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Oh, So Mike McCarthy Is On The Hot Seat

If Mike McCarthy — Fat Mike — wasn’t on the hot seat before this, then Mark Murphy — Ginger Gap Tooth — is a bigger fucking idiot than we thought.

Like maybe the kinda guy who thought… hmmmm… maybe you couldn’t drive a damn Cadillac through this gap in my front teeth. Maybe I am handsome. Who doesn’t like a gap-toothed ginger?

All women, Alfred! All of them! What? You worry?

Well, you gotta worry now, dumbass. Because your stupid power structure means you now have to fire the Green Bay Packers shitty coach. General manager Brian Gutekunst may have been sabotaging him, but who cares? It’s been a long time coming. And it’s coming, as we predicted.

We’re not just saying it, Ian Rapoport is saying it.

“Mike McCarthy is certainly now on the hot seat for Green Bay,” Rapoport said. “He needs to close strong, it feels like, to keep his job in Green Bay. Obviously, one of the longest tenured coaches in the NFL and that is all in doubt.

“And there’s a couple reasons why. One of them does involve the disconnect with Aaron Rodgers — the tension there regarding the direction of the offense. Rodgers has been pretty vocal about his frustration with play-calling and the lack of creativity was there on Thursday night. That, of course, is something CEO Mark Murphy will have to make a big decision on at the end of the year.”

Big decision? Not really.

Finish strong? For what? To miss the goddam playoffs?

Okay.

To be one and done?

Okay?

Maybe let’s lose in another NFC Championship?

Put your fucking house on the market, Fat Mike. Oh, right. You don’t have to do that because you married that broad from KI. She’s worth more than you. Hopefully, she can pour gravy down your throat for the rest of your life.

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Mordecai Jones

Mordecai is a writer living in Los Angeles. He primarily writes screenplays, but also does crap like this because GREEN BAY PACKERS, baby!

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32 Comments

  1. Adam November 20, 2018

    So, I guess McCarthy’s wife was previously married to William Kress, and they have two children together.
    William Kress was at the time, and still is, on the team’s board of directors.

    I’m sure there has never been any conflict of interest there.

    1. Cheese November 20, 2018

      Hmm, interesting… Not to say that it has affected any board decisions or start reaching for some conspiracy theory, but if McCarthy lost his job in GB then he would more than likely go elsewhere if he wanted to continue coaching, taking his wife (Kress’s ex) and all of the children with them.

      Or maybe the roots in the good ol’ boys club are deeper than we anticipated…

      1. KILLER November 21, 2018

        I had not considered the wife and kids leaving ergo Gravylicker must keep his job.

        Conspiracy confirmed though if he is still HC of Packers in 2019.

        1. PF4L November 21, 2018

          First….Very cool that they released you, at least for Thanksgiving. It’s very comforting knowing that as a society, we can try to give, and care about our people, even the downtrodden.

          But listen….The Packers meet the queens Sunday night, and i have no clue who is going to win. So i thought with all the time you put in diagnosing, the hours you spend studying metrics and analytics, that maybe you could offer up your expert opinion of who is going to win. In other words……

          Who’s turn is it?

          1. KILLER November 22, 2018

            Well, the Vikings are, in the last few years, 4-2-1 vs. the Packers. So, clearly, it is the Vikings’ turn to win. Also, generally, good does defeat evil.

            We tied in Green Bay. However, that took a blocked punt TD by the Packers — unlikely this game, home-field advantage which is 3 points so another 6 point swing there, and 4 missed Carlson FGs, so another 12 points there. So, one would think a score of 43-19. But, it’s never so simple, is it?

            Some words on McCarthy:

            Scapegoaters gonna scape those goats. Gravylickers grande forte is scapegoating. Injuries… Capers… TT… Brandon Bostick… Barnett… QB coach… Sitton… 22 year faithful groundskeeper… and so many more I am not including here.

            But then… the scapegoater eventually inevitably gets scapegoated himself. Except, not really, because scapegoaters are not too good at their jobs… they are good a scapegoating instead. Can’t be good at everything! So really, it is more like they run out of scapegoats.

            As a Vikings fan I am really rooting for Gravylicker to somehow keep his job… but not if that involves defeating the Vikings!

          2. PF4L November 22, 2018

            I made it to 4-2-1. But then it dawned on me, you said you don’t live in the past…hmmm.

            Since you entered that arena, let me ask you this…who has more SB rings the last 52 years, McNugget, or the queens franchise?

            I know….it’s painful, i understand.

    2. Deepsky November 22, 2018

      I have pointed this out for some time. And it gets worse.

