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Packers Maybe Still Run By Shitheels, Take Jaire Alexander

Listen, I just don’t know, so let’s let this be an open forum. Here’s one thing we can all agree on. The Green Bay Packers suck a donkey dick in the secondary. They have for years.

So at least they added someone to that donkey dick secondary. That guy is Louisville cornerback Jaire Alexander.

The Packers, after trading out of N0. 14 (down to No. 27), traded back up to No. 18 to select Alexander.

I will say this. General manager Brian Gutekunst has a pair of brass balls. And good for him.

Maybe the interest in Denzel Ward and Derwin James was all a smokescreen. Perhaps this guy knows how to play the game. Maybe he’s new school and is ready to mess with these old school dumbasses. And, okay, maybe Alexander was the target all along.

Those things would add up 100 percent.

So what is the price?

Nothing we like.

It starts with No. 27, which the Packers just acquired from the Saints, along with picks in the third round (76) and sixth round (186). The Seahawks sent back pick number 248 along with No. 18.

We’ll get down to the breakdown on the trade chart in a bit.

However, the Packers’ are plus-one in the 2019 first-round pick department. That means jack shit right now, which also suggests that Gutekunst isn’t necessarily on a one-year plan. This isn’t a Super Bowl year. Everything points to a two-year plan.

I don’t like that and I would expect you don’t either. The Packers should win the Super Bowl every damn year.

But hell, I guess, like Aaron Rodgers, we’ll just have to trust the process.

As for Alexander, I like him. I don’t like that he played at Louisville — maybe Brian Brohm flashbacks — and I don’t like his stature. Supposedly, the Packers have height and weight requirements for cornerbacks now. I can tell you this — 5’10” doesn’t work, 196 is close and probably good enough.

That said, I will take a 4.38 40. Robby can give you breakdown and percentiles on his other measurables.

Maybe, could be, a Denzel Ward at a later pick. Similar size. Similar athleticism.

Mordecai Jones

Mordecai is a writer living in Los Angeles. He primarily writes screenplays, but also does crap like this because GREEN BAY PACKERS, baby!



  1. Kato April 26, 2018

    Maybe this guy is good. Maybe. If he is, can he stay out of the trainers room? He didn’t last year

    1. PF4L April 26, 2018

      Dude, that’s funny, but that’s just not funny. Can you imagine, another 1st round corner that ………omg, i can’t even type, anymore, goodnight.

      1. Kato April 26, 2018

        Just blackout. Makes everything feel better

      2. Kato April 26, 2018

        Just stay tuned. They will take another corner next round. It’s gonna be fucking great. Anyone got any everclear to mix with the kool aid?

        1. Skinny April 26, 2018

          Saints will shit the bed. That will be a top 10 pick next year. Mark it down. Gute will also use that one on Rodgers future replacement.

        2. Empacador April 27, 2018

          CB it was! Thread over!

  2. PF4L April 26, 2018

    Lol, i love you man!!….Did you think the Packers are on a one year plan to go to the Super Bowl? One free agency, one draft….Super Bowl Bound!! :)

    I don’t know what Monty’s paying you, but i’m guessing based on your expertise, it’s a Kings ransom. Which leads me to offer you up a bridge for sale that i recently acquired, you may have heard of it…The Pearl Bridge. I am offering it for sale to you at the bargain price of $10,000.00. Normally i wouldn’t sell it so cheap, but i dig your style, my brother. If you act now, i’ll even include a meet and greet with the Easter Bunny, the real…Easter Bunny.

    Got Paypal?

  3. Empacador April 26, 2018

    A 5’10” CB. Wonder what his pad level is like. Hopefully Pettine can do something with this kid but in light of all the Packer fuck-ups regarding defensive players the last 7 years, and there have been so many mistakes in drafting/re-signing defensive players as we all know, this doesn’t warm my heart at all. That mid 20s pick from the Saints next year will probably make the Packers feel right at home, reaching for prospects no doubt.

  4. Mike Ditka's Mom April 26, 2018

    “However, the Packers’ are plus-one in the 2019 first-round pick department. That means jack shit right now”

    You people never learn. Please commence with the fire Gute chants.

    Hehehehehehehehe. This is gonna be fun!

  5. Skinny April 26, 2018

    I was pissed at the initial trade down. Then i calmed down when we moved back up. But god dammit we had James, Davenport and Edmunds all on the board. I would have went Edmunds had we stayed. The more i thought of James it didn’t make any sense because we already have Josh Jones to play that roll and no way in hell the Pack are giving up on him as a second rounder in year two.

    1. tupac April 27, 2018

      We play 3 safety at the same time often enough.

  6. Deepsky April 26, 2018

    Packers needed a corner really bad and this guy is fast. I don’t mind the pick.

    If Bree’s retires at the end of next season, and he almost did this off season, that Saints next year pick could be a top 5 pick.

    1. Deepsky April 26, 2018

      Never mind about Brees comment. It’s late.

