Well, surprise, surprise.
We have long known that the Green Bay Packers — Ted Thompson’s Green Bay Packers — low-ball the hell out of everyone in contract negotiations.
Frankly, we have long assumed that to be the Packers’ way because, well, you will take less money to play for the Packers because of the great privilege it is to play for the Packers!
Right?
Right.
Not all players agree with the mentality, of course. And once in a while, the Packers break tradition, panic and pay a player more than they’re worth.
Love ya buddy, but Randall Cobb…
So today we finally got the long-awaited diatribe on Russ Ball, the Packers’ one and only contract negotiator. While it was quick to point out the above — that he’s a low-baller — the piece also overwhelmingly went out of the way — possibly unnaturally — to point out what a great guy Ball is.
In other words, he’ll cheapen your client, but boy, at least he remembers where your boy goes to college.
And that’s the sign of a great guy!
In what world, I’m not sure. Maybe Michael Cohen’s world.
He’s the Journal-Sentinel writer who was intimidated by someone on the Packers’ staff for writing a negative article (about Letroy Guion) at one time. And then, as we learned, didn’t have a pair of nuts to recover from that, stand up for himself or anyone else.
So I ask you this.
Forget about the vaginal nature of Mike Cohen. What are any frickin’ agents going to say about Russ Ball?
They only HAVE TO DEAL WITH HIM EVERY YEAR.
How about this: “Russ Ball is low-balling prick! Can’t stand him!”
Or this: “Russ Ball is Ted Thompson’s lap dog! They’re gonna let that guy run the franchise? Hahahaha!”
Or maybe this: “No one will sign there, unless they have no other choice. Russ Ball low balls everyone.”
Hey, what do I know?
Well, other than the fact that the Packers always low ball players, at least when Russ Ball is doing the negotiating.
Russ Ball always low balls everyone.
Good for Russ Ball! You are an amazing contract negotiator! One that no one else in Green Bay will ever question, except for us, of course.
For anyone to present Russ Ball, let’s call him what he is — the low baller, or the Low Baller — otherwise, and then to dress it up as “everyone loves this guy”…
Well, that just makes me laugh.
Whose cock are you sucking, Michael Cohen?