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Week 12 Predictions: Green Bay Packers at Philadelphia Eagles

Shawn (5-4, 3-5-1 ATS): Last week I finally jumped off the Green Bay Packers’ bandwagon and made some rare money as a result.

This week maybe I’ll give in to insanity just one last time.

The Philadelphia Eagles haven’t lost at home yet this season. The Packers are imploding right before our eyes and might have already given up on this season: their words say no, their actions say yes.

But to whip out one of my favorites from my man Admiral David Farragut, “Damn the torpedoes, full speed ahead!” I’m taking the Packers.

The Eagles have won at home mostly through defense, whose main calling card in turn has been getting to the quarterback. I think they may have mild success Monday night and that remains their best chance to win this game.

However, the Eagles offense and rookie QB Carson Wentz have been going the opposite direction at this point in the season. They are starting to stumble, and I think that gives the Packers a shot.

The Packers, as we all know, have been victimized lately not by their offense, but by their defense or lack thereof. I think the combination of Jake Ryan and Damarious Randall back, along with a weaker offense to contain, will be the cure the Packers need on defense.

The Packers’ offense will stumble at times, per usual, but they are headed in the right direction. I think with their backs literally against the wall, the Packers will get enough out of Aaron Rodgers and the Packers’ offense to win this one.

Believe it or not, I think the Packers will keep this season on life support until Seattle shows up at Lambeau Field.

Or they won’t.

Packers 23, Eagles 20

Monty (5-5, 2-6-2 ATS): Like Shawn, I wised up and picked against the Green Bay Packers last week. Like Shawn, I picked the opposition to cover last week. Like Shawn, I was actually right last week. And like Shawn, I am going to go and screw that up this week by taking the Green Bay Packers.

Let me first start off by saying this. I have zero faith in this football team. They are not a good football team. They are probably not even going to be the best football team on the field on Monday night.

So why the hell would I pick them on the road?

No, I don’t really care about Aaron Rodgers semi-guarantee that the Packers are going to win out. However, I took note of something he said when he made that comment. He mentioned that the offense is close to putting it all together and I think he’s right. We’ve seen signs of the offense possibly being able to do that lately. They need to stop the early three-and-outs, put together four solid quarters of football — not just one or two, and they need to run the damn ball.

To that latter point, recent acquisition Christine Michael is expected to make his debut tonight. The Packers would be wise to use him to control the clock and keep their beleaguered defense off the field. Will they?

Who knows with Buffoon at the helm?

To me, that’s the biggest key. Can the Packers control the clock?

If they can, they’ve got a chance.

Defensively, the return of Jake Ryan will help. What would also help is if Clay Matthews wasn’t just on the field, but would actually make some plays. Last week, Matthews had a single tackle to show for himself. He’s going to need to do much better than that tonight.

As always, the key to any success the Packers will have on defense is predicated on the pass rush. Matthews needs to get after it. If Matthews can make an impact, that should free up Nick Perry. And maybe, Mike Daniels will actually show up for a change as well.

Yes, there are a lot of ifs here. But look, the Packers have lost four in a row. They’re not going to lose out.

Now seems to me the time that streak is broken. To whip out one of my favorite quotes — even the sun shines on a dog’s ass on some days.

The Eagles are favored by three to four. We’re taking the Packers.

Packers 32, Eagles 24

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Shawn

Shawn Neuser attended UWGB and lives and works in Green Bay. He enjoys long walks on the beach and being intimate with game film.

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21 Comments

  1. Howard November 28, 2016

    Crazy… I mean like, so many positive waves… maybe we can’t lose, you’re on!

  2. Lynn Fuckin' Dickey November 28, 2016

    This is some battered wife shit.

    Not for this guy. I’m taking the kids and going to my mother’s.

    Eagles 30, Packers 13.

  3. Zwoeger November 28, 2016

    I know Wentz is struggling lately but he has now Randall to target. You know that guy that can’t cover a pea with a steak.

  4. Mike November 28, 2016

    44-7 Philadelphia. The S.S McSlob finally sinks. as painful & embarrassing as it would be. Hopefully Murphy has private meeting with Jon Gruden at stadium tonight?? and Packer Nation gets something to be hopeful about.