  7. V April 26, 2018

    The Packers will not win another Superbowl with Aaron. You need elite playmakers who actually play…Jaire is a nice prospect in RD2 due to injuries…you had two or three multi year Pro Bowlers fall in your lap and you get gun shy? What a joke.

    1. Cheese April 27, 2018

      I didn’t know college players could make the pro bowl before ever playing a snap in the NFL. Guess I learned something new today.

  8. Adam April 26, 2018

    Are you fucking serious? We essentially traded a 3rd round pick for a an extra FIRST ROUND pick next year, and got a CB prospect we desperately need. How in the world could you be upset at that?

    1. Deepsky April 27, 2018

      I agree, getting that first round pick is huge. Drew Brees will turn 40 late in the season next year and the Saints had a losing record 3 out of the last 4 years. That Saints pick could easily our first pick next year.

      Unlike Derwin James, the true corner they got is very fast and can actually cover guys.

      1. tupac April 27, 2018

        Why not both tho. Take James, and then sacrifice that same 3rd to move up and grab Hughes.

        1. Kato April 27, 2018

          Dude. They also gave up #27 That they got in the deal to trade down. They didn’t just give up a 3rd round pick to move to 18

    2. Kato April 27, 2018

      I see this move as a bit of a gamble. We are counting on HHCD to rebound and Josh Jones to not be terrible. They clearly could have upgraded that position. There will be some good corner prospects that will be available at their pick in the second round. If the Saints are a playoff team this year, I am not sure it is worth gaining a bottom of the first round pick. If the Saints are mediocre to bad, which is possible, this may end up being a brilliant maneuver, particularly if Alexander can be a good number 1 or 2 corner.

  9. MM²SUCK April 26, 2018

    As I saw on another site, Ted Thompson was in the “War Room” at Gutekunst’s request . . . Well this whole clusterfuck has TT’s (The Frugal GM) hand prints all over this bed shitting. So let me get this straight; an injured, SHORT CB to play against very tall WR’s with much longer reaches? Sounds about right! Only one pick tomorrow? That sounds about right! It appears that the brain trust at 1265 have found their Ted Thompson protégé! Fuck these fucking fucks.

    1. Kato April 27, 2018

      I wouldn’t be surprised if the packers moved back up into the third round.

  10. Adam April 26, 2018

    Holy shit some of you guys are fucking insufferable.

  11. MM²SUCK April 26, 2018

    No, just being REALISTIC . . . Now go back and play with Eve . . .

    1. Icebowl April 27, 2018

      Ha Ha (not as in HHCD) THAT was funny MM^2

      1. MM²SUCK April 27, 2018

        Thanks ICEBOWL!

  12. cz April 26, 2018

    its not saying much, but J Alexander will soon be our best CB,and therefore, it was a good pick.
    Great Pick actually. A win for saints as well

  13. TyKo Steamboat April 26, 2018

    Packers robbed the Saints & made a deal that was easy with the draft desperate SeaCocks. We got a 1 in next years draft, a 5th & 7th this year & only sacrificed a 3rd & moved-down 4 spots to get our guy. Good overall, I suppose. Lots of action. Packers like Alexander, I like the moves after the smoke clears

  14. Kato April 27, 2018

    Two years in a row picking an injured CB? I don’t really care for this strategy. Not sure why they passed on James. I can kind of see the preference over Marcus Davenport, because it sounds like he is going to need development and isn’t as ready to play as Alexander is. This move seems to signal that the Trevor Davis experiment might be over, as I would not be surprised to see return duties handed over to Alexander.

    I wonder if Davon House makes the team? Lenzy Pipkins spot is also in trouble.

    1. Kato April 27, 2018

      Quentin Rollins is as good as gone in my book.

      1. Howard April 27, 2018

        Agree on Rollins. I would put Hawkins or Brown on the chopping block before Pipkins. The contract for House looks like he could be cut. Depends on if any of the UDFA corners step up. Pipkins is the one I think fits with Pettine and looked the best at the end of the year when provided some snaps.

        Jaire is almost a clone of shields. A little slower straight line, slightly heavier, but more lateral quickness. Many after the fact thought Hayward was a great corner. Hayward didn’t have great speed, but had great lateral quickness. Jaire equals Hayward’s lateral quickness and blows Hayward away on straight line speed.

        I prefer taller corners, but Jaire can play corner. I would excpect to see Jaire at a minimum in the slot to start.

  15. Hinder April 27, 2018

    Every comment about this guy starts with the words, “Ifhe can stay healthy…..”. Great, Gutey channeled Uncle Ted and got another injury-prone player, just like Rollins and Randall and King and Biegel and Cobb and etc. etc.

  16. Bob April 27, 2018

    We may have an extra #1 pick in the 2019 draft but after tonight I would bet that Gute trades to get another pick in round two or to move up. To much of a risk that the pick from the Saints could very possibly be one of the last four in next years draft.

    1. Larry April 27, 2018

      The Saints actually have a good team and they can run the ball which is huge in the NFL. Their 1st rd pick next season will definitely be in the bottom 6. This trade was much ado about nothing……