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Packers Host Seahawks In Week 1

We called the Green Bay Packers playing at the Atlanta Falcons in week 1. We were wrong.

The Packers will get their old non-divisional nemesis, the Seattle Seahawks in week 1 of the 2017 season. And that game is at home.

That’s quite a rousing way to open the slate.

We all know what role the Seahawks have played in the Packers’ recent demise. Plus, you have two teams with a huge fanbase and name recognition, who are successful (recent for Seattle, all-time for the Packers).

Yeah, I just pointed that out.

Marinate on it for a while. The Seahawks weren’t shit until very recently.

The game will mark the return of Eddie Lacy, who will probably plow through the shitty Packers’ defense for 200-plus yards.

And that will be great. We’ll be super intrigued to hear if Fat Mike calls Lacy fat after that game.

You know what would be even greater?

If the Packers traded for Richard Sherman and then THIS was the week 1 showcase game. It’s going to be the showcase game anyway, but wouldn’t that make it so much more fun?

Of course, Big Ted ain’t into fun, unless it involves a 12-year-old Thai boy and a cucumber.

Mordecai Jones

Mordecai is a writer living in Los Angeles. He primarily writes screenplays, but also does crap like this because GREEN BAY PACKERS, baby!



  1. GLB April 21, 2017

    “We were wrong.”

    NFL usually opens new stadiums in week 2.

  2. Packers fan April 21, 2017

    SInce it’s in Lambeau, GB will win. That 38-10 rout shows.