Maaaan… Jamaal Williams Is Going To Be Starting RB

Yeah, Aaron Jones is the best running back the Green Bay Packers have, but he’ll be suspended the first two games for (gasp!) weed. Ty Montgomery is definitely the most dynamic running back the Packers have — a threat in the run or pass game. But what does Fat Mike care? Jamaal Williams will be starting at running back.

Thus, he will very likely get the bulk of the carries. And in a McCarthy offense, that means about 10 per game, which leaves about five to split between the other two guys.

“Hey, we’ve got three running backs who can probably really stretch the defense, wear them out, allow us to just to beat the opposition by multiple touchdowns… Naaaaaaah… fuck all that!”

That’s an actual quote from Fat Mike. Said in between drinking cups of gravy.

No, really. Obviously, Aaron Rodgers is your guy if you’re Fat Mike. But this gravy-gargling fuck always has some pronouncement about the running game. Usually, it’s something like, “This year we’re going to run the ball.”

Gravy Head knows nothing about running the ball and never will. So this year, Gravy Head is going with Jamaal Williams as his No. 1 back. That became apparent when the depth chart was released, in the first couple preseason games and now.

And just let me preface this gravy-brained quote by saying this.

1. Gravy Ass has previously insisted he’s going running back by committee.
2. Gravy Brain has been touting Ty Montgomery all offseason.

“(Williams) is really poised to have a big year,” McCarthy said. “Clearly without playing a game yet, I think we’ll be talking about him at the end of the season as a second-year player that’s made the jump.”

Awwwwww, shit! Jamaal Williams is making the jump!

So how did Gravy Fuck’s mouth not sync up with his brain prior to now?

Oh…. right. Because where the brain would normally be, there’s just fuckin’ gravy in Fat Mike.

Seriously, we wish no ill will to Jamaal Williams. We would love to see him go out and have a 1,000-yard season. However, he’s a straight-ahead kinda guy. A plodder. Something you might tie a plow behind.

Jones is a guy who can make some moves and break off a 60-yard run at any given time. Go to the house. Aaron Rodgers doesn’t get injured.

Montgomery is a dual threat. Matchup problem. Name a linebacker that can cover him?

Here’s an offense that has a chance to be dynamic as hell and Fat Mike is going with a horse that pulls a plow.

Williams must have a secret recipe for some sausage gravy.