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Drunkest City In America, Eh?

This doesn’t really have anything to do with the Green Bay Packers, except sure it does. The drunkest city in America? That would be Green Bay, Wisconsin.

This according to a study released last week.

Much to the surprise of no one, Wisconsin dominated the list.

1. Green Bay, Wis.
2. Eau Claire, Wis.
3. Appleton, Wis.
4. Madison, Wis.
5. Fargo, N.D.
6. Oshkosh-Neenah, Wis.
7. Missoula, Mont.
8. Grand Forks, N.D.
9. Wausau, Wis.
10. La Crosse-Onalaska, Wis.
11. Mankato-North Mankato, Minn.
12. Fond du Lac, Wis.
13. Iowa City, Iowa
14. Dubuque, Iowa
15. Sheboygan, Wis.
16. Watertown-Fort Drum, N.Y.
17. Lincoln, Neb.
18. Fairbanks, Alaska
19. Ames, Iowa
20. Milwaukee-Waukesha-West Allis, Wis.

Here are some fun facts about Green Bay’s drinking problem.

  • Pct. adults drinking to excess: 26.5%
  • Pct. driving deaths involving alcohol: 50.5%
  • Est. number of bars: 138
  • Median household income: $54,847

The excessive drinking rate among adults in Green Bay is the highest of any metro area in the country. Nearly 27% of adults report they heavy or binge drinking in the last 30 days, well above the 18% excessive drinking rate nationwide. The Green Bay metro area is one of only five nationwide where over half of all deadly car accidents involve alcohol. In comparison, 30% of driving deaths nationwide involve alcohol.

You’re doing fine work, Green Bay.

If you look at that list — and it seems no one else has bothered to point this out — all of those towns have one thing in common.

It’s frickin’ freezing cold most of the year. I wouldn’t say there are a lot of cultural options either.

So tell me, what are you supposed to do other than drink?

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Joseph Bonham

Joseph is a fiction writer when he isn't doing this. In his spare time he likes to do manly things like drink beer and procreate.

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9 Comments

  1. Icebowler May 28, 2017

    Roll Out the Barrel, and another barrel, and another…throw in a few
    Schnapps boilermakers and you’re just about there.

  2. NachoDan May 28, 2017

    I’m drunk right now!!!!!!!

  3. KILLER May 29, 2017

    I’m just shocked. Appalled. Yet… everything seems to make sense now. It all fits.

    1. Savage57 May 30, 2017

      Who read the article to you?

      1. PF4L May 30, 2017

        Probably someone from her Trailer Park.

  4. Phillthy May 29, 2017

    Smoke

  5. Savage57 May 30, 2017

    Cheers. I’ll drink to that.

  6. Deepsky May 30, 2017

    Having lived in 3 of those Wisconsin cities on the list, I would say La Crosse is by far more drunk than Green Bay. Students can walk to the bars in La Crosse, so drunk driving problems are far lower and I bet they didn’t appear as ‘adults’ on the list for some reason.

    1. PF4L May 30, 2017

      Very good point.

      There are too many variables to put legitimacy into this. They use the # of bars, tickets issued, visitors etc. Well go figure, most of those places are College Cities. Then you add in a small NFL town. Think there are many drunk driving tickets issued on game weeks from people who don’t even live in Green Bay?

      I file this under who GAF, rock on Green Bay.