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Packers, Mason Crosby Shit The Bed

The Green Bay Packers lost another game we figured they should have won. This time, against the division rival Detroit Lions. And largely at the hands of kicker Mason Crosby.

You want to talk about shitting the bed? Perhaps you recall this scene from Trainspotting.

There’s Mason Crosby, creeping out of that room with his shit-filled sheets.

Crosby was 1-for-5 on field goals. He also missed a fucking extra point. There’s 10 points off the board in an 8-point game.

What? Is your wife divorcing you, kicky? DO YOUR FUCKING JOB ANYWAY!

That aside, let’s be honest here. The Packers played like shit.

Fat Mike’s game plan?


Aaron Rodgers’ accuracy?


When have you ever seen that guy miss so many easy throws? I’ll tell you when. It was in 2015, when he was dating Olivia Munn. Take from that what you like.

So Rodgers went out there and threw for 442 yards. Should be enough to win, right?

Not when the same guy turns the ball over two times. Both were fumbles. Both were instances where QB1 held onto the ball too long. Can’t trust those rookie receivers! Can’t just throw one in there!

Both of those fumbles set the Lions up inside the Packers’ 30-yard-line.

That gave the Lions 10 points. Here’s a gift. Don’t even open it. I’ll just tell you. There are 10 points inside. Signed, Aaron Rodgers.

And then there was the vaunted defense that shut down the mighty Buffalo Bills last week. Shut them out, in fact.

Well, guess what.

Not so fucking vaunted.

They just couldn’t get the stop the Packers needed.

And so, we’re in the dregs. At this point in the season, the Green Bay Packers are not as good as we thought they might be. Aaron Rodgers is off. The defense is pretty much just good when they play the Buffalo Bills.

And that’s reality.

Mordecai Jones

Mordecai is a writer living in Los Angeles. He primarily writes screenplays, but also does crap like this because GREEN BAY PACKERS, baby!



  1. Ferris October 7, 2018

    TJ Watt looked good though. Didn’t watch and don’t care anymore. Call me when the fat idiot is not the coach. What is his excuse this year? Rodgers is playing but the team still sucks. It is apparent that McCarthy’s voice means nothing. No plan, no accountability, just like every other year. Cut Crosby in the locker room, that is 2 losses on him and him alone this year. How many will it take until they workout a kicker?

  2. MJ October 7, 2018

    “Crosby was 1-for-5 on field goals. He also missed a fucking extra point. There’s 10 points off the board in an 8-point game.”
    That’s extremely lazy thinking. Yes, when you simply do the math, the point differential is just 8. However, this game had too many possessions due to our offense simply giving the ball back as soon as they got it early in the game. Where are those touchdowns the new offense was supposed to score? The Lions had no problem scoring some, even though they were stopped many times by our offense. But no worries, they got the ball right away to try again and score on a defense that did not catch a break the whole game. The Lions let up by the end, and were just interested in burning time instead of increasing the point margin, so the deficit ended up being just 8.
    Rodgers continues his streak of being uncharacteristically inaccurate, in a league where 2nd year QBs are putting up the big yards. McCarthy continues to use Aaron Jones in a pinch, even when he is averaging 6yds a carry. The defense forced a number of stops, but it is all wasted if the opposing offense gets to try again shortly afterwards. But yeah, put it on the kicker when we were three scores behind, and were supposed to be scoring touchdowns to catch up.
    Crosby was dead awful, but this game is not on him.

    1. PF4L October 7, 2018

      Speaking the truth! The missed field goals are a non issue if they could convert in the red zone. this red zone thing is becoming a serious problem the past two weeks.

      Then McCarthy has Crosby attempt a 56 yarder, after missing 3 field goals.

  3. PF4L October 7, 2018

    “When have you ever seen that guy miss so many easy throws? I’ll tell you when. It was in 2015, when he was dating Olivia Munn. Take from that what you like.” – Mordecai

    Wasn’t that also the year Nelson was out for the season? But yea…i’m sure it was because of Olivia. Nobody could argue with that logic.

    You’re growing as a writer Mordi. You, my friend, are going places.

    1. Chiller October 7, 2018

      He sucks so much.

  4. Skinny October 7, 2018

    I told you guys this was going to be shit game. This team is so horse shit its not even funny.

