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Thank God the Packers Won’t Be Ruining Thanksgiving This Year

I fucking love Thanksgiving. Best holiday ever!

Gorge yourself with food, get wasted, maybe play some cards, watch football and possibly make some bad decisions. Plus, camaraderie!

Unfortunately, I haven’t enjoyed Thanksgiving lately. I haven’t enjoyed it because the dirtbag Green Bay Packers keep ruining the greatest holiday known to man.

Who could forget last Thanksgiving? The Packers had four shots to pull out a 20-17 win from the Chicago Bears’ 11-yard line and what did they do? They didn’t gain a single yard.

Here’s the fourth and final incompletion.

Not only did the Packers lose to the suckbag Chicago Bears AT HOME, they did so on a night when the organization honored Brett Favre at halftime. Clearly, the Packers chose this game to honor Favre because, A. it was a national game and, B. it should have been an easy win for the home team.

And in case you fail to recall, the Bears were 6-10 in 2015.

On a side note, the Packers needed to honor Brett Favre again this season for whatever reason. They choose to do it against the Dallas Cowboys, who completely raked Green Bay.

So, I dunno, maybe ENOUGH with honoring fucking Brett Favre, eh?

Or who could forget Thanksgiving 2013, the previous time the Packers played on that Thursday?

That piece of crap was over before I even had enough turkey in my face. The Packers put up 10 points in the first quarter and then failed to score again, allowing the Lions to ultimately roll up 40 points, 37 of which went unanswered.

Yes, Matt Flynn was quarterbacking the team in that game, but listen to this pathetic crap.

Detroit put up 561 yards of offense. They held the ball for 40 minutes and 26 seconds. The Packers managed just 126 yards of TOTAL offense and seven first downs to the Lions’ 30. Flynn was sacked seven times.

Watch these highlights just to see Flynn get killed in the end zone for a safety.

The Lions finished 7-9 that year. Comically, they would choke and allow Rodgers to come back late in the year and lead the Packers to the division title with an 8-7-1 record.

Still, a crappy day.

Nothing probably holds up to 1962, at least from a historical perspective.

The 1962 Packers are considered by many to be the best team in NFL history. They finished 13-1, putting up the most points per game (29.6) and giving up the fewest (10.6). Think about putting up 29 points per game in 1962 for a second — teams mostly ran the football.

Those Packers were that dominant and they did it on both sides of the ball, but when do you think that one loss came?

Goddam Thanksgiving, against the Detroit Lions.

The Packers still only lost 26-14, but they did lose and because of that single loss, a lot of people don’t consider this team to be the best in NFL history.

The Packers actually played Detroit every year on Thanksgiving during this period. In June of 1963, Vince Lombardi called up the Lions and told them where to shove their Thanksgiving game.

Yes, there were some positive games for the Packers on Thanksgiving. However, the team is 14-20-2 all time on that day, so there are still more bad than good.

And that’s why, this Thanksgiving I am thankful that Green Bay Packers won’t be ruining my damn day!

Monty McMahon

Monty McMahon is one of the founders of Total Packers. He is probably the most famous graduate of UW-Oshkosh next to Jim Gantner.



  1. PF4L November 24, 2016

    Well then, try to have a happy………….damn day.

  2. Bobby D November 24, 2016

    Silver lining….we’ll get a top ten draft pick and he’ll be a game changing play maker!!! Oh wait, TT blows (in more ways than one) and wouldn’t recognize an impact player if he had his balls resting on Old Ted’s chin!

    1. Gil Thorp November 24, 2016

      The cadaver would probably enjoy that.

  3. gort November 24, 2016

    Happy Thanksgiving to all the regulars on TotalPackers.
    Don’t eat as much turkey as I will.

  4. Howard November 24, 2016

    It didn’t bother me as much that Favre was being honored and the team lost. What bothered me was Starr honored the Packer faithful by making a long journey back onto the field and the team lost. Happy Thanksgiving to all.

    1. PF4L November 24, 2016

      What bothers me, is that there has to be a press conference by Ted, to announce that a photo of Favre, Rodgers, and Starr is now available for sale in time for the Holiday season. Which makes me question the motivation to bring Starr back. But GDI, were non profit, we gotta bring in the dollars.

      But then again, it got Ted to make a rare appearance in front of camera’s. Unfortunately in the name of greed.

      I can’t stand today’s Green Bay Packers leaders. Any of them.

      1. Empacador November 24, 2016

        Wait, I thought that was Murphy?

  5. Kato November 24, 2016

    How is Start doing anyway? Haven’t heard anything recently. I guess no news is good news though. Happy thanksgiving all, I didn’t see gorts post in time and ended up eating too much turkey.

    Also, fuck the packers, I don’t want to think about something depressing.

  6. gort November 24, 2016

    I was careful with the turkey, but did a pretty good Lacy imitation on the pie.