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Lions’ Coach Matt Patricia No Longer Looks Like a Bum

The Detroit Lions finally got to introduce their new head coach on Wednesday. He is former New England Patriots’ defensive coordinator Matt Patricia.

If you watched the Super Bowl or any Patriots game, you’ve seen Patricia. He’s the guy who looks like a bum. Or maybe your garbageman. Out-of-control bushy beard, long hair, backwards hat.

The most interesting development with that was Patricia’s new look. Apparently, he’s ditched the garbageman look for the look of an actual NFL head coach.

Oh yeah, and Patricia always has a pencil tucked behind his ear. Kind of like Mike McCarthy always has a marker tucked behind his. He’ll fit in swell in the division.

Hopefully, Patricia can continue the Lions’ long losing tradition.

Mordecai Jones

Mordecai is a writer living in Los Angeles. He primarily writes screenplays, but also does crap like this because GREEN BAY PACKERS, baby!



  1. CZ Stevens February 7, 2018

    interesting article title by the writer whose appearance in their profile photo is the same … except a headband instead of a hat on backwards. No offense.


    1. Cheese February 7, 2018

      Thought the same thing. Less impressive beard, chick hair, and a hippie headband.

      It’d be funny to see a Lions article titled-
      “Gossip blogger Mordecai still looks like a bum.”

  2. Howard February 7, 2018

    Mordecai is raising his standards. Patricia just looked like a bum and a garbageman to Mordecai. That is a hell of a lot better than calling TJ Lang a Motherfucker.

    1. Evchrny February 8, 2018

      Aside from looking like one Mordecai Jones IS a bum. And not much of a writer.