  5. Dennis Dervetski October 7, 2018

    I’ve kinda lost confidence in our offense and I think so have most fans. There was a time when the offense flowed and had control. Anymore it’s scary like in the past. Red zone ineptitude. All receivers fo long, no safety valve. Rodgers, whom I love, is blowing it big time.

    1. Skinny October 7, 2018

      You gotta love Rodgers still taking the play clock down below 5 seconds when we’re behind three scores.

  6. Mitch Anthony October 7, 2018

    Looking for a scapegoat? Maybe Ron Zook. Maybe when you collectively look at how special the special teams unit played today and not just Crosby.

    The first punt return. That ball was dropping at about the 18 yd line. If you ain’t catching it, or fair catching it, you have no damn business getting in a position to have the ball touch you. To have the ball touch Kevin King and then give the Lions the ball on the one was just bone headed. But why was it bone headed? That shit should be coached to death! That’s special teams discipline.

    Special teams penalties. How about negating a terrific return with an idiotic penalty on the opposite side of the field. Why not, since you’re not even in the same zip code it might be a great opportunity to see some laundry get tossed around. That’s special teams discipline and that’s on the ST coach. Can we see a decent return in any NFL game without penalty flags nowadays?

    So now we have to deal with another cycle of Mason Crosby going through the yips. Four field goals missed (4×3) and a PAT = 13 , not 10. Check your nauts and gozintas Jethro. But PF4L is absolutely correct, the red zone conversions suck. Too much dependence on Crosby in the Vikings game, the Bills game, and today.

    I am not surprised the Lions won, but I thought Stafford would have flung the ball like 50 times. Stafford had a lackluster day. Actually Rodgers put it up a bunch and for the first time in a long time had over 400 yards and GB owned a bunch of clock time. Time for another R E LA X speech yet Aaron?

    They will right the ship, somewhat. I’m sure some, if not most, of these issues will improve because the season is early. If it continues, we can start talking about drafting some O line, edge rusher, ….and a kicker.

    1. Cheese October 7, 2018

      Finally, I’m surprised it took so long for someone to notice. At least someone did.

      Yes, a 13 point differential is huge, but for fuck’s sake get the ball in the endzone. You know who was really good at doing that? That one washed up receiver we had who led the league in TD’s for a year and a half before Dentyne Ice came to town. I thought we had someone who was going to fill his shoes? I can’t seem to remember who that guy was…

  7. PF4L October 7, 2018

    In other News…..

    Serious pride and mad respect to the Brew Crew. Eight straight wins to take the NLCD. Then sweep three to take the NLDS.

    Rest up for Friday’s NLCS. Well deserved.

  8. Howard October 7, 2018

    The defense was put in a hard position with the turnovers, however you need to at least force a field goal attempt or two when the Lions get in the red-zone. I will give the Packer D the first and goal at the one after the punt turnover, but the Packer D allowed the Lions 100% (4-4) red-zone efficiency. Prior to this game the Packer D has been at about a 50% opponent red-zone efficiency. By the way who covers the middle of the end zone in the red-zone on pass plays? Either the linebackers are not dropping or the safety(s) are not in the proper position.

    The Packer offense for this game actually had a very good red-zone efficiency of 75% (3-4). Prior to this game the Packer offense has been at an approximate 42% red-zone efficiency. That is in the bottom 5 in the league. A 75% redzone efficiency would put a team in approximately the top 5 in the league, if that efficiency could be maintained.

    The turnovers, penalties, missed field goals, and defensive red-zone play, or lack thereof, lost this game.

    Overall this team is not focused. Players have responsibility for that, but the way this team has come out of the gates in at least 3 of 5 games, I put a lot on the coaching.

    1. MJ October 8, 2018

      “…but the Packer D allowed the Lions 100% (4-4) red-zone efficiency…”
      “The Packer offense for this game actually had a very good red-zone efficiency of 75% (3-4)”
      The thing is these stats assume you got to the red zone in the first place, something that did not happen very often. I recall us forcing punts, and even more, us not even scratching the red zone.

      1. Howard October 8, 2018

        Maybe I’m misunderstanding your comment?

        In the NFL the high end of average red zone attempts per game is slightly over 4 per game. Last year the top team in that category was New England 4.4 attempts per game (APG), Rams 4.3 APG, Pittsburg 3.9 APG all playoff teams. This year currently the top teams are New Orleans 5.2 APG, Rams 5.0 APG, Houston 4.4 APG, Kansas City 4.2 APG then Baltimore and Atlanta tied at 4.0 APG. So yes the Packers having 4 red zone attempts in a game is very good compared to the historic database the league. Currently the Packers are tied at 16th at 3.2 APG.

