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Confirmed: Packers Always Low-Ball Everyone

Well, surprise, surprise.

We have long known that the Green Bay Packers — Ted Thompson’s Green Bay Packers — low-ball the hell out of everyone in contract negotiations.

Frankly, we have long assumed that to be the Packers’ way because, well, you will take less money to play for the Packers because of the great privilege it is to play for the Packers!



Not all players agree with the mentality, of course. And once in a while, the Packers break tradition, panic and pay a player more than they’re worth.

Love ya buddy, but Randall Cobb…

So today we finally got the long-awaited diatribe on Russ Ball, the Packers’ one and only contract negotiator. While it was quick to point out the above — that he’s a low-baller — the piece also overwhelmingly went out of the way — possibly unnaturally — to point out what a great guy Ball is.

In other words, he’ll cheapen your client, but boy, at least he remembers where your boy goes to college.

And that’s the sign of a great guy!

In what world, I’m not sure. Maybe Michael Cohen’s world.

He’s the Journal-Sentinel writer who was intimidated by someone on the Packers’ staff for writing a negative article (about Letroy Guion) at one time. And then, as we learned, didn’t have a pair of nuts to recover from that, stand up for himself or anyone else.

So I ask you this.

Forget about the vaginal nature of Mike Cohen. What are any frickin’ agents going to say about Russ Ball?


How about this: “Russ Ball is low-balling prick! Can’t stand him!”

Or this: “Russ Ball is Ted Thompson’s lap dog! They’re gonna let that guy run the franchise? Hahahaha!”

Or maybe this: “No one will sign there, unless they have no other choice. Russ Ball low balls everyone.”

Hey, what do I know?

Well, other than the fact that the Packers always low ball players, at least when Russ Ball is doing the negotiating.

Russ Ball always low balls everyone.

Good for Russ Ball! You are an amazing contract negotiator! One that no one else in Green Bay will ever question, except for us, of course.

For anyone to present Russ Ball, let’s call him what he is — the low baller, or the Low Baller — otherwise, and then to dress it up as “everyone loves this guy”…

Well, that just makes me laugh.

Whose cock are you sucking, Michael Cohen?

Mordecai Jones

Mordecai is a writer living in Los Angeles. He primarily writes screenplays, but also does crap like this because GREEN BAY PACKERS, baby!



  1. Nick Perry May 30, 2017

    There’s a reason the Packers don’t hardly have any dead cap dollars and they always are able to carry over about $8 to $12 million, TT and RB penny pinching ways. Sometimes I agree with it but the contract offered to TJ Lang was a joke!!! It was said it angered other veterans in the Packers locker room. Well OBVIOUSLY!!! Thompson and Ball have been doing it for years. My biggest hope is Thompson is out of Green Bay after this year in time for the Packers to change the perception of some veterans out there who might want to come to GB and get a ring. They KNOW if they come here now they’ll get a crap low-balled out of them if they even get a offer. Time to retire Ted, and bring Ball with you.

    1. Packers fan May 31, 2017

      Teds contract is up after the 2018 NFL draft. Plus in his interviews (like the one after this years draft), he is showing his age. He was asked this year how long he’d continue drafting and he said “I don’t know, how do I look?”. Well the way I see it is that his time with the Packers is almost coming to an end. Hopefully Eliot Wolf is like his dad, when he went and got veterans to help the Packers reach 2 SBs. If he is like his dad, Rodgers may not retire with one ring after all.

  2. Kato May 30, 2017

    He low balls everyone. Except for Cobb and Perry. And Morgan Burnett at the time? Look, I rip on the front office a lot. They make mistakes. A lot of front offices make mistakes, overpay people, let people walk for too cheap, ect. Sometimes it works out, sometimes it doesn’t. I would say overall, the Burnett move worked out. Cobb is grossly overpaid. And fuck Brad Jones forever. Perry, remains to be seen, but probably overpaid. I will give the packers credit, they largely avoided the collossal fuckups that could have easily nosebombed the team.

  3. Packers Brasil May 30, 2017

    You guys are pAtetic! Shame on You!