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These Dudes Are Gone From Packers

His name is Robert Paulson. No, actually, their names are Kyle Murphy, Devante Mays and Quinten Rollins.

Those dudes will not be back with the Green Bay Packers.

All three were put on injured reserve as the Packers were cutting their roster down to the 53-man limit on Saturday. And they have all been released with an injury settlement.

Basically, what that says, is we were going to cut you anyway, but here’s a little cash to have on the way out the door. Kind of like if you’re a mobster and you hand someone an envelope full of hundreds and then you whack that guy.

The only difference is you get to pick up the envelope of hundreds on the latter scenario. You know… because the guy is dead.

For Rollins, it’s a fitting end.

A former second-round pick, Rollins played well as a rookie and then backslid. Massively.

If he were an alcoholic, he would have went from recovery to living on the streets and drinking fucking Mad Dog out of a paper bag. That’s the most apt comparison I could make.

The Deuce Deuce is only like $2 per bottle — or at least it was in my 20/20 times — so, just if you were wondering.

The Packers moved Rollins to safety and that seemingly, may have, saved his career. But no. Gutes is swabbing the decks of all Ted Thompson trash.

Murphy, at least early on in the preseason, appeared to be the top backup offensive lineman. And let’s be frank. The backups on the offensive line are straight-up garbage. Jason Spriggs is still on the team for fuck’s sake. That guy should have a job at an auto body shop at this point.

You’d call him Cutter.

The starting five offensive line? They better stay healthy all season.

Oh, but wait. Bryan Bulaga is one of those guys. I’m putting the over/under on his next ACL tear at 12 games. So feel free to send me your action.

And then there’s Devante Mays.


Jay Cutler don't care

Mordecai Jones

Mordecai is a writer living in Los Angeles. He primarily writes screenplays, but also does crap like this because GREEN BAY PACKERS, baby!



  1. Cheese September 2, 2018

    That 2015 draft just keeps looking better and better eh?

    What I find interesting is that Hayward, Randall, and Rollins all had great rookie years with the Packers. Then after that they all regressed and never showed the same promise, at least in GB. What. The. Fuck? Is there something in the water at 1265 Lombardi Ave that starts to take its toll on CB’s after the first year? How can three guys at the same position look so good and then fall flat on their faces that quickly? You can’t blame it on beginners luck. Was it the system? Capers? Lack of leadership? The Packers Way? Pure stupidity?

    Hayward left for San Diego and became arguably the best CB in the league. Randall is going to play his natural position at safety with the Browns and I have no doubt he will perform better there than he did here. Who knows what happens to Rollins. Then there’s also Hyde, he was viewed as the reliable hybrid DB who wasn’t great but made plays now and then. Some people even thought he wasn’t good. Well, he left for Buffalo and ended up going all pro, the second player to do so in recent years. If that doesn’t show that our previous defensive coaching staff was a giant fucking crapshoot then I don’t know what does.

  2. Skinny September 2, 2018

    Their top west coast scout is Sam Seal. How the hell that guy still has a job with the Packers I dont know. Some of his “top” prospects have included Datone Jones, Johnathan Franklin although not his fault with the injury, Rickey Elmore, Trevor Davis, Damarious Randall, Kyle Murphy. Tough to win games with guys like that.

  3. KILLER September 3, 2018

    This year has really been the death knell for the Green Bay Packers 2015 draft class. Not sure what a knell is but isn’t there a place called “Wisconsin Knells”? I digress.

    Everyone knows this was one of the worst drafts in history. In big sports history, not just Green Bay history.
    ROUND 1: Damarius Randall — Misused at cornerback shamefully. Traded away for a bag of stale Fritos and a downgrade at back-up QB. So this terrible pick — actually the pick was fine UNLESS you were going to put him at CB which the Packers did — eventually led to one of the worst ever trades that did not involve high draft picks.
    ROUND 2: Quentin Rollins — The Romans in the Colosseum have finally pointed thumbs down and the gladius has struck his head off.
    ROUND 3: Ty Montgomery — Not much so far. Injury prone. Another victim of position switching.
    ROUND 4: Jake Ryan — Sub-average inside linebacker now sidelined for the year.
    ROUND 5: Brett Hundley — What a nightmare. His preseasons were just a mirage in the desert of the 2015 Packers draft. Last year he started real games and started sucking in the pretty blue water only to discover it was all sand. Dry dry sand.
    ROUND 6: Aaron Ripkowski — Cut this year + just a fullback anyway.
    ROUND 6: Two Other Guys — Who are long gone.
    One could argue that this draft did more than fail to help the Packers. It actually hurt them and made them worse with people like Randall on the field playing the wrong spot. Rollins on the field or Hundley on the field.
    With so many of them suddenly cut and traded this very year one also wonders if the staff was fully aware they were not fit for the roster but kept them on board for political reasons. That would be a typical gravyhead move.