        As another example last year the top 3 teams in red zone scoring percentage were Jacksonville 69%, Philadelphia at 64%, and New England at 63%. All three of those teams were in Divisional championship games and the Super Bowl. So 75% red zone scoring is very good. Now can the Packers offense keep that up?

        On defense the best teams last year were in the mid to upper 30% and low 40% in allowing opponent red zone scoring. The Packers last year were the 30th ranked defense in allowing opponent red zone scoring at 65%. So yes allowing 100% redzone scoring is not a good trend by the Packer defense. The worst redzone scoring attempts per game this year is Minnesota at 4.2 APG. Last year the worst APG was 3.6. Currently for this year the Packers D is tied for 13th at 3.2 APG and 21st at 62.5% opponent redzone scoring allowed. So I do believe it was a very bad game by the Packer defense in allowing opponent red zone scoring at 100%. The overall trend is not good.

        Of course none of these stats take into account an offense that can hit scoring shock plays outside the red zone, or defenses that allow scoring shock plays from outside the red zone.

        I think the defense played well outside the red zone, but beside turnovers, 3rd down allowed and made %, and red zone % allowed and made, are key stats in every game that determines winners and losers.

        1. MJ October 9, 2018

          Thank you very much for the greatly detailed comment, always value your contributions. Yes, I meant that we had forced some stops, preventing them from getting to the redzone in the first place (they had 8 drives). And that we had been stopped many times (9 drives total, only scored TDs when the game was out of hand), having comparatively few trips to the redzone, with all those FGs and three and outs. By this I mean that each team had many drives, which translated to extra attempts (many unsuccessful) to get to the redzone.
          On the other hand, when a defense spends a big chunk of time on the field, it will tire, pressure will be down (it was never that high to begin with), and coverage can break more easily, as the ability to make sudden moves (explosiveness to follow a releasing WR) begins to decline. This will invariably lead to some scores, unless we are the 2015 Broncos o 2013 Seahawks. Rodgers’ lost fumble gave the opposition a short field, and a cut-short drive gave the defense less time to catch their breaths.
          Our defense is decent (somewhere between 19th and 4th, I would say), not great. But this team should be a powerhouse on offense, and with a defense just holding their end of the bargain, we would have good playoff aspirations. When people simply look at the score and straight away blame it on the defense (not saying this is you, as you provided some stats and context instead of reacting by impulse), I tend to watch the context, as how the time of possession was distributed (Lions 36:55, Packers 23:05, even with the Leos playing a softer prevent on the second half!), what field lengths the defense got (rather short this game). We had a horrific third down efficiency (2 out of 9), and I recall us getting pushed into third and long quite often, as opposed to converting on second or first, or even getting manageable third-downs. Heck, we were some corners down as the game progressed. Didn’t Jaire and Jackson had to leave the field at some point? While I agree that a 100% RZ efficiency is a gift we can’t be handing out lightly, and the defense is far from perfect, but they were the best unit we had out there (def, off, ST) and have some valid excuses for their performance this game.

          1. Howard October 9, 2018

            These are good discussions to have. I do believe the defense was the most consistent group on the field. The short fields caused by turnovers did not help them, but it also shows they are more of a middle of the Pack defense at this time. Not top 5. I also feel anytime a field goal attempt is missed from 45 yards or less it feels like a turnover.

            I’m certain the Packers had the ball for 33:20 and the lions had the ball for 26:40.

            Jaire was inactive for the game and would have been a plus. Not sure that Jackson left the game, but King did because he got his face stepped on. To bad it is not hockey the trainers would have bottled up his teeth and gave him stitches (if needed) on the bench without any painkiller. Would have only missed a series.

  9. Savage57 October 7, 2018

    “Crosby was 1-for-5 on field goals. He also missed a fucking extra point. There’s 10 points off the board in an 8-point game.:

    And I thought I sucked at math.

  10. Bob October 7, 2018

    What about when the receivers ran into each other not once but twice and the second time Rodgers had to go over to them and explain they ran the wrong route. What the hell were the coaches doing.

  11. Larry October 7, 2018

    This is a poorly coached football team. At least on the bright side I will now get my Sundays back cause I’m done watching this train wreck. Fuck Mike McCarthy and for all I care Murphy can drop dead…….

