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Green Bay Packers Are Run By Shitheels

You want my commentary on the Green Bay Packers’ handling of the first round of the 2018 NFL Draft?

Even if you don’t, here it is.


There was Derwin James. Just sitting there. You supposedly loved the guy and what’s not to love? Ha Ha Clinton-Dix is that guy’s little sister.

Couldn’t hold his jock strap with two hands.

But hell, the New Orleans Saints gave up their first-round pick, their fifth-round pick and a 2019 first-round pick to select Marcus Davenport, who many people thought was going to the Packers. That was all to move up to No. 14.

Also, Derwin James was still on the board.

This trade will be judged on two things.

James’ pro career, whatever schlub the Packers’ pick at No. 27 and then whatever schlub they pick at No. 30 next year.

Hey, at least Brian Gutekunst is unpredictable! At least he’s not Uncle Ted!

I mean, fuck taking a game-changing defensive back! Hell, the Packers can’t get any worse in the secondary, can they?

So, just delightful.

There is no way the Packers will ever improve or commit to improving their secondary. Might as well bring back Mark Lee, who I used to call Toast since he got burned so goddamned often.

Mark, what are you up to these days? The Packers have a spot for you in their secondary!

Mordecai Jones

Mordecai is a writer living in Los Angeles. He primarily writes screenplays, but also does crap like this because GREEN BAY PACKERS, baby!



  1. Ferris April 26, 2018

    So stupid….So Hayward is now an All Pro and now James is on the Chargers too. The Chargers need to send some kind of thank you note to Green Bay, and I’d like to intercept it and shove it up the “New” GM’s ass. Same “Old Ted” shit different year.

    1. Ferris April 26, 2018

      OK I take some of it back. It looks like he had a plan to take Alexander all along and got a 1st next year out of it. That’s what he will say in the press conference anyway…..”We got our guy” At least he’s a true corner and has speed and fills a huge need.

  2. Bob April 26, 2018

    Looks like the Gute wants to have another loosing year this year so he can get in the top ten on draft day 2019 so he can trade for more draft picks. They don’t want Rodgers to get another ring.

  3. Kato April 26, 2018

    These moves make no sense. I would have been fine with Davenport. My guess is Harold Landry

  4. Kato April 26, 2018

    I don’t like this pick.

  5. Adam April 26, 2018

    You guys kidding me??? We secure two first round picks next year AND address the CB position with a stud this year!?

    Gute just finessed the fuck out of New Orleans.

  6. Carl DeLuca April 26, 2018

    Sure bitched a little early…

  7. Bob April 26, 2018

    Another pick with injuries to hand and leg. Should fit right in.

  8. Skinny April 26, 2018

    I’m fine with the pick i just hope this kid is healthy. Hes got serious swag that’s for sure. Kid was styling the entire way out of the draft room. I like that.

  9. V April 26, 2018

    Three elite defensive prospects and you move back!?
    Ha ha and Josh Jones over Derwin? Pfft
    Jake Ryan or Tremaine Edmunds? Pfft
    Perry/Matthews (frequent injuries) and Vince Biegel/ Kyler Fackrell and you let Marcus Davenport slip by? Pfft.

  10. cz April 26, 2018

    Gute’s offseason moves have now upgraded:
    CB Alexander a true CB over Randall
    D-Line (Wilkerson)
    QB Kizer over Hundley (presumeably)
    TE Graham over Bennett (who walked)

    Biggest needs are O-Line and WR

    Packers would need to cut ties with underperformers at LB / edge rusher for that need to trump need at O-line or WR.

    Alexander is a playmaker…but to succeed, they must either get at qb faster or… get better on o to keep d off the field.

    Guard or Tackle or TE of future to learn from or back up Graham would be good’ as Graham may get injured, in which case, we got nuttin

    1. r.duke April 27, 2018

      WR or a speed [email protected] #2….try to recoup the third RD pick for the same needs. Use the fours on OT, TEs ….pick up another CB in the fifth and a Center. Bulaga may take the next hit…