Lions’ Coach Matt Patricia No Longer Looks Like a Bum

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Matt Patricia

The Detroit Lions finally got to introduce their new head coach on Wednesday. He is former New England Patriots’ defensive coordinator Matt Patricia.

If you watched the Super Bowl or any Patriots game, you’ve seen Patricia. He’s the guy who looks like a bum. Or maybe your garbageman. Out-of-control bushy beard, long hair, backwards hat.

The most interesting development with that was Patricia’s new look. Apparently, he’s ditched the garbageman look for the look of an actual NFL head coach.

Oh yeah, and Patricia always has a pencil tucked behind his ear. Kind of like Mike McCarthy always has a marker tucked behind his. He’ll fit in swell in the division.

Hopefully, Patricia can continue the Lions’ long losing tradition.


About The Author

Mordecai is a writer living in Los Angeles. He primarily writes screenplays, but also does crap like this because GREEN BAY PACKERS, baby!

5 Comments on "Lions’ Coach Matt Patricia No Longer Looks Like a Bum"

    • Cheese

      Thought the same thing. Less impressive beard, chick hair, and a hippie headband.

      It’d be funny to see a Lions article titled-
      “Gossip blogger Mordecai still looks like a bum.”

  1. Mordecai is raising his standards. Patricia just looked like a bum and a garbageman to Mordecai. That is a hell of a lot better than calling TJ Lang a Motherfucker.

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