  12. TyKo Steamboat October 7, 2018

    Terrible Special Teams with the Kevin King punt coverage. Terrible coaching, officiating, energy & play calling.

    This wasn’t like the Washington game. We were a better football team & had no business losing to the Kittens.
    Just terrible play.

    No pass rush. Predictable offensive play calling. & no Leadership. Where’s the leaders? Thank goodness we play the 49ers on Monday night & then have the bye week so McCarthy & Rodgers can go on that big fishing trip together.

  13. TyKo Steamboat October 7, 2018

    Oh, & did anyone see the sack of bones, Ha-Ha Clinton-Dix get trucked by Kenny Golliday? That was embarrassing. Does HHCD even lift? That was pathetic.

  14. Deepsky October 8, 2018

    This feels very similar to the end of 2015 when the Packers won only 4 out of 10 games, then started 2016 again winning only 4 out of 10 games. During that time Rodgers had a mid 80s qb rating and his accuracy seemed off. At that time it felt like Rodgers and McCarthy were at odds and it feels like they are at odds again.

  15. Empacador October 8, 2018

    When Tony Brown got that personal foul for taunting after the defense made the stop, all you needed to see was that look on McCarthy’s face to know this team is soft. One of the announcers said Brown should have been fired on the way back to the sideline. They show McCarthy call Brown over and have that typical pained look on his face, but not really chewing ass mad like a few weeks ago when McCarthy went after the ref. These young guys with too much bravado extending drives that were stopped are causing some unwarranted criticism toward the defense. You would think the players or coaches would get on them about proper place and time to showboat if they must rather than at the end of what are drive stoppers.

    Brice still looks dangerous throwing his body around like he did when he took Muhammad Wilkerson out for the season. The announcers noticing the Packer WRs being bunched too close together multiple times when Rodgers couldn’t find anyone open. Lots of comments from people bitching on the live stream at jsonline that if Rodgers is gonna call out the offense he needs to do a better job himself because he missed some easy throws.

    1. MJ October 8, 2018

      Firing Tony Brown would be excessive, since our CBs are made of glass and we need depth. But he should have gotten at least yelled at by a coach, and benched for a while, possibly downgraded in the depth chart for a couple of games.

  16. MM²SUCK October 8, 2018

    Rodgers is psyched out. He has had all that he can handle of Buffoons ineptitude and arrogance. He may be playing, but I believe he is just going through the motions. Taking the clock down to below five seconds when they needed to push ahead quickly in the fourth quarter? Running two running plays in a row? During the last few games, the announcers are even LOUDLY calling out many of Buffoons ridiculous mistakes! Rodgers is in over his head from the shit storm that Buffoon creates each game. No adjustments, nothing to offset the same shit from happening each week. VERY, very poor discipline from the players. The announcers even calling out how they know what the offense is going to do predicated by how Green Bay lines up each play! Rodgers probably feels as if his hands are tied even before the ball is snapped . . . He NEVER has been so out of sorts before. The towel may have been thrown in . . . He is older and plays each week with injury. Consider this, In the last 47 regular season games the Packers are 23-23-1. Look no further . . .

    1. Big B October 8, 2018

      Interesting record. Coughlin was fired and he won twice as many Super Bowls as MM. MM and his “message” have grown stale. New and improved offense is anything but; three years of Hundley tutelage produced nada. Just as Philly grew weary of Andy Reid and needed new direction, so too do the Packers. With a contract through 2019, if MM really is perceived as a good coach league-wide, then TRADE him after this year. Get something back, maybe a draft pick per pound. I would rather have silos than rubble- move on from McCarthy.

      1. PF4L October 8, 2018

        Can we trade Murphy for a Howdy Doody Doll? We could prop the doll up on Murphy’s desk chair, they look exactly alike, no one would even know.

    2. PF4L October 8, 2018

      MM SUCK makes a lot of valid points.

      Some quick, off the cuff other thoughts……

      5 weeks into the season we are a .500 team and in 2 weeks meet some tough competition.

      The Philbin hiring and the new offensive playback seems like a bad joke was played on us fans.

      What’s with the facemask penalty’s? Extending drives at 15 yards a clip.

      Maybe it’s just me, but if Dix isn’t intercepting passes that softly land in his hands, he’s a liability. Of course, 2 more interceptions, and he’s probably Pro Bowl bound.

      Can players making more than 10 mill/year be play makers? Is that possible, or too much to ask?

