Jay Cutler is a 300-Pound Lesbian

My main man CUTTY!

Haven’t checked in on him in a while…

Doin’ what old Cuts McGuts does this time of year — takin’ a vacation.

That’s what you do when you play for the Chicago Bears. You start your vacation when the Green Bay Packers are starting their playoff journey.

Well, old CUTTY! is off in Mexico with his lady, Kristin Cavallari. And you know she needs attention, so that means everything goes on the Instagram. Even less-than-flattering shots of that hunk of a man, CUTTY!

I had the best birthday of my life and it was all thanks to this guy. Not only did he plan a huge surprise party, he planned a “surprise” trip to Mexico with some of my closest friends, too. Thanks, babe….you will probably never see this ?

A photo posted by Kristin Cavallari (@kristincavallari) on Jan 16, 2017 at 9:28am PST

Did I say he looked like a 300-pound lesbian in that shot?

I would never do such a thing to the legendary Jay Cutler. He has given me far too many fond memories, through his swashbuckling greatness on the football field to his wily devil-may-care antics off it.

Somebody did, though.

How dare they, I say? They are obviously not a Green Bay Packers fan or a fan of excellence in its human form.

So here’s a more recent shot of my man Cuts, not looking like a lesbian at all…

Husband and gusband. And since Jay looked like a 300lb lesbian in my last post, I felt I should do him justice by posting him looking hot AF in this one ?. PS….look what happens when he hangs out with @thescottycunha for 5 minutes #TheDeepDeepV ???

A photo posted by Kristin Cavallari (@kristincavallari) on Jan 17, 2017 at 5:04pm PST