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Jay Cutler is a 300-Pound Lesbian

My main man CUTTY!

Haven’t checked in on him in a while…

Doin’ what old Cuts McGuts does this time of year — takin’ a vacation.

That’s what you do when you play for the Chicago Bears. You start your vacation when the Green Bay Packers are starting their playoff journey.

Well, old CUTTY! is off in Mexico with his lady, Kristin Cavallari. And you know she needs attention, so that means everything goes on the Instagram. Even less-than-flattering shots of that hunk of a man, CUTTY!

Did I say he looked like a 300-pound lesbian in that shot?

I would never do such a thing to the legendary Jay Cutler. He has given me far too many fond memories, through his swashbuckling greatness on the football field to his wily devil-may-care antics off it.

Somebody did, though.

How dare they, I say? They are obviously not a Green Bay Packers fan or a fan of excellence in its human form.

So here’s a more recent shot of my man Cuts, not looking like a lesbian at all…

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Monty McMahon

Monty McMahon is one of the founders of Total Packers. He is probably the most famous graduate of UW-Oshkosh next to Jim Gantner.

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5 Comments

  1. PF4L January 19, 2017

    Brokeback Mountain

  2. NachoDan January 19, 2017

    Gusband? She sounds awful.

  3. El Sleezerino January 19, 2017

    You know I come out of the woodwork for the Cutler stuff. Well done.

  4. KILLER January 19, 2017

    Are you dropping your “Mordecai Jones” veil, Monty? You would usually post this sort of trashy trash McTrash under the moniker of Mordecai but this time you are using your real name.

    Some honesty, at least in name, when posting lies in the content? Refreshing!

  5. Sal January 20, 2017

    The fuck is a gusband?

    Don’t answer that. I’m happier not knowing.