arguments always turn into a game of semantics. Professional vs sex worker, willing vs victim, etc. I don’t know if these girls were forced into this role, but if not this should be viewed as nothing but a mutual transaction between two parties. There is a book called “Defending the Undefendable” that goes over situations that are looked down upon in society and prostitution is one of them. It’s no different than buying bread from the bread store. If two consenting adults agree on a transaction, why does there need to be a third party involved telling these people they’re not allowed to exchange services or that they need special permission to do so? Probably because the government knows it can’t tax vagina.

  8. PF4L February 23, 2019

    Look at the photo under the headline.

    Now ask yourself…is that a personal relationship, or a working relationship?

    Nuff said.

    1. Big B February 23, 2019

      I’m positive she loves him unconditionally.
      There’s something about two-tone dress shirts that women find irresistible.

  9. Ferris February 23, 2019

    He can’t afford a “legal” Asian Bride from the Philippines? Day spa hookers in FL? He deserves it. Now he will say he prayed about it and he’s human and everyone makes mistakes. What a tool. Toss him in the tank with the rest of the Johns.

    1. PF4L February 25, 2019

      At 77, he feels a need to be married?

  10. PF4L February 23, 2019

    “Robert Kraft and his wife Ricki Noel Lander before Super Bowl LIII against the Los Angeles Rams at Mercedes-Benz Stadium.” Matthew Emmons-USA TODAY Sports

    His wife?

    There must be really high standards to be hired as a National Newspaper writer these days.

  11. paul RAMM February 24, 2019