      Besides Rodgers, the biggest impact maker was J. Nelson. That’s been proven since Rodgers broke his collarbone. It is also (in my eyes) proven each week that we are without him.

      I might be alone, but i’d pick Richard Rogers over Lance Kendrick every Sunday. Give me R. Rogers in the end zone every time with his hands. Speaking of tight ends. We have a 6’7″ tight end that is supposed to be unstoppable in the red zone and we are currently shitting the bed in the red zone, what am i missing here? That’s the 13 million dollar question.

      Wilkerson….good try, i guess. T Willy, nice guy, i get it….how he ended up ranked 9th by PFF last season, i’ll never understand, but ok. Kevin King…keep trying, i guess.

      Learn to trust Rodgers spoken words…. Relax means F U, i got this. When Rodgers says the offense is a work in progress. It’s a work in progress, and it shows.

      A lot was made of the optimism in the off season, i confess myself, getting Philbin back had me a bit stoked about the offense. But as i spoke about before the season, there were way too many IF’S about this team. A hell of a lot of IF’S. IF’S don’t fly in this league, as we are seeing.

      1. Adam October 8, 2018

        100% Agreed.

        I was left with some decent optimism about our rookie receivers (save, for Moore). Yeah, they fucked up a few times, but the play-making ability is there. More first string practice and more game reps should speed up their progression – which I think they better start pushing because Cobb’s writing is on the wall.

        On the flip side of that, Rodgers needs to start trusting them to go make a play. There were a lot of throwaways yesterday where I thought he held the ball too long and refused to lead a throw to a guy. It’s like he flat-out won’t lead a guy on a throw anymore unless it’s a go-route.

        Aaron Jones continues to be smothered away. Williams AND MONTGOMERY (!) both got more touches than him. ZERO touches in the entire second fucking half. There’s no excuse. Even if you don’t want to run, swing him out on a wheel route, or… fucking…. anything. All he does is make plays while collecting yards and first downs. Fucking use him.

        I’ve been more patient than most here with King, but I’m over it now. He has length, but that’s about it.

        Ha-Ha? HahahhahaNo
        What the fuck was he doing on that last Lion’s touchdown? He went to help cover a guy who was already double-teamed instead of helping King inside. He completely vacated the back of the end zone. Easy pitch-and-catch.

        And you know what, with the game already decided, I thought it was moderately endearing for MM to throw Crosby out there with a few seconds left to try and get his confidence back. Until the post game interview when he mentioned he was actually trying to make it a one possession game. Wow… fuuuuuuuck you, Mike. Going for 56 yarders when you’re down by three possessions in the middle of the fourth is just another chapter in your shitty-game-management bible.

        1. PF4L October 8, 2018

          I agree that it was a nice (smart) move putting Crosby out there at the end to punch one through. I doubt anyone’s giving Crosby any shit, so he had a bad game, move on, i think he’s earned it.

          As far as the 56 yarder, they were actually down 2 scores 20-31. But he’s only kicked a 56 yarder plus, 4 times in his career, he missed 4 kicks up to that point. I understood why he did it, i just question the percentages under the circumstances.

      2. MJ October 8, 2018

        “Maybe it’s just me, but if Dix isn’t intercepting passes that softly land in his hands, he’s a liability. Of course, 2 more interceptions, and he’s probably Pro Bowl bound.”

        I’m all for it if some foolish enough team offers him a big payday after the season is over (evil laugh).

        “Can players making more than 10 mill/year be play makers? Is that possible, or too much to ask?”
        Cobb, Matthews, Perry : all underperforming or injured, Cobb may be the lightest offender of the three here.
        Bakh : clearly overperforming his contract
        Daniels : I say he is even, maybe slightly underperforming. DTs make that money in free agency. I know you don’t agree on this one.
        Jimmy Graham: Barely involved in the gameplan or Rodgers does not look his way a lot.
        Corey Linsley : a bit overpaid, but not grossly like the golden trio above.

        Those are the guys I remember off the top of my head.

  17. PF4L October 8, 2018

    When you watch a Packer game, multiple Packer games, and you don’t notice that Daniels is playing, somethings wrong. Not saying he’s a bad player, he isn’t. But he takes far more than he gives.

    Daniels played 5 games this season, he has 5 solo tackles, 1 sack and a bunch of 0’s. He doesn’t make plays. He averages 4 sacks a season and has 2 FF in his career, in 97 games.