Aaron Rodgers Doesn’t Have Magic Words This Time

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Aaron Rodgers and Russell Wilson

In the past it was R-E-L-A-X or “run the table.” Things Green Bay Packers quarterback Aaron Rodgers spouted to the media when the team was in a hole. Just like they are now.

Each time, those Rodgers-led teams made the playoffs. The “run-the-table” bunch ran it all the way to the NFC Championship game. That was a blowout loss to Atlanta, but hell. At least they made it that far.

This Packers team is going fucking nowhere. And this year, Rodgers doesn’t have any magic words.

This should give you a good sense that Rodgers knows this team can’t compete at the highest levels. It should also tell you that Rodgers doesn’t have faith in his coach.

It seems that palooka Demovsky has been trying to coax something of the sort out of Rodgers, anyway. At Rodgers’ postgame press conference Thursday night, Cher tossed up a softball question obviously designed for just such a statement.

Rodgers, obviously aware of Cher’s tactics, didn’t bite. In fact, he kind of smashed that softball back in Demovsky’s face like Lucas Patrick did to Clay Matthews last summer.

“Of course there’s hope,” Rodgers said. “Of course we believe in each other. It’s going to take one galvanizing moment, whether that’s a speech or at practice or something happens in the game, something’s got to get this thing going. I thought we had moments tonight where that was the way we were going. The defense, a lot of injuries. Offensively, we lost Jimmy (Graham). Guys battled. Nobody gave up hope. We just didn’t play well enough when we had to play well enough.”

Okay, so the Packers haven’t given up. Great.

That doesn’t mean they’re not frustrated. I could see at least three times during the game where Rodgers was like, here we go again. Whether it’s getting fucked by the officials in Seattle or getting fucked by The Buffoon himself, Mike McCarthy, someone or other is riding a train on the Packers. Not the kind that rides on tracks.

And that’s odd, because their L-train — or as they call it, Monorail (yeah, I’ll get to that in second) — doesn’t run anywhere close to CenturyLink Field as I recall. But definitely take it to MoPOP. That shit it dope!

But hey, what do they have over there in Seattle?


About The Author

Mordecai is a writer living in Los Angeles. He primarily writes screenplays, but also does crap like this because GREEN BAY PACKERS, baby!

25 Comments on "Aaron Rodgers Doesn’t Have Magic Words This Time"

  1. Cheese

    Mike McCarthy trusted his depleted defense, without Clark and Daniels, to make three possibly four stops in 4 minutes against Seattle with only one timeout, more than he trusted Aaron Rodgers to get two yards for a first down. What. The. Fuck… Granted Rodgers did underthrow a gimme of a pass the play before, you don’t take the ball out of his hands and let the other team control the game with that much time left. Let Aaron write his own story.

    How about MM’s post game presser? The guy was all choked up over something.

    Nice Simpsons reference.

  2. Fans are not very bright. Rodgers is totally disgusted with the calls presented. Can he change the call? Maybe, but if unsuccessful MM becomes bully. My point: Does anyone see Rodgers and MM talking at all during the game? Any coach next to Rodgers studying plays and defensive sets? NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

  3. MM²SUCK

    Aaron Rodgers has “Buffoon Burnout” He is overwhelmed with the added responsibility of carrying a talent depleted Packers team on his back . . . plus devising and offsetting the Buffoons ridiculous schemes and player personnel packages. He is NOT a Demi-god! he is a human! For fuck’s sake! When is this Gravy filled Buffoon going to leave? When will we see a REAL NFL head coach in Green Bay again? AFTER Rodgers retires? Or gets injured so bad he has to retire? Or he finally says Fuck It and just leaves? last night’s game was so miserably mismanaged that McCarthy should have been let go after the game . . . MURPHY INCLUDED! What is the difference? This team has a such a slim chance to get into the playoffs that it really does not matter. What matters now is a NEW and HEALTHY housecleaning for the future success in Green Bay . . .

    • PF4L

      The phrase was….. ‘this offense is a work in progress.” It may not be what fans wanted to hear, but at least it was the truth. Much like his proclamations of the past.

      In other news…….A reporter cornered Jimmy Graham and spoke with him for a couple of minutes……

      Reporter: How’s the hand Jimmy?
      Jimmy: Broken thumb.
      Reporter: What happened?
      Jimmy: I was blocking a guy.
      Reporter: It looked like you were trying to poke him in the eye.
      Jimmy; It’s called blocking, you watch the NFL much?
      Reporter: Whoa…sorry..it just looked like you were really mad at his face mask.
      Jimmy: I do two things at a high in this league, making money, and blocking.
      Reporter: So what’s next Jimmy, out a week or two?
      Jimmy: Probably gonna shut it down and call it a season.
      Reporter: anything you want to say to Packer fans out there?
      Jimmy: Well…..no. But i’d like to send a shout out to Russ Ball. Thank you!!

  4. Hinder

    Before all you dog lovers send an ASPCA hit squad to get me, my last comment was a joke. Yes, a shitty joke, but all my jokes are shitty.

    • Mitch Anthony

      Funny how that story really got a legend somewhat distant from the real truth. The dog got shot because it was a nuisance animal and was ranging and killing the neighbor’s chickens.

      It was not because Dan Devine sucked and ruined the team for many years to come. No, the poor pooch did not pay for the John Hadl fiasco with its life.

  5. Rodgers was just a year or two ahead of most everyone else. The magic words are “That’s a stupid fucking call”.

    Well maybe we couldn’t hear it, but you could read the lips, and as the saying goes “Actions speak louder than words.”

    • PF4L

      That was said before Rodgers contract extension. When the QB says “thats a stupid fucking call” to the head coach and that’s the end of it. We know who is the Alpha male and who holds the “leverage” on this team.

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