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Well, You Chili-Stained Fucks…

Thank you for once again proving every stereotype we heap upon you to be 100 percent correct, you chili-stained fucks!

What you see up there is map that Google released last week. It shows the most searched-for recipes by state prior to Super Bowl LI.

Just in case you can’t tell what it says for Minnesota…

minnesota vikings fans are chili-stained fucks

That’s right! Chili!

We have long referred to Minnesota Vikings fans as chili-stained such-and-suches. We have long referred to their crappy new stadium as the Hormel Chili Dome.

They just looooooooove them some Hormel in Minnesota! Except on Super Bowl Sunday, it seems. That’s when they’re gonna take a crack at making their own damn chili to drip out of their breathers down their chins and right onto their best Sunday wife-beater.

When will you learn? Maude can’t wash that shit out down by the lake and we ain’t got no money for the machines!

Now please, get back to drinking Hamm’s, drooling on yourself and stabbing people.

Oh, glory! Remember when the Vikings were 5-0?


Mordecai Jones

Mordecai is a writer living in Los Angeles. He primarily writes screenplays, but also does crap like this because GREEN BAY PACKERS, baby!



  1. PF4L February 8, 2017

    California = cupcakes


    1. Chad Lundberg February 9, 2017

      You’re God Damn right! As a Californian I’m damn proud of that fact! Cupcakes fuckin rule!

  2. icebowl February 8, 2017

    Dude, I resemble that fact….
    (With a smirk)…
    Gotta go where the work is…

    1. PF4L February 8, 2017

      Oh no, no, no…. my Packer friend, please don’t misunderstand me. I meant that in a cute, nice, delicious sort of way.
      (with a smirk)

  3. NachoDan February 8, 2017

    They search for the fucking recipe? It’s on the side of the can you booger eating morons!

  4. Ferris February 9, 2017

    Wyoming…home made Oreo cookies. Really? Must have surveyed one person. I think a big box of double stuff is like $3.99.
    Guess all those Oregon pot heads love some tater tot casserole.

  5. Kato February 9, 2017

    You need a recipe for chili? Chili is something you can wing and it is still good with even mediocre cooking skills.