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Don’t Worry, No One is Getting Canned

There were increasing calls to fire someone after the Green Bay Packers dropped their fourth game in a row, in Washington. The reasoning — which is sound — is that the Packers need a kick in the ass. It needs to be demonstrated that you don’t get to underperform and keep your job. A wake-up call needs to be sent.

Well, if you know anything about the Green Bay Packers and the shitbird who runs said organization, you know that is something that would never happen. Good old Ginger Gap Tooth confirmed that on Monday.

No one is getting canned.

Actually, the answer would start with firing that useless status quo-loving dick, but sure. We get it. What good does it do to start firing people before the season is over?

Actually, we’ve already given you the answer to that question. It puts everyone on notice — perform or get the hell out of town.

These are the Green Bay Packers, not the Cleveland Fucking Browns.

The sad reality is the Green Bay Packers play in the worst division in the NFC, if not all of football. They are still only two games out of first place and ultimately, if they win the remainder of their NFC North games, they can still win the division and make the playoffs.

Frankly, I think none of us actually want that to happen at this point because it would just be another excuse for old GGT to keep the current loser regime in place. There’s nothing we like about watching the Packers lose, but it’s obviously the only way any sort of change will be implemented.

Because golly, gee, we can’t fire anyone during the season! That would send a message that you actually have to be good at your job to keep it. We can’t have that!

Personally, I’d start with a coordinator so as not to throw the whole organization into disarray. Then clean house after the season ends. Dom Capers’ unit sure has been underperforming as of late…

Mordecai Jones

Mordecai is a writer living in Los Angeles. He primarily writes screenplays, but also does crap like this because GREEN BAY PACKERS, baby!



  1. Bobby D November 21, 2016

    Gotta a flash for you. These are the Cleveland fucking Browns!!! Was in Jax for the opener. They looked like shit winning that one and have not even remotely impressed since. First half against the Lions & have sucked dick just like Teddy does ever since. Right now, incredibly IMO one of the three worst teams in the league. Would be THE worst without AR. This assemblage of garbage is all the fault of the mentally challenged anti social overrated ballet dancer named Ted. Gap tooth, white rat, fat boy and combover all gotta go. With all his baggage, I’d love to see what Jon Gruden could do with this boring fucking offense. Let them go 4-12 if the ghost of Vince Lombardi rides into town and jettisons this bunch of useless assholes!!

    1. Skinny November 21, 2016

      Hell yea Bobby D. You tell em. Fuck these guys. This is the Packers organization but it sure as shit doesn’t feel like it anymore. I’m so fuckin sick of Ted not talking. Sends Mike out there to take the heat every week. Man, fuck that guy. What a rat. I couldn’t play for a GM like that.

  2. gort November 21, 2016

    “if they win the remainder of their NFC North games, they can still win the division and make the playoffs.”

    I keep lowering my expectations. A few weeks ago, I said we have enough .500 team. Since then I said they probably had at least 2 more wins. Now I think they can “run the table”, just not in victories. Seriously, what game can they win? Eagles on MNF – not yet ready for prime time = NO. Texans – not likely. Seattle – yeah right. At Chicago – no emotion = no victory. Minnesota / Detroit – both will most likely be playing for the division = 10 straight losses. I think that 4 -12 is a real possibility. The season is already “over”, but when it is 3:30 pm on New Year’s Day, there better be some significant vacancies in the Packers front office and coaching staff or there will be a lot of pissed off Cheeseheads.

    1. ferris November 22, 2016

      I’m hoping for 4-12, someone has to go then. You’re right they shouldn’t win anymore games, however the Bears are worse than GB, and the Lions will choke, history repeats itself. Minnesota is the best team in this horrible division because of their defense.

  3. PF4L November 21, 2016

    “There’s nothing we like about watching the Packers lose, but it’s obviously the only way any sort of change will be implemented.”

    WOW..BRILLIANT, that’s never been said before…multiple times.

    Let me know when your putting me on the payroll Monty.

  4. PF4L November 21, 2016

    There’s a big difference in the meaning of the title ” NO ONE IS GETTING CANNED.

    Vs. Ted saying “the answer isn’t to just fire people midseason.”

    Keyword = midseason

    But, but, but…..we need clicks

  5. Mike November 22, 2016

    Looking at that Picture of those 3 fresh off the Fag-Bus, its DISGUSTING to realize those 3 are ruining Americas Team!!!! They should be running the Bills, Browns, Jaguars. BOTTOM FEEDERS!!! How can Green Bay not do better?????? It sickens me to think Superbowl with Dallas vs NE. Count me OUT, I’d rather watch paint dry.

  6. Kato November 22, 2016

    The problem is even if TT is ousted, I don’t see Eliot Wolf being any better. Keep in mind that he has a large say in who the packers draft or sign. He also is in charge of college scouting I believe. The packers haven’t had an abundance of success the past few years

    1. PF4L November 22, 2016

      I’ll take my chances…lol

      1. PF4L November 22, 2016

        The biggest problem Wolf will have, is finding the next QB. The odds of having 3 franchise QB’s consecutively aren’t with him. Maybe worse odds than winning powerball. Has any team had 3 franchise QBS in a row?….EVER?

        Although you can praise Holmgren, and some praise McCarthy for success in the NFL. They didn’t do it with the Cutlers, Staffords, and Ponders of the world. Unless you have a 85 bear defense, or a 2000 Raven defense. You better have real talent under center.

    2. MMTTDCSUCK November 23, 2016

      Amen! Hasn’t E. Wolf been working with TT already in player draft and procurement? How has that been going? Not very good . . . I believe that he is way too young and inexperienced and if he is helping TT, he may suck just as bad as that fuck TT.

      1. MMTTDCSUCK November 23, 2016

        Also, just because Michael Jordan has a son, should he be then leading the Bulls back to a title game just by default? FUCK NO! Get NEW BLOOD and IDEAS in here now!

  7. ay hombre November 22, 2016

    Very interesting qualifier saying midseason.


  8. Squeezy November 22, 2016

    Oh, I pine for the days of Mikey Charmin when we started every season 1-4, 2-5 etc and were forced to play catch up all year long. Thankfully we have a cast of degenerates like HHCD, Burnett, Datone Jones to replace the Cletius Hunts and the Ahmad Carrols! Perhaps if Gravy Breath Mikey, and Retarded Mannequin Ted would adopt the winning GM philosophies of Mikey Charmin and keep a combined 8 FB and TEs on this team we could actually field a Super Bowl Team!!