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Is This the End of Our Main Man Cutty!?

You probably didn’t notice, but the Chicago Bears actually won a fucking game on Sunday. They beat the Detroit Lions and… does that really still count as a win?

Well, look at that. Apparently it does!

NFC North standings after four weeks

Yeah, we know. The Green Bay Packers’ last win also came against the Lions, but we were less than impressed after that win too.

You know, a win is a win!

Except, no. No it’s not.

Anyway, the Bears beat the Lions without our main man Cutty! at the helm. Frankly, we don’t even know how that’s possible. How can those turds win a game with the greatest signal caller and human being ever standing on the sidelines?

I mean…

CUTS MCGUTS!

Cutty!’s backup, Brian Hoyer, came in and threw for 302 yards and two touchdowns. He had a 120.1 rating. Honestly, I think it was just Cutty! wearing a Brian Hoyer costume, but the whole thing has Bears coach John Fox confused.

Fox sounds like he’s going to keep Cutty! dressed up as Brian Hoyer as his starting quarterback instead of giving the reins back Real Cutty! when Cutty! is again healthy enough to play.

PREPOSTEROUS!

You don’t sit Michael Jordan because Craig Hodges had a nice game when Michael was sidelined with some ailment. And thus, the Cutster must return to the starting lineup as soon as he’s available.

Who’s with me?

Bring back CUTTY!! Chicago football won’t be the same without him!

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Monty McMahon

Monty McMahon is one of the founders of Total Packers. He is probably the most famous graduate of UW-Oshkosh next to Jim Gantner.

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5 Comments

  1. PF4L October 3, 2016

    I have to call bullshit on this whole concept. I’m not ready to have already witnessed Cutty’s last game as a Chicago Bear.

    There was no time to prepare for this, no notice given at all. I an NOT cool without Cutty starting under center through 2020. He’s under contract GDI!!

    1. Empacador October 4, 2016

      Come on now, deep breaths. Is only a matter of time until Hoyer implodes and they revert back to status quo in Chicago. Cutty contract extension just around the corner!

      1. PF4L October 4, 2016

        lol….Look at his contract. It was custom tailored to cut him after this season. He’s history. I’m going to miss him.

        1. Empacador October 4, 2016

          Oh, I don’t care about his contract, I was being sarcastic. That simply seems like something the Bears would do. Play hard ball with guys like Forte, arguably their best offensive player back in the day, yet extend guys like Cutty. Who will throw to that awesome receiver they have in Kevin White?

          1. PF4L October 4, 2016

            Not to mention getting rid of Marshall, Bennett, Olson, hiring Trestman. This team always entertains me. ALWAYS. I love them!!