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Johnny Jolly Getting Back to Being Johnny Jolly

We’ve always loved Johnny Jolly, but Johnny Jolly kind of has a problem, it seems.

Jolly was arrested on drug charges for the fifth time, this month. As you will probably recall, Jolly’s drug of choice was always codeine. This is something that goes into a drink mixture called the Purple Drank.

It’s surely classy shit, as you might deem from the name.

This time, Jolly was nabbed with 28 grams of hydrocodone. He was nabbed within 1,000 feet of a school. He was charged with felony possession with intent to deliver a controlled substance in a drug-free zone.

I mean, isn’t every place a drug free zone when it comes to drugs that are illegal?

My place is a drug-free zone. Not in terms of having drugs. Just in terms of them being illegal. I don’t live in a school.

So just a quick recap here. Jolly was suspended by the NFL indefinitely in 2010. In 2011, he went to prison. In 2012, he got out, somehow go reinstated and then played the 2013 season for the Green Bay Packers.

The Packers didn’t re-sign Jolly after that year, despite his being a pretty solid addition to the team. He’s been out of the league since.

And obviously has too much time on his hands.

But there’s an excuse this time!

“He has – and he told the police – a very ill grandmother and the medication was his grandmother’s medication,”defense attorney Carl Moore said.

Yeah, bro.


Mordecai Jones

Mordecai is a writer living in Los Angeles. He primarily writes screenplays, but also does crap like this because GREEN BAY PACKERS, baby!



  1. Kato August 24, 2017

    He needs help. Drug addiction is no joke. It is surprising he hasn’t moved on to heroin. I really hope he gets the help that he needs, because I really don’t think he is a bad guy, and short of murder, rape, pedophilia, and stuff like that, I will always hope for the best for former packers.

  2. Bobby D August 24, 2017

    One of the side affects of codeine is a blank expression, inability to communicate, glassy eyes, confusion, inability to make logical decisions and sudden urges to get tea bagged.
    Yes that’s right, unfortunately our GM also has been dranked out for years now!!

  3. Ferris August 24, 2017

    It’s only 28 pills. He just should have said they were Bert Favre’s. He used to pop that many in a day, he never got arrested.