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There’s A Really Stupid Theory About a Packers-Lions Conspiracy

Dumbest thing we’ve heard all day. Dumbest thing we’ve heard all week. Possibly dumbest thing we’ve heard all year.

No, wait, Mike McCarthy coaches our football team, so it couldn’t possibly be the dumbest thing we’ve heard all year.

Here it is.

The Green Bay Packers will play the Detroit Lions for the NFC North title. Everyone knows that.

If Washington wins earlier in the day, the loser between the Packers and Lions will go home. If Washington loses, then both the Packers and Lions will make the playoffs regardless of outcome. There’s one other possible outcome.

Washington can win and still miss the playoffs if the Packers and Lions tie. In that scenario, the Packers would win the division via a 1-0-1 record vs. the Lions. Although the Lions would have the same 9-6-1 record as the Redskins, they would still get the playoff nod due to a better conference record.

So what’s the conspiracy?

That Packers and Lions agree to play to a tie so they both make the playoffs. And if that isn’t quite stupid enough for you, some have even suggested that they agree to kneel down on every series to play to a 0-0 tie!

I want to shoot myself in the face thanks to ESPN, Bleacher Report and USA Today making me literally dumber than I was 20 minutes ago.

Seriously, there would almost have to be a conspiracy for a tie of any sort to happen.

Of the 224 games played so far in this NFL season, only two have ended in a tie. That’s less than one percent.

A tie hasn’t happened on the final week of the NFL season since the merger. So that’s zero percent.

Personally, I think it would great if the Redskins would just piss off and lose. Nobody likes you anyway.

Mordecai Jones

Mordecai is a writer living in Los Angeles. He primarily writes screenplays, but also does crap like this because GREEN BAY PACKERS, baby!



  1. PF4L December 27, 2016

    I want to shoot myself in the face thanks to you, for reading your stupid article, about something stupid.

    Stop writing stupid shit.

    Thank you for understanding.

  2. Howard December 27, 2016

    These guys should be nominated for the the next Darwin Award. The problem is the Darwin Award winners must eliminate themselves in an extraordinarily idiotic manner, thereby improving our species’ chances of long-term survival. So a nomination would be a waste of time just like this entire subject. The positive news is an award could still be achieved if accidental self-sterilization is accomplished.

    1. Squeezy December 28, 2016

      Good story Bill Shakespeare…Try keeping it under 20 chapters next time.

      Try this…..

      Article sucks, Lions suck more, Packers win by default.

  3. Linde Infanty December 29, 2016

    I’m still annoyed that you didn’t put Scott Mitchell at number 1 for reasons why the Detroit Lions suck. Also, Marty Mornhinweg should be somewhere on that list. But other than that? Fine work, sir.