Not a headline from The Onion. And with the momentous good news that Big Ted will return to GM the pants off the rest of the NFL for another spectacular season, you’re probably doubled over because your stomach hurts from laughing.
But look, THIS IS THE YEAR!
This is apparently the year Big Ted listens to Hank and starts making some major moves… in free agency. Ian Rapoport actually reported this on Thursday with a straight face. He also said the Green Bay Packers’ No. target among their own free agents is tight end Jared Cook, which is a no-brainer. Cook was key to the Packers’ second-half resurgence.
“From what I’m told,” Rapoport said, “I would think the Packers are going to go and get some free agents this year along with trying to re-sign Jared Cook — which is a priority for them.”
Frankly, I feel like someone says something like this every year and then nothing… zero… zilch… nada.
Last year, you’ll recall that Big Ted was off at the Wisconsin Badgers pro day when free agency opened. Couldn’t have sent one of your scouts to that one!
But that just goes to show Ted had no intention of even bothering to call any of the name free agents. Not to ask their price, see if they might want to come in for a visit or gauge the marketplace.
Nah, I’m just gonna get into the old Corolla and drive down to Madtown. There’s a long snapper there that I’ve just gotta have a first-hand look at!
So yeah, I will fucking believe it when I see it.
Of course, if I were to play devil’s advocate, I would point out that Aaron Rodgers said the Packers need to reload after the loss in Atlanta. Many thought that was meant to pressure Thompson into, you know, actually doing his entire job this offseason, rather than just being a glorified college scout.