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Snow More: Packers On 2-Game Streak, Beat Texans

It wasn’t the Snow Bowl, but it was December football in Green Bay, Wisconsin. It wasn’t what we predicted at all. It was this, though — a Green Bay Packers team led by a motivated Aaron Rodgers shutting down the Houston Texans at the right time.

It was a final drive that was definitive. That closed the door. It was a depleted defense that came up with big plays when they needed to all day.

Perhaps it was a not-very-good Houston team. Perhaps it was the weather…

But the Packers still needed to show up and play… something they didn’t do for the middle part of this season.

Maybe they just need a reminder, “Oh, shit, there’s snow on the ground! We’re a cold-weather team! We should rub our vaginas real hard until they are warm and moist and then go play football!”

I’m not quite sure.

What I am quite sure of is the Packers wasted a shit-ton of amazing field position in this game. But look, IT WAS SNOWING!

That’s what Buffoon would tell you before telling you, “we need to play December football.”

That’s beside the point though. I firmly believe the players have tuned Buffoon out of the conversation.

The Packers’ offense wasn’t great. For whatever reason, Buffoon thought he could run James Starks, even though each and every thing suggests James Starks is a corpse of a running back. Christine Michael, our man Ty Montgomery… those guys could run, but let’s not run them.

Doesn’t matter.

Cold day, cold game, Fat Mike played the weather and he won. He won betting on the Texans being bad on offense, which they were — like they have been all season. He bet on Aaron Rodgers making one drive.

I would have bet on that too. Fourth quarter, Packers up 14-7, here’s the ball Aaron Rodgers. Go win this fucking game for us.

Aaron Rodgers won that game for us. I mean, thank you to that shitburger Texans corner who fell down and left Jordo wide open in the end zone, but… yes.

That’s all it was.

Listen, boys and girls — 6-6. The Vikings are even, but they’re an afterthought. The Lions will choke. They are the Lions!

This season isn’t over.

I’m not sure if I love that notion for fairly obvious reasons, but I will tell you one thing…

GBP — and FUCK everyone else!

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Monty McMahon

Monty McMahon is one of the founders of Total Packers. He is probably the most famous graduate of UW-Oshkosh next to Jim Gantner.

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36 Comments

  1. ARS85 December 4, 2016

    The running back snap counts are comical. There is no way to justify starks ever being on the field again. Make Michel the featured back. Mix in Montgomery. Fuck the fullback handoffs and waive starks asap.

    Ps: none of this will happen and starks will start next week. They should run some more stretch plays with him, he’s super quick and shifty, looks like a young Barry sanders out there.

    1. Chad Lundberg December 4, 2016

      They did change it a little more than usual, and McCarthy knows they have to win virtually every game now, so personally, and I can’t believe I’m saying this, there is still a chance he drops Starks from the run game and goes to Ty and Michael.

  2. Howard December 4, 2016

    I think MM should have challenged that spot on the third down pass to Cobb before they went for it on 4th and 2. Looked like the ball was spotted a yard or more short. 4th and 1 or less may have had a better chance for Rip. That play flipped the field for the Texans. A good thing Rodgers and the offense had a 98 yard drive in them.

  3. gort December 4, 2016

    Two quick comments.
    First, let me apologize to the team. Just a couple weeks ago I said that there wasn’t another win in the whole season and that they would run the table with losses. A day later I read that AR said exactly the opposite. Today they proved me very very wrong. Nicely done guys.
    What does Starks need to do to get into the dog house? His performance on the opening series of the 2nd half was terrible. He must be moved out of the starting lineup.

    1. PF4L December 4, 2016

      I’m not apologizing for shit. They beat a couple teams on the downslide featuring 2 awful QB’s.

      The team has no (zero) run game (excluding QB’s and wr’s). It’s still the same shit defense. Still the same buffoon. Still the same Ted (see ya at the draft) Thompson. And Mark ( buy this photo of Favre, Rodgers, and Starr) Murphy.

      Great win, they won’t win the Division. If a miracle happened, and they won job security…oops, i meant won the Division….Great, then what?

      1. Mike Ditka's Mom December 4, 2016

        Why do you even bother to be a fan?

        1. PF4L December 4, 2016

          If i’m wrong in substance, then use your brain and tell me. If not, be a good blind sheep, stfu and drink your kool-aid.

          I’m guessing Mensa doesn’t recruit here.

          1. Niko December 5, 2016

            Mensa most certainly does not.

  4. Emeraldo December 4, 2016

    Wow, aren’t you just a mad bastard for mentioning female genitalia. Does it make you feel like a big man? Did you get off? Seriously pathetic. Embarrassed for you. Tell your friends in the schoolyard tomorrow.

  5. Kato December 4, 2016

    I don’t want to see Starks get another carry. He doesn’t have it anymore. He was a respectable #2 back. Not anymore. There was one run in particular where he tried to get to the outside and got tackled for a loss when there was a cutback lane that he could have taken for at least ten yards. Poor vision.

  6. fire ted mike and Mark December 4, 2016

    Not gonna complain too much after a win but…

    I just don’t know what it’s gonna take for buffoon to give Michael more carries, or Montgomery but no more damn Starks. The guy proves he can’t get it done and I don’t know of one team he would start for, Cleveland included. yet McCarthy keeps giving him the ball. That’s not gonna cut it next week.

    Don’t know how much the weather played a role but the offense wasn’t very productive aside from the 2 long second half drives, one of which was aided by a defender falling down. This type of weather can be expected from here on though. Liked the play getting Janis the ball.

    The d really didn’t get tested much again. Didn’t like how easy Houston drove down at the end and scored. Again, next week will be the test. dont know how much Matthews will blame it on injuries but the guy just isn’t getting it done. On the play where a teammate got a sack you see Matthews run at the lineman and just stop and stand there and kinda stick an arm out. If he’s not doing that every play he’s running way wide and not even involved in the play or getting any pressure.

    Still think they’ve benefitted from facing 2 horrible offenses the last 2 games and while the offense is a little better, it’s not by much. The Detroit game will be tough but that’s too far out. This next game will tell a lot. A loss pretty much ends the playoff chase and even if it mathematically doesn’t, do they really have a chance in the playoffs against Seattle, Dallas, Atlanta if they can’t beat Seattle at home?

    Will take a win but still conflicted over it because Murphy will use each win to justify keeping tt,mm, etc around another season and I didn’t see anything special out there to begin thinking this team could be a serious contender.

    1. PF4L December 4, 2016

      ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

      1. Mike Ditka's Mom December 4, 2016

        Looks like somebody needs a new keyboard.

    2. Mike Ditka's Mom December 4, 2016

      Do you eat shit sandwiches for lunch and punch yourself in the balls for fun? Good grief, take a moment to stop and smell the flowers.

      1. PF4L December 4, 2016

        This is an opinion board dipshit. Peoples opinions vary. If you can’t handle someone’s opinion, then…
        1) Don’t read it.
        2) Cry to Monty and tell him some opinions hurt your feelings and find out if he gives a fuck..
        3) Grab another box of tissues and keep crying.

        Thank you for understanding.

    3. Mike Ditka's Mom December 4, 2016

      While I agree with your take on the last two games you have to understand that Michael doesn’t completely know the offense yet. Good grief, you people are one-dimensional. Try reading something other than what’s posted on Total TMZ Packers.

    4. Savage57 December 5, 2016

      “Not gonna complain too much after a win but…”

      “, the entire following post will be a complaint.”

      1. fire ted mike and Mark December 5, 2016

        Pretty much. Just wanted to get the facts out instead of just put that. Also forgot to mention the rush d getting torn up constantly on third and long, and by the big slow qb and the backup rb and the the backups backup. Don’t get me wrong I’m happy about a win but if they lose to Seattle they are 3 back with 3 left. Not gonna let wins vs 2 sorry teams get my hopes way up. Yes there’s hope but everyone knows they aren’t going anywhere.

  7. gort December 4, 2016

    Packers D will need to play much better next week. Seattle has over 300 yards total offense and 23 points in the first half against Carolina on SNF.

  8. TyKo Steamboat December 4, 2016

    Johnny “Blood” McNally, Bart Starr, Curly Lambeau, Reggie White, Datone Jones

    1. PF4L December 4, 2016

      Datone Jones!!

      If the question is which of these names don’t belong?

      1. TyKo Steamboat December 4, 2016

        Pft.

        Obviously you don’t watch Green Bay packers football. Or, you’re just trolling. Datone & the Pack crushed today. It’s like 2010 all over again… & Datine is obviously the Charles Woodson of this team.

        Pretty soon he’ll be seeing out & looking all handsome makes those television commercials. Then Datone can date a Hollywood broad & have a hamstring injury to play through.

        Number 95 about to hang in the rafters

  9. gort December 4, 2016

    Followed by another 75 yards and 7 more points on the first play of the 2nd half

  10. Mike Ditka's Mom December 4, 2016

    I know this is a spam bot but …da fuck he say?

  11. Mike December 5, 2016

    They looked pretty terrible even though they won. Houston is average to bad team with NO QB at all. Next week is basically the season, beat Seattle & they may have a shot? Cuz I think Detroit will lose @ Dallas, and NY. I really thght the Saints would beat them yesterday too? So who knows? I’m FIRMLY in cleaning house regardless of what happens. ENOUGH of Fat Mike, Cadaver Ted & Alfred E Neuman Murphy!!!! I can’t go thru another season of them. With that Caper Defense, I can’t see them beating Seattle. Wilson will kill’em running & throwing. Hope I’m wrong?? But I have ZERO faith in Green Bay Defense

  12. Zwoeger December 5, 2016

    Man Randall’s never gonna learn it. Be it covering or tackling . He is good at jumping up and down thoug stead of paying attation to the up coming play like in the 1th minute of the second quarter.

  13. Kato December 5, 2016

    This might be one of the more disturbing things I have read in a while.

