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Warning to Fans Going to the Vikings Game

The Minnesota Vikings’ first regular season game in their new stadium will be against the Green Bay Packers on September 18. Undoubtedly, there will be a contingent of Packers fans going to what should be an exciting event.

Maybe more exciting than they think.

We’ve already touched upon the new facility – how it came about when the old Metrodome roof kept caving in and how butt-ugly the new place is. Plus, there was the idiotic design idea of putting a rock bed next to some giant glass windows. We’re sure you know how that turned out.

In a charitable moment, however, we expressed relief that visiting Packers fans should at least not have to worry about whether the building is still holding up.

It now looks like we might have spoken too soon.

I just noticed an NBC Sports story from early July titled “Storm damages exterior panels at new Vikings Stadium.” During a routine summer rainstorm, it seems several large exterior panels came loose.

According to the article, stadium officials “couldn’t explain the situation,” but promised to reinstall the panels unless it turns out they need to be replaced.

A Vikings VP gave assurances that no panels had fallen yet, and that they’d “get to the bottom of it.”

Our advice to Packers fans planning on buying tickets to the game: consider taking out some short-term life insurance at the same time.

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Rob Born

I’m with Matt: “You gotta make those chunk plays!”

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4 Comments

  1. Packnutt August 25, 2016

    I’m coming from Los Angeles and will be there to witness the embarrassing display the ‘queens put forth in the Hormel chili can. The Pack picks them apart convincingly 35-10.

  2. Chad Lundberg August 25, 2016

    They took our division title last year, so this will be a all the sweeter victory.

  3. Killer August 26, 2016

    The apparent Packer jealousy of the Vikings new state-of-the-art stadium is mildly amusing. It is pretty radical with them there craaaaaaaaazy seats instead of the Lambeau Field modernistic benches. Also pretty crazy how, unlike Lambeau Field, it was built outside the time of horse and buggy. And where is that smell of Lambeau Field mold? If you can’t smell mold, what are you supposed to do, smell nothing?!

    There will be more to come, I’m sure:

    September: Rob Born breaks story on concourse decoration that appears slightly off center.
    October: Rob Born gets the scoop; after a game a smear of dirt was seen on the floor near one of the exits.
    November: Rob Born, having developed inside sources, reports the soda tