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God’s Gifts Is Now Property of the Minnesota Vikings

You probably don’t remember Andrew Quarless AKA God’s Gifts for anything he did on the football field. You probably remember him for waving a gun around like he was Walter Sobchak.

Or maybe for his dumbass arm tattoos that read Gods Gift, the very reason we all refer to him only as God’s Gifts.

For reasons unbeknownst to us, former Virginia Tech tight end Bucky Hodges has the exact same stupid tattoos in the exact same stupid place.

Bucky Hodges God's Gift tattoo

The Minnesota Vikings must have been confused by this. We all know they’re all over ex-Packers as soon as Green Bay throws any player on the scrap heap.

Surely, the Vikings must think they’re getting the greatness that was God’s Gifts or at least a reasonable facsimile. They chose Hodges in the sixth round on Saturday.

Let’s hope the God’s Gifts II era in Minnesota isn’t as successful as the God’s Gifts era was in Green Bay.

Mordecai Jones

Mordecai is a writer living in Los Angeles. He primarily writes screenplays, but also does crap like this because GREEN BAY PACKERS, baby!



  1. KILLER April 30, 2017

    No worry, he will be a great one.

    Bucky Hodges was THE steal of the draft. I know, I know, you will try to tell me that the Vikings getting Dalvin Cook in Rd 2 was the steal of the draft or that the Vikings getting Jaleel Johnson in Rd 4 was the steal of the draft or the Vikings getting Danny Isadora in Rd 5 was the steal of the draft. Well, good try, they were all steals as well, but Hodges was the biggest steal. He is a 1st round talent worth a pick 11-20 range and we got him in the 6th round. How many other mid-1st rounders went in the 6th round?

    Hodges was wildly productive for a major college program against top competition. He is over 6’6″, 257 pounds, has a 39 inch vertical, and runs a 4.57 40. He is so athletic he makes Martellus Bennett look like Archie Bunker. And he will be working with a top coordinator and a top TE coach.


    1. Ferris May 1, 2017

      Keep telling yourself how great Minnesota is killer. Another year another failed Vikings season. No matter who they draft. Randy Moss was one of the best steals of the draft of all time, look what that got you. Aaron Rodgers was one of the best steals of all time too, and he has a ring. We’ll take Archie Bunker over God’s Gift 1 and 2.
      Have a nice season, I’m going to watch the You Tube video of the best Brett Favre INT of all time now…you know the one. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0UUeqvquXZI

      1. KILLER May 1, 2017

        Keep disparaging the Vikings. It shows your insecurity. Also, keep in mind when we beat your team (like we also did in 2015 and last year) and win the division that all your insults + more then must apply to the Packers. If our team is so bad it is all the more humiliating to you that we spit games and split division titles the last couple years. If we are so terrible and the Packers are so great to what do you attribute our team’s equality the last couple years?

        Wake up, Fairy-Is!

        1. Ferris May 1, 2017

          Keep commenting in Green Bay sites it shows how pathetic you are. Check back at the end of the year. If splitting games with GB is a measurement of success you’re making my point for me. Since the NFC North was a Division in 2002 Green Bay has won it 9 times to the Bears 3 and The Vikings 3. Keep hanging Division Champs banners if they ever win one again. Super Bowl Championships is the measurement and the Vikings have never won one. Plus anyone who says WE referring to the team they are a fan of is a loser. You’re not WE, the player are. Here’s another fun video for you.

          1. KILLER May 1, 2017

            Live in the present, Fairy-Is, not the past. To address your faulty logic:

            1. “Keep commenting in Green Bay sites it shows how pathetic you are.” Name calling. Tut tut. Did you learn nothing during 3rd grade recess last year? And are you aware of the hypocrisy of that statement… a comment you yourself made on a Green Bay site? Sick. Sick stuff.

            2. “If splitting games with GB is a measurement of success you are making my point for me.” I am if your point is that the Vikings are as good or better than the Packers. I agree with your point. I’m glad we could agree on something.

            3. You know those players and coaches who helped GB win division titles would be pretty ashamed of your bragging and trying to vicariously ride their success in order to attempt ineffectually to bully. At least the good guys would. The jerks wouldn’t mind I guess.

            4. Only a loser thinks someone who says WE referring to the team they are a fan of is a loser. Contrary to your bizarre make-believe definition, a singular player is not a “WE”. Remember, it is not the Vikings, it is the Minnesota Vikings. The Vikings represent the state of Minnesota and represent all of “their” fans everywhere as well. All this is why WE are WE.

            4. When a loser defines me as a loser it leads me to believe that since he is a loser but thinks he is a winner that then being a loser to him must mean I am a winner. So, in a round about way, thank you for the fine compliment.