There’s Some Weird Packers’ Stuff You Can Buy

The Green Bay Packers are one of the best examples of a successful NFL franchise. They’re also one of the best examples of an organization that will monetize just about any and everything.

The Packers are ranked as the 17th most valuable sports team in the world at $1.09 billion. That’s in large part to the organization’s commercial acumen. Tickets and television deals account for much of the Packers’ revenue, but retail sales are where they really excel. Most sports team sell jerseys, footballs, helmets, etc., but the Packers go the extra yard. They make money from every possible way: on their website you can buy branded ties, bottle openers, credit card wallets and even watches.

Quirky Merchandise

Poker Table: Touchdowns and a Royal Flush don’t normally go hand-in-hand, unless of course you’re a Packers fan. For just a few hundred dollars, a branded poker table (or pool table or foosball table) could be yours! You can picture Aaron Rodgers trying out his poker face at this table, the question is how good would he be? One thing is for sure, he’d certainly be better than this these athletes that wouldn’t have a clue what they were doing around a poker table!

Money Clip: If you don’t have a wallet then of course you’re going to need a money clip. And why not get one emblazoned with the logo of your favorite NFL franchise? Makes total sense. For just $31.95 you can get your very own Green Bay Packers money clip. If you’ve got enough money to need a clip then you probably don’t mind paying that much for a money clip anyway. Or you can just carry one $20 and stuff a bunch of ones behind it so you look like a baller.

Levi’s Denim Trucker Jacket: I love that this is called a trucker jacket. Because you see so many truckers wearing denim jackets with NFL logos on them. I mean, like every time I’m at a truck stop, I see like 20 of them! Why not add a big, garish ‘G’ to the chest? Well for the handy price of $107.99 or thereabouts you can do just that. Show off your love for the Packers and your disdain for fashion at the same time.

The Women’s Believer Bow Boot: These boots provide plenty of color, flair and comfort. The Packers logo is on both the front and the back of the boot, leaving people with no doubt who your team is. One of those logos has sequins! Sequins will never go out of style. Never! Be honest. Your aunt Marge already has a pair of these doesn’t she? I bet she wears them every day.

16-piece flatware set: Make sure your guests know where your loyalties lie with this flatware set. It includes everything that is needed for a feast and features the Packers logo on the handles. Only for special occasions. Hell, you can get it for under $40. So also perfect for eating Top Ramen.

Green Bay Packers Strong Arms: You go ahead and explain these things to me. Who would wear these? Are they leftovers from the sleeves James Jones cut off his mock turtlenecks? I don’t think so. Wouldn’t you just buy a long-sleeve shirt instead of just the sleeves that come with that shirt? Surely, these are huge sellers. Oh, wait, they’re currently on clearance.

Pet cheerleader outfit: Hey, your dog already hates you, why not dress her up as a cheerleader? Everyone will think it’s just so adorable! You can get these frickin’ things at Petco. Thanks, Petco.

This level of commercialism has helped to make the Green Bay Packers into the financial behemoth that they are today.

Taste be damned.