Aaron Rodgers: Terrified Of Sharks

Aaron Rodgers high stepping it

We know Green Bay Packers quarterback Aaron Rodgers took part in Shark Week. That entailed jumping in the Pacific somewhere off of San Diego and swimming with sharks.

Rodgers said he did it to conquer one of his fears. He is terrified of sharks and heights.

There were three different sharks in the water when Rodgers went in. He got insanely close to a blue shark.

“Seriously. I was terrified,” Rodgers said. “I was just thinking about what the expert they brought in had told me. He said there’s three sharks in the water. There’s the blue, the white, and the mako. The mako, if it’s bigger than you, get out. If it’s not, stay in and keep your eyes on it at all times. Never turn your back to it. The white, you look at it straight in the eyes the entire time. The only way it’s gonna come near you is if you’re not looking at it. And the blue, he’s gonna come right up to you. When he comes up to you, he’s got a long nose. You just Miyagi that.”

“So this blue, he literally came up to me—spoiler alert—I put my hand on his head. I pushed him down to the right. Nicely, gently. But I was terrified. Honestly, I was blacked out. It just came up to me and all I was thinking was, Oh my god it’s actually happening. What do I do? Okay, boom. I just moved his head down to the right. But it was fun. I have a different appreciation for sharks now. I’m okay with ‘em.”

That doesn’t quite seem as innocent and easy as we expected. Stare this shark in the eyes, but never take your eye off this other one. And get the hell out of the water if he’s bigger than you.

We’re glad Rodgers is living the life of Riley, but can’t imagine the Packers loved the fact that he was swimming with something that could take a chunk out of him.

Maybe they’ll have to write a no-shark clause into that new contract we keep hearing about.

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Joseph is a fiction writer when he isn't doing this. In his spare time he likes to do manly things like drink beer and procreate.

5 Comments on "Aaron Rodgers: Terrified Of Sharks"

  1. Cheese

    Yeah, no thanks.

    As for Rodgers, I’m all for facing your fears and what not, but definitely not the best decision to get surrounded by three sharks while still under contract. If you want to pretend like you’re Louie Zamperini, do it after you’ve retired. Players want guaranteed contracts and then go out and do shit like this. SMFH…

    • Kato

      Wasn’t there some clause in Kellen Winslow’s contract that basically denied him bonus money because he got into a motorcycle accident and missed a good chunk of the season while with the browns?

      • Cheese

        That’s very possible. I think if fully guaranteed contracts become a thing, which it sounds like they will at least for select players (thank the idiot vikings for that), there needs to be some sort of clause that protects teams from stupid crap happening off the field.

  2. PF4L

    Jim had Pam bent over the desk at the office, and was hittin it from the back, when he gave her a Miyagi to the chin. It knocked her out, so he didn’t have to cuddle after.

    Google is a wonderful thing.

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