  5. Mike November 28, 2016

    Dom Capers Turnstile Defense, lets hope Pack keep’em under 50? Randalls back? “OH BOY” that’s the guy they made S.Diggs look like Jerry Rice

  6. Anti-McCarthy Fan November 28, 2016

    Eagles 37 Packers 27

    MMTTDCSUCK make sure you sign as your real name and make sure you rant on the petition https://www.change.org/p/mark-h-murphy-at-the-end-of-the-2016-nfl-season-replace-mike-mccarthy-ted-thompson-and-dom-capers?utmSource=share_petition&utmCampaign=mobile_petition_view

    This petition needs 45 signatures not 23.

    1. Kato November 28, 2016

      Dude. A fucking petition with 45 signatures on it isn’t changing shit. I think everyone on this site has seen this shit.

      1. PF4L November 28, 2016

        Kato, Just like all these petitions, even if they get 5,000 signatures and someone throw’s in a dollar. At the end of the day all that get’s them is a cup of coffee. It’s sad that they think they can dictate someone’s employment with a few signatures. Someone possessing an idealistic mind can sometimes bear the fruit of an invention, or more often than not, just waste a lot of time. If this shit worked, don’t ya’ll think i would have had Mordecai thrown out on his ass by now?

        Have we learned nothing from the Favre petition?

        1. PF4L November 28, 2016

          Kato…How about we start a petition, to ban this guy from soliciting all these petitions?

          1. Kato November 28, 2016

            Yes! 5 signatures needed.

  7. Kato November 28, 2016

    Well, I have some bourbon county in the fridge for the game to help numb myself. Thank god it is 14.5%, should get me drunk by the 8 minute mark of the second quarter.

    1. Dick November 28, 2016

      Hell yes!

      1. Kato November 28, 2016

        Love that stuff. I got a couple cases of it, as bad as the packers are this year, I will inevitably drink it all by the end of the season

  8. PF4L November 28, 2016

    Ok, i have more thoughts, than time, so here it is.

    Why the Eagles win:
    1) Eagles are 4-0 at home, Packers are 1-4 on the road.
    2) The Eagles have allowed only 38 points in their 4 home games.
    3) After every loss, McPlumper then tells the press, the Packers will beat the next opponent. That hasn’t worked out so well, but McSloppy keeps doing it like a fool.
    4) This is the 3rd straight road game for the Packers. The only bright spot is the home crowd hasn’t been booing them.
    5) The Packers secondary yields an average passer rating of 105 to opposing QB’s
    6) The Eagles defense.
    7) Ryan and Randall might be back for the Packers
    8) Clay possibly gets moved to ILB and Carson Wentz has time. To do what, i’m not sure.
    9) Can Monty and Shawn pick the winning team 2 weeks in a row?
    10) MM, TT, DC

    Why the Packers win:
    1) Aaron Rodgers
    2) Eagles offense.
    3) Aaron Rodgers

    The Eagles by 4.

  9. Disposable Hero November 28, 2016

    Packers will keep it close for a quarter or two and then MM will find a way to fuck it up (status quo). Hope Michael turns out to be a decent pick up (and actually given the ball more than 4 times). This season (and management) reminds me of Old Yeller, time to take them out back and put them out of their misery; Eagles by 7.

  10. Savage57 November 28, 2016

    Y’all are generous as hell. If the Packers can keep the margin under 20, the Pope is going to declare Lincoln Field the site of a miracle.

    Eagles 45, Packers 13.

  11. gort November 28, 2016

    I just made some tea for my wife and the tea leaves say:
    Packers win 35 to 21.
    No negative waves from me tonight.
    GO PACK GO

  12. PF4L November 28, 2016

    For those truly looking for change in upper management. Every win hurts the cause. I get not having it in you, not to cheer for the Packers, i get it. It’s an anguish i feel every game.

    But here’s the thing, so we win a game here or there. Maybe we win 3 or 4 even. What do we get for that? Not a damn thing, other than TT and MM are breathing easier.

    Losing is temporary, change is permanent.

  13. PF4L November 28, 2016

    Halftime: The Packers offense came out like it’s 2011. After the 2nd td to start the 2nd quarter. They reverted back to the 3 and 4 yard dink and dunk passing game, which explains why the scoring stopped.

    The Eagles, without Ryan Mathews, and now Jordan Mathews out with a ankle injury. The Eagles are devoid of playmakers, but still managed to eek out a field goal making the score 14-10.

    The Packers will win this game unless the Eagles defense can create turnovers into scores. I expect more dink and dunk so the Eagles front 4 doesn’t destroy the Packers 0-line and Rodgers. I see a boring 2nd half with a lot of punting and the Packers winning the game. Giving TT and MM some breathing room. The win itself means nothing.