      McCarthy’s current wife Jessica got custody of William Kress’ kids in the divorce settlement. Even though the Kress family has an enormous fortune, Mike McCarthy and his wife actually raise Kress’ kids, for that I give him credit. So if McCarthy gets a job somewhere else, he might take the he kids out of state away from William Kress. This is why I always thought McCarthy would be around forever.

      1. PF4L November 22, 2018

        This is why employers frown on interpersonal relationships.

  2. Skinny November 20, 2018

    The only ones left standing on December 31 at 9 AM will be Murphy, Gutenkrust, Pettine, Fackrell and Rodgers. Welcome to the new era of Packers football.

    1. MJ November 20, 2018

      We can only hope…
      There’s still the chance, though, that McCarthy finds some unkown assistant coach to take the fall and be the 2018 scapegoat.

      1. KILLER November 21, 2018

        Hahaha! So true!

    2. Lynn Fuckin' Dickey November 26, 2018

      Christmas comes late this year.

  3. randy parins November 20, 2018

    moron she married will kress from gb pack not ki

  4. Cheese November 20, 2018

    You could say that it’s still sort of the same era as long as Alfred E. Neuman is still around. Especially if they keep that stupid power structure he put in place.

    1. KILLER November 21, 2018

      It is funny about how they have weekly meetings new now this year on the game plan and such. This positioned Ginger Gap to take some credit for any success. But is the reverse true? Hells to the No. Not his fault if it goes bad, only to his credit if it goes well. Got that?

      If he fires Gravylicker at years end for lack of creativity/success… think about it… each of those game plans and the plays were run by and approved by… wait for it… Ginger Gap! Before each game was even played!!!!!

      Puts his stamp of approval on each game plan then terminates Gravylicker for going forward with the plans Ginger Gap approved!

      1. Ferris November 21, 2018

        While you’re writing about coaches here is a fun fact for lonely people who love to do research. Mike Zimmer career HC record. 45-31-1 for a .591 winning percentage. With 2 NFC North Championships, I hear there are banners to prove it. McDipshit, McFatFuck, McGravy, the current idiot roaming the GB sideline 135-82-2 a .621 winning percentage with a Superbowl title. Now here is where someone says Zimmer has only been a HC since 2014 so only in his 5th year. McAsshole 1st 5 years as a HC 48-32 a .600 winning percentage with a Superbowl title.
        But hey the Vikings do have Captain Kirk…that’s going great.

        1. KILLER November 22, 2018

          Ah, a Gravylicker defender! Stand tall. Stand alone.

          I guess I could point out things like your gravylicking God starting with a Hall of Fame QB and then getting another one who, while certainly no GOAT, is still pretty good. Or the musical chairs at QB for Zimmer plus injury curses he’s dealt with (AP whole year a couple times, Bridgewater, Bradford, etc. etc.). If you switch actual circumstances in the first 5 years the likely records would be 27-50 Gravylicker and 59-21 Zimmer.

          You think once the Packers finally fire Gravylicker the Vikings will quick fire Zimmer in order to hire him? Don’t be ridiculous. Would anyone? No. Don’t be ridiculous. Not even you! I have too much respect for you to think you’d do that! Thus, the point you were trying to make that Gravylicker is a better coach than Zimmer is proven fictitious and facetious.

          So, there’s that.

          But also.

          Zimmer is a man of honor whereas Gravylicker is not.

          I know, not important to Packer fans but that kind of thing is extremely important to Vikings fans and Minnesotans.

          1. PF4L November 22, 2018

            Ferris, Ferris, Ferris……

            Please stop hurting The Lonely Boys feelings.

            In the future, please consider showing The Lonely Boy the same amount of respect and sympathy that i show him each time the State Corrections Dept. lets him have internet access.

  5. PF4L November 21, 2018

    Do it right (this) time or don’t do it at all.

    The E. C. needs to tell Murphy what to do (shocking i know). Have GGT terminate McCarthy, name Philbin interim head coach.

    Then hire a consultant and get an early start to find a new President. Preferably someone with NFL executive experience this time that doesn’t come off as misfit and an embarrassment when speaking in public.

    Restore the power of the GM and give him his balls back to hire a new head coach. Have someone help carry Ted’s box out to his 2005 Prius. Rewrite the by-laws back to the original power structure.

    Get rid of the dead financial weight on the roster (finally). Keep drafting well. Significantly improve quality of free agents (stop pissing away money on non producers).

    In other words…..get serious.

    1. Icebowl November 21, 2018

      Nice piece PF4L
      That pretty much summarizes the game plan…
      short & sweet…..

      Have a great Thanksgiving my friend….always a pleasure reading your posts.

