The season hasn’t started yet, so that means Green Bay Packers general manager Ted Thompson is still forced to speak to the media. Once the season begins, he isn’t and he doesn’t.
Of course, Ted Thompson speaking engagements are about as enlightening as speaking to a three-year-old about the benefits of the cover-2.
Ted’s mouth moves, but nothing worthwhile ever comes out. We’ve surmised this could possibly be for three reasons.
- Ted Thompson somehow has negative personality
- Ted Thompson is a puppet with Mark Murphy’s hand up his ass and Mark Murphy isn’t really a very good ventriloquist.
- Ted Thompson is actually a robot programmed by Bill Belichick, good enough to make the Packers competitive, but specifically constructed to stay out of the Patriots’ way.
So was there anything remotely interesting uttered by Big Ted today?
Only that he has no idea when he’s going to retire, which of course, we are overjoyed about.
“I don’t constantly evaluate it, and I don’t know,” Thompson said. “We’ll see. Stay tuned.”
Informative.
Enthralling.
Murphy has publicly stated, that despite his obviously deteriorating mental capacity, Thompson will remain Packers GM as long as he wants.
And that’s just good business!