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Mike McCarthy Knows He’s Screwed

By god, it would be a dream come true if the Green Bay Packers finally fired Mike McCarthy. Unfortunately, it’s going to take a garbage season like this one to get that job done.


The ultimate wild card in this scenario is going to be Packers president Ginger Gap Tooth. It seems pretty clear that Aaron Rodgers wants McCarthy gone. General manager Brian Gutekunst, it appears, wants McCarthy gone.

But since everyone reports to Mark Murphy, none of that matters. It’s GGT who will make the final call on Fat Mike.

What we know is Fat Mike is starting to sweat.

“That’s the job. That’s the way this business has gone,” McCarthy said. “We set a standard here the past 12 years, and it’s our responsibility to play to that standard. That’s the way we approach it.”

Not playing to that standard this year, are you Gravy Head?

The Packers have had the opportunity to win in each of their last three losses. All of those were on the road, where the team is 0-5.

McCarthy’s teams have started slow before. That’s actually been a regular occurrence, but we are now beyond the tipping point.

We discussed the uphill battle — probably insurmountable — the Packers would face to make the playoffs if they lost to the Seattle Seahawks. And they did just that.

The Packers have had a chance to win in Los Angeles against the Rams, in New England and in Seattle. They won none. And I will be fair, Gravy Fart couldn’t account for Ty Montgomery and Aaron Jones fumbling in those first two mentioned losses.

But this last game in Seattle has a familiar stench. It has the stench of the NFC Championship game following the 2014 season.

This game was nowhere near as big, of course. But if you were watching it and didn’t think of that game, I’m not sure what you were watching. The ending seemed inevitable. The Packers can’t win in Seattle. At least not with Gravy Ass coaching them.

What’s the common denominator with all of these losses?

It’s Fat Mike.

And if the Packers miss the playoffs two years in a row, he should be out on his fat ass. Even if they somehow make it in as the sixth seed and lose at any point, he still needs to go

Mordecai Jones

Mordecai is a writer living in Los Angeles. He primarily writes screenplays, but also does crap like this because GREEN BAY PACKERS, baby!



  1. Karen Dervetski November 17, 2018

    Lard ass should be gone a long ago. Like keeping Capers, way to long. Murphy must act or be gone too, and take ass faced Ball with you. Enough

  2. Don welsh November 17, 2018

    The only way to get FLAT DICK Murphy to do anything is stop going to games and stay away from MURPHYLAND. He sits in his office with his hands in his pants dreaming of money.

  3. PF4L November 17, 2018

    Rob Demovsky gets some time with McCarthy recently….

    Demovsky: Thanks for meeting with me Mike, but why are we meeting at Dennys?
    Mike: Because i’ve been studying their menu for 10 weeks now, plus i haven’t eaten for an hour now.
    Demovsky: Fair enough….so did you see how i handled Aaron Rodgers after the game?
    Mike: Aaron who?
    Demovsky: (long deep chuckle) Good one Mike. So let me ask you, the outside media seems to think you will be fired after the season, how do you feel about that?
    Mike: That’s the league
    Demovsky: C’mon Mike, i didn’t drive all this way to watch you scarf down 3 Grand Slams and a chocolate cake, give me something.
    Mike: Well listen Rob….I can accept losing i guess, and if they fire me, that’s their choice but i doubt that the story ends there.
    Demovsky: What the fuck do you mean Mike?
    Mike: Ok, ok, calm down….off the record. I haven’t been treated with the respect in the office that a highly successful NFL coach should be treated.
    Demovsky: Meaning what? Stop wasting my time Mike.
    Mike: Ok first though, can you do me a favor and pull the table closer to you, i feel like i’m being crushed.
    Demovsky: Fine
    Mike: What i mean is, i think Russ and Brian are making fun of me behind my back and talking, and making fun of me with other employees. They are saying Murphy is my “Daddy”. They make weird faces and people laugh as i’m passing them up in the hallway.
    Demovsky: Ummmm….Not much you can do about that Mike, people have freedom of speech.
    Mike: Well, i hired Stacey Abram’s team of lawyers and they say i have a workplace harassment case if i get fired. I mean, i can accept losing the job, but i’ll file a major lawsuit then, i mean, shouldn’t someone have to pay?
    Mike: Speaking of paying (slides check over to Rob), you agreed to pay for my food.
    Demovsky: WTF Mike?….$91.67?
    Mike: Oh that?….no biggie, i got here two hours early and started eating to kill time. I’m sure ESPN will cover it.
    Demovsky: Whatever Mike.

    1. KILLER November 17, 2018

      Well done, Monty.

      1. PF4L November 17, 2018

        Thanks Karen.

  4. Deepsky November 18, 2018

    Here’s the thing. McCarthy and Rodgers I think fundementally believe in the same offense. Neither believes much in the run or short passing game, although I think Rodgers likes the short passing game even less.

    Both want to throw the ball down field.

    When you see Rodgers have an issue it’s after the defense has called the right defense to easily stop the play. That’s when Rodgers seems to get angry.

    What offensive coach calls the play right every play?

    What coach out there is going to have the exact same philosophy as Rodgers?