  14. Anti-McCarthy Fan December 5, 2016

    https://www.change.org/p/mark-h-murphy-at-the-end-of-the-2016-nfl-season-replace-mike-mccarthy-ted-thompson-and-dom-capers?utmSource=share_petition&utmCampaign=mobile_petition_view

    People, forget about the division title and let’s focus on getting signatures. We need McHippo gone ASAP. How that page has 24 supporters is beyond me. THAT PAGE SHOULD HAVE MORE THAN 24 SUPPORTERS, NOT 24 ACTUAL SUPPORTERS. Come fucking on all of you. Sign the petition, comment loud and proud and show the Packers how fed up you all are with McHippo.

    People petitioned for semi trucks to be banned from Tail of the Dragon and guess what, Tennessee did it 2 years ago and North Carolina did it in 2012, a year after the Ike Woodard Debacle. SO PEOPLE COME FUCKING ON, FORGET ABOUT THE PLAYOFFS AND THE DIVISION TITLE AND START SIGNING THE PETITION. THIS PETITION SHOULD HAVE MORE THAN 24 SIGNATUERS, NOT FUCKING 24.

    And if this team makes the fucking playoffs, I will be so fucking pissed because it’s time to worry about firing McCarthy, not make the playoffs. So all of you fans here, pull your head out of your asses and comment on the petition of why McCarthy should be fired. ALL OF YOU WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU WAITING FOR? TO WASTE THE REST OF RODGERS PRIME, COME FUCKING ON SIGN THE GODDAMN PETITION. NOW!

  15. Anti-McCarthy Fan December 5, 2016

    https://www.change.org/p/mark-h-murphy-at-the-end-of-the-2016-nfl-season-replace-mike-mccarthy-ted-thompson-and-dom-capers?utmSource=share_petition&utmCampaign=mobile_petition_view

    People, forget about the division title and let’s focus on getting signatures. We need McHippo gone ASAP. How that page has 24 supporters is beyond me. THAT PAGE SHOULD HAVE MORE THAN 24 SUPPORTERS, NOT 24 ACTUAL SUPPORTERS. Come fucking on all of you. Sign the petition, comment loud and proud and show the Packers how fed up you all are with McHippo.

    People petitioned for semi trucks to be banned from Tail of the Dragon and guess what, Tennessee did it 2 years ago and North Carolina did it in 2012, a year after the Ike Woodard Debacle. SO PEOPLE COME FUCKING ON, FORGET ABOUT THE PLAYOFFS AND THE DIVISION TITLE AND START SIGNING THE PETITION. THIS PETITION SHOULD HAVE MORE THAN 24 SIGNATUERS, NOT FUCKING 24.

    And if this team makes the fucking playoffs, I will be so fucking pissed because it’s time to worry about firing McCarthy, not make the playoffs. So all of you fans here, pull your head out of your asses and comment on the petition of why McCarthy should be fired. ALL OF YOU! WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU WAITING FOR? TO WASTE THE REST OF RODGERS PRIME, COME FUCKING ON SIGN THE GODDAMN PETITION. NOW!

  16. rebelgb December 5, 2016

    LOL stop jumping on the bandwagon people. The Hawks (who I fucking hate) are gonna put a major league ass whooping on this team next week. The loss will mentally unhinge a weak team who will have flashbacks to a NFC Champ loss a few seasons past. After that the season is over. Will it be enough to lose the Walking Limp Wristed Ghost and the Fat Turd Machine? Hopefully; but I wouldnt hold my breath.

  17. MMTTDCSUCK December 5, 2016

    I enjoyed the “Snow Angel”, the DB for Houston falling down and giving Jordy an “uncontested” TD catch and Jeff Janis’ 19 yard end around run, those were fun things for a change! Other than that, the 98 yard drive and the 80 plus yard drives were nice. Aaron Rodgers not destroying his hamstring was a plus for certain. The O Line still needs to figure out how to run block. It would not matter if Barry Sanders was back there it is not getting better. Either the schemes, play or personnel (or all three) are lacking. I was surprised at how much the Texans seemed to be in disarray on offense. Seattle will not look like this against Green Bay. While I really enjoyed the win (just because!) this is NOT helping Green Bay for the future. Can we squeak into the playoffs? perhaps. But then that fucking Murphy will keep the fucktards in Green Bay for another bland year of disappointments and frustrations which will further impact the future with TT “The Frugal GM” choosing one more year of inept and over-rated college draftees . . .

    1. Anti-McCarthy Fan December 5, 2016
    2. Kato December 5, 2016

      Idk, I thought the run blocking wasn’t terrible actually. Starks missed some reads that could have been taken for nice gains.

      1. MMTTDCSUCK December 5, 2016

        I will give you that on Starks, I have always been a fan of Starks, but he just has not been himself lately. I wonder if he is playing injured as well? Either way, Most of the time it appears as if the opposing team knows exactly where they are running way before the ball is snapped. I also believe that Montgomery is still being considered a “gimmick” and the other teams continue to ignore him. In Montgomery’s favor is the fact that he seems to have real good vision while running.

        1. Anti-McCarthy Fan December 6, 2016

          MMTTDCSUCK please check out the petition I linked to you.