      1. PF4L November 21, 2018

        You also good Sir.

        Happy times and good health to you and your family.

  6. Hinder November 21, 2018

    The B.O.D needs to fire GGT and everyone down the line. They are all tainted with Uncle Ted’s old man smell. This, of course, will never happen as long as the cash keeps rolling in and it will for the foreseeable future because any random homeless dude living in an alley couldn’t help but make a profit with this team. Anyway, GGT might be off the hook on this decision because it looks like Old Mashed Potatoes and Gravy isn’t having any fun and may walk after the season to get a job in a town with a Waffle House.

    1. MJ November 21, 2018

      Well, the profits will be high as long as the team is doing well. If you have a bunch of playmakers making plays, you will sell shirts with their names on them. If the team adopts the habit of underperforming, even the economic side will take a hit. So, even from the business sense it makes sense to course correct soon.

  7. Kato November 21, 2018

    Kumerow is activated. We are saved! Going to the super bowl. Put your fucking mortgage up in a wager.

    1. MJ November 21, 2018

      Yes! Everything’s now fixed on offense!
      But a bit more seriously, this guy had Aaron’s seal of approval. I don’t know if he will propel the offense to the next level, but at least he has earned a try. Should he not work, well, trade him to Cleveland for a late rdr.

  8. John D November 21, 2018

    Prediction:
    Pettine as HC
    Joe Witt as DC
    New unnamed creative OC that’s AR approved.

    Need a QB coach that actually played the game.

    1. Cheese November 22, 2018

      Pettine said he doesn’t want to be a head coach after the headache he had in Cleveland. He wants to stick with what he knows best and likes to do, defense.

  9. PF4L November 22, 2018

    Happy Thanksgiving everyone.

    I hope peace and love surrounds you and your family today and everyday.

    Today i’m thankful that the suspects in the murder of 13 year old Sandra Parks from Milwaukee are now charged and behind bars. Sandra was guilty of sleeping in her bedroom when gunshots from outside entered her bedroom window.

    The two previously convicted felons (according to the criminal complaint) were shooting at an “unknown target”. Personally, I would call it a house with people in it.

    Ironically…. when Sandra was 11 years old back in 2016, she wrote an essay for school called “OUR TRUTH”.
    https://www.wisn.com/article/sandra-parks-milwaukee-violence-essay-1542747376-25242347/25242347

    An 11 year old girl with maturity and wisdom well beyond her years.

    R.I.P.

    1. PF4L November 22, 2018

      UPDATE: It was reported that no National Organizations will be present at vigils, or gather in Milwaukee asking for the senseless violence to stop. Citing they want to keep their resources on standby in the event of a cop shooting a hoodrat.

      Also citing the fact she was only the 6th child killed in Milwaukee in this manner this year. So it hasn’t reached the level of being “a problem” yet, in their mind.

      1. Kato November 22, 2018

        Dude. Be glad they haven’t. Their solutions are to block fucking expressways, at least in Chicago.

        1. PF4L November 22, 2018

          That incident at Mercy Hospital was tragic…wtf right?

  10. Mitch Anthony November 22, 2018

    On this deal with McCarthy, if it really is the end of the road for him so be it. I don’t have hate for the guy but the name calling just ain’t for me. I do believe he should have been shown the door after the playoff loss to Seattle (some would argue even sooner) but that is in part to my “highly successful” hindsight. If he gets another gig somewhere, good luck to him. Go prove how “highly successful” you really are without an Aaron Rodgers in his prime as your QB. I have no loyalties or apologies for him, and there are plenty of irritations he delivers for me with his arrogance.

    In the future we’ll hear the leaks and maybe read a tell-all about how the powers that be knew that Ted was indeed losing it but still kept him around and in a position of power and decision making. What a fail. We’ll find out that instead of absorbing himself in football operations, Murphy spend an inordinate amount of time on websites devoted to toboggans and inner-tubes. We’ll hear that Ball was actually the inventor of copper wire when he wrestled someone for a penny that landed on the floor. Point is, as much as a good deal of this is a McCarthy problem, it was/is still a collective problem the team will be correcting for some time to come. We can blame all we want for bad coaching decisions, bad time management, or just allowing the rest of the league to creatively pass the guy by, but player acquisitions and retention falls on GM and front office and it was not all that good.

    It is evident that McCarthy has lost the team. There are just too many new player spokesmen popping up and chipping their teeth about what aspects of what game was done wrong. Tramon Williams comes to mind right now. McCarthy was given more than a generous amount of time to do his job. It’s time.

    Happy Thanksgiving to you all. I enjoy many of you, and the discussions on this board. I’d be really thankful if Rob Born returned to this board too.