Aaron Rodgers is Supposedly Dating Danica Patrick

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Danica Patrick

Hey, let’s take a break from the madness for a moment, huh? It’s officially the offseason for the Green Bay Packers and you know what that means. It means all kinds of gossip about Aaron Rodgers!

Like this right here. Rodgers is supposedly dating race car driver Danica Patrick.

From TO.

Aaron Rodgers and Danica Patrick were spotted at Aaron’s favorite restaurant in Green Bay (Chives) after Christmas. An onlooker said that Danica and Aaron were all over each other, kissing and couldn’t seem to keep their hands off each other. Danica didn’t waste anytime moving on from Ricky Stenhouse. This is on the extreme down low, as they both want to keep this quiet for now. It’s early but they are really hitting it off.

What happened to that mousy-looking soccer chick he was supposedly with before the season?

Just going to swing the big dick around and see what vagina it falls into for a while, huh? Just as long as you don’t break a collarbone doing so…

Danica Patrick in bed

About The Author

Mordecai is a writer living in Los Angeles. He primarily writes screenplays, but also does crap like this because GREEN BAY PACKERS, baby!

17 Comments on "Aaron Rodgers is Supposedly Dating Danica Patrick"

  1. PF4L

    Who gives a flying fuck you L.A. pussy…..

    When i calm down and i’m able to think straight, i’m going to vent and get way out of fucking line over the developments of the last 24 hours.

    As a matter of fact, i’m going to apologize in advance for the crude, rude, and raw comments i’m going to make in the next day or 2.

  2. Bobby D

    Would only give a rat’s ass if Danica was speeding in her race car down Lombardi Ave and accidently ran over McMoby!

  3. KILLER

    Let’s see here:

    They want to keep it “… extreme down low, as they both want to keep this quiet for now” so they “were all over each other, kissing and couldn’t seem to keep their hands off each other” at a public restaurant! Makes sense, huh?

    Anyone else seeing through this?

    A reputed gay man keeping it on the down low by making out with a female celebrity in a public setting? A reputed gay man hooked up with a lady who has dealt with considerable lesbian rumors herself?

    I sense a two-beards-for-the-price-of-one deal. Ask me that mousy soccer girl is also a lesbian but the two of them could not come to an equitable financial understanding for beard status.

    And, before you say it, I don’t care or mind if Aaron is gay. More chicks for the rest of us I say. I just don’t like the lies and deception. He ought to come out. Do some good in the world.

  4. Mitch Anthony

    Oh gawd, it is that time of year again. The dreaded off season where we parrot articles from TMZ Sports. Two things that should not be mentioned in the same sentence, TMZ, and sports. A gossip site that cares more about who bangs whom, what they wear when they go out on the town, and how they stand on the issue of trannies in the bathroom at a sports venue. That’s their world of sports. With all of what is going on with this team can we just ignore this….please.

    But if we must, might I suggest having Rob Born do the article. I really like Rob’s articles. I like the analysis he puts into them. I can envision Rob charting out the measurables and metrics on a host of female arm-candy. A weighted criteria index done in spread sheet fashion where we can see how they all score and where the real potential lies.

    I’ll give Patrick this, she’s in better shape than most. She had to work out and condition herself for the rigors of being a marketing vehicle/race car driver. So her athletic measures would chart rather high, but maybe not as high as a soccer player. They run their asses off in soccer. But better than an actress who Instagrams photos doing cross-fit occasionally. Find something to replace the 40 time and the three cone and we might be onto something interesting if we must really discuss this nonsense.

    • KILLER

      Brilliant! You made me laugh hard a couple times. Thank you!

      I like the alternate reality Rob Born doing this style of article. Very funny.

      But you really got me laughing hard with that perfectly keen line “…rigors f being a marketing vehicle/race car driver.” Yeah, I think race car driver really does take a, err – umm, back seat to being a marketing vehicle in her case.

      Aaron and Danica, in an alternate universe, might actually be a pretty good match — both more about the endorsements than their actual sport.

  5. NarrowPath

    Aaron needs to get out of this relationship fast. If Danica will cheat on Ricky Stenhouse at the drop of a hat, she has a high chance of doing it again on Aaron.

    Once a cheater, always a cheater. Lord knows we do not need Aaron distracted again this year.

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