    For sake of comparison the Vikings, in the same draft, were at the opposite end of the spectrum of success. The Vikings were selecting #11 overall and the Packers 30th overall. However, that only means the Packers could not have gotten the Vikings top pick. All the other ones the Packers could have pounced on them before the Vikings.

    At #11 the Vikings got CB Trae Waynes (a Wisconsin native). Last half of last year played at pro bowl level.
    2nd round the Vikings took MLB Eric Kendricks who I thought before the draft the Packers would take in round 1. He’s been amazing. Led the team in tackles 3 consecutive years, incredible in pass coverage, shuts down all screen passing.
    3rd round the Vikings took Danielle Hunter who may achieve Defensive Player of Year soon but has thus far accumulated 25.5 sacks in part time duty.
    5th round the Vikings took WR Stefon Diggs. His shoes are already in the Hall of Fame! He is part of one of the greatest plays in franchise history. Despite missing time to injury in three years he has 200 catches and 15 TDs. #1 in contested catch rate in the NFL !!!!!!

    Just saying.

  4. PF4L September 3, 2018

    “Holy TD catches Batman!!!!”

    5 TD catches a year for 3 years…AMAZING!!

    Who ever achieves that, this from a mere mortal man? Clear a spot in Canton boys!!

    But more importantly….Good to see they let you out of lock-up again.

    1. Ferris September 3, 2018

      Go check the trophy case again……yep still empty. Hey there are some shoes in the HOF I guess. Maybe they can hang the shoes from the rafters. Send some lonely pathetic jackass to lift them from the HOF and tie them together and hang them in the rafters of the glass shithole. Anybody know someone who has time to do that?

        1. PF4L September 3, 2018

          Couldn’t they take a nice picture of the NFC NORTH Banner they won, Blow it up to a 8×10, put it in a real nice picture frame and put it on one of those empty shelves?

          Just tryin to help, i’m a giver.

    2. KILLER September 4, 2018

      You guys like to diss on Diggs. The source of this is either ignorance (very likely) or jealousy.

      Comparing the first three years of each career Davante Adams did have 16 TDs compared to Diggs’ 15. Very slight difference. However, keep in mind Diggs played 5 fewer games in that time span and Adams played in a prolific passing offense.

      In other stats for the first three years Diggs totally dominates Adams. 200 catches to Adams’ 163 catches. 12.4 yard average to Adams’ 11.9. 2,472 yards to Adams’ 1,926. 37 more catches for 546 more yards, and half a yard more per catch. Diggs is known for great hands. Adams is known for drops. Diggs catch percentage on targets is over 66%. Adams was under 60% even though he had a better QB throwing to him.

      Both signed extensions. Vikings wrapped up Diggs for 5 years while Packers got Adams for 4. Average pay per year (across the extended years) is 14.5 million for Adams and 14.4 million for Diggs — even though Diggs is the vastly better player!

  5. cz September 3, 2018

    Ted Thompson’s drafting (what he thought was) “the best player available” failed because of his lack of interpersonal skills.

    With the “taking best available” philosophy’ one must then turn that value into something of value, via trade.

    Instead, misfit Ted, either put that extra talent on the bench, or cut it outright, getting nothing for it.

    Ted’s only passion was to come off as a draft genious…never a trade one.

    He never wanted to take the bad respinsibility with the good responsibility.
    … to fire underperforming coaches … to trade away guys he brought in.

    Ted was a failure other than Woodson or Rodgers.

    Anyone else could have done one or two things right by chance, much like the Patriots getting Brady in round 7.

