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Damarious Randall Breaks Record, Is Confused

Damarious Randall being confused is nothing new. Damarious Randall breaking a record is.

Randall sent a stupid tweet on Tuesday saying if the Cleveland Cavaliers won the NBA Finals, he’s buy everyone who retweeted him a jersey.

The statement has apparently been retweeted more than 800,000 times the last we heard. That’s a record for an NFL player. And why people keep track of stuff like this is unknown to us. Nothing better to do, apparently.

Randall? We’ll he’s very confused by the whole thing.

Randall said he thought he’d maybe get 100 retweets.

“I didn’t think people were going to actually view that as a serious tweet from me,” he said. “But obviously it got the whole world excited about it, and I mean now I’m actually excited about it.

“That just kind of goes to show that this Cleveland fan base is great. I’m actually excited about it ’cause just to know that the fan base is like this, I just really can’t imagine how it’s going to be once the Browns start winning a lot of games here.”

Haha… Browns winning a lot of games!

Here’s what I would like to know. Does everyone get to pick whose jersey they want or was this an offer for a Damarious Randall jersey only?

Randall should have clarified that it was only an offer for his jersey. Then 100 sounds about right, if he’s lucky. Of course, the Cavaliers aren’t going to win the Finals anyway, so all of this will be moot.

Mordecai Jones

Mordecai is a writer living in Los Angeles. He primarily writes screenplays, but also does crap like this because GREEN BAY PACKERS, baby!



  1. B Rad May 30, 2018

    I have him a retweet just to help him go broke. I’d love to Cleveland win to make him stick to his promise (or more likely show he’s all talk and no action).

    1. B Rad May 30, 2018


      1. KORNKOBB May 31, 2018

        “B Rad is rad!”

        1. KORNKOBB May 31, 2018

  2. KORNKOBB May 31, 2018

    I think it’s funny that he thinks most of these re-tweets are all coming from the Browns fan base. My guess would be that the Browns fan base accounts for 10% of the re-tweets. Packers fans who want to see him lose money accounts for 40%. And the remaining 50% are not Packers or Browns fans. They just want a free jersey!

  3. cz May 31, 2018

    randall was not a gute guy, glad he is gone.
    average player at best. never should have been drafted where he was