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Packers Won’t Be Wooing Any Free Agents This Weekend

People keep connecting the Green Bay Packers to now-free agent receiver Dez Bryant. If the Packers are indeed interested in Bryant, they’re not signing him this weekend.

Look at this crap.

Last time I checked, Spring was upon us. Except, apparently, in Wisconsin.

The weather is so bad, the Packers have closed down Lambeau Field today. So no Atrium visits, Pro Shop traffic or greasy food from 1919 Kitchen & Tap. If I lived in Green Bay — and thank god, I don’t — I wouldn’t be leaving the house today at all.

Lambeau is supposed to reopen for business tomorrow if the weather gets better. From what I hear, that’s not likely.

It would be funny, not funny if the weather actually thwarted the Packers from having a visit with Bryant. I’m sure as a Texas boy, he’s be real impressed with the whiteout in mid-April.

Mordecai Jones

Mordecai is a writer living in Los Angeles. He primarily writes screenplays, but also does crap like this because GREEN BAY PACKERS, baby!



  1. Bob April 14, 2018

    Crazy weather. Back in mid Feb. the temp was thirty degrees warmer on the North pole than here in the Midwest. Damn global warming. LOL

    1. Kato April 15, 2018

      Spoken like a true person that has no clue what global warming is

      1. Larry April 15, 2018

        It’s a scam where Al Gore paid off scientists to cook the data and then he went on to make millions off of it from low IQ gullible people……….

        1. Icebowl April 15, 2018

          Hmmm,i did not know that . must’ve been expensive paying off scientists worldwide

          1. PF4L April 15, 2018

            If we can change the climate of the universe, how come we cant prevent tornado’s, hurricanes, tsunamis and earthquakes?

            Because Mother Nature will do what she wants to do, that’s why.

  2. Howard April 15, 2018

    I don’t know if it is global warming or not, but if you have to shovel it can expend a lot of energy into the air. It appears no leafs on the trees? That can cause a real problem.

    I guess Murphy is probably as happy as a pig in shit. Maybe the sled hill can open. Let the players use it. Shit bring in some free agents and impress the hell out of them. Free sledding if you sign up. Forget about offering a discount for playing with Rodgers, or for a historic organization, or on a historic field. We expect discounts for the joy of using the sledding hill for free, or a 20% discount.

    1. PF4L April 15, 2018

      Packers at Lambeau wooing Graham looking out the window at the Sledding hill….

      Gutekunst: What do you think Jimmy, 30 mill for 3 years, 13 mill in the 1st year. You on board?
      Graham: I don’t know, Jimmy has to think about it and get back to ya.
      Gutenkunst: See that sledding hill? How about a free pass for all of next winter?
      Graham: Just for Jimmy, or Jimmy’s whole family?
      Gutenkunst: Well, i’ll have to go upstairs and ok it with Mark, but yea, the whole family!
      Graham: Where’s my agent at? Jimmy wants this.

      1. Howard April 16, 2018

        :-) .

  3. Cheese April 15, 2018

    So what are they gonna do with this giant eye sore the other 8-9 months out of the year? If they don’t use it for boxcar racing or turn it into a slip and slide I’m going to be pissed.