    If the Pats knew Brady was going to be who he is, they would not have let 31 other teams have six rounds to pick him before they did.

    As for McCarthy and to a lesser extent Bill Bellichick, they are avg who are still standing on shoulders of greatness… McCarthy on Favre and Rodgers. Bill on Brady. Neither coach was successful beforehand.

    Tis a shame for Packer fans they named a street by Lambeau after McCarthy…expecting more than one championship when they did.
    Doing so takes away from streets named after coaches who made players better (Lombardi / Holmgren) rather than the other way around.

    Naming it McCarthy now leaves no street for the real stars of past, present (Rodgers), and future.

    1. Icebowl September 3, 2018

      Ain’t nothing in the rules that says you can’t change street names…..

    2. MJ September 3, 2018

      Bellichick won with Jacoby Brisset in 2016, and in 2008 he did so with Matt Cassell for nearly an entire season after Brady had a torn ACL. As much as I don’t like them for being the only steady contender in the AFC (killing part of the unpredictability), I acknowledge that old bastard is a genius. They try to bring an element of surprise. The smashmouth approach in 2012, as the league was becoming increasingly pass-happy, the unbalanced OL formations, the receiving RBs as part of their offense (2014, and on) which is now a common theme around the league. Even when they lost, they were up there in the contention, and even when they lose, it is by the smallest of margins. It took the great Broncos 2015 defense to hold the fort and prevent a winning comeback. Those very same Broncos that subsequently stomped the Panthers. They were in it against the Eagles the entire game.
      They have an uncanny ability to mount comebacks, partly due to their physical preparation, partly due to their in-game adjustments when things weren’t going their way.

      I couldn’t say the same about McCarthy, who won despite of his predictable plays and playcalling, mostly on the shoulders of Rodgers. Some of McCarthy’s wins include those few times when Capers came up with an inspired scheme and the defense came up strong and kept us in the game despite the offense going three-and-out repeatedly. This is not to defend Capers, as the following game he would get us torched to the tune of 400+ yds.

  6. Big B September 4, 2018

    Look at Packers’ drafts over the last five years- maybe one or two starters/year. and few impact players. Compare our roster with that of the V-word and the talent comparison isn’t even close. As we confirmed last year ARod is the trump card, without him it’s over. Spielman kicked TT’s ass of late.

    Revisionist history would be interesting- if TT hadn’t stumbled in to #12 his tenure would have been Tom Braatz-ian- short and unsuccessful.

  7. KILLER September 4, 2018

    A telling observation for you all:

    Hundley fell flat on his face last year (you know that — that isn’t the observation I’m talking about. We’ll get there.). He’d been on the roster a few years with Gravyhead watching him for hours, days, weeks, months, and years on the practice field. All fine. All good. Pfffft, the Hundley ball goes flat.

    Oooo, who’s fault is it? Well, under Gravyhead, process of elimination, Gravyhead is never to blame. Obviously! So, who was left? Ah ha! The QB coach! Fire him! Fire him! As Gravyhead says in his reflective moment (there was only the one singular moment and no others), “You got to have scapegoats. Get the scapegoat. Once you get the scapegoat you got to get rid of the scapegoat. Get, get rid of. Get, get rid of. Secret of my career success. Zero accountability.”

    Now, under this premise it means Hundley is a perfectly fine QB who only messed up due to the darn darn gollydarn QB coach (McCarthy heard muttering, “Please let it occur to no on I hired this guy. God of Zero Accountability I pray unto thee.”). So, with the new QB coach Hundley should be quite excellent.

    But they knew he wouldn’t be. They knew it wasn’t the QB coach to blame. If Hundley stayed… and continued to be bad… then the scapegoating of the QB coach would be obvious. Even to Packers fans!! So you got to cover up the scapegoat so you can freely scapegoat in the future. Because Gravyhead knows he’ll need plenty more scapegoats!

    So… bye bye Hundley… even if the new back-up is even worse. It is worth downgrading the back up to protect scapegoating which thus protects Gravyhead. Gute the Bad seems to be totally allied with Gravyhead on this as he orchestrated the miserable sorry ass trade that brought in an excuse to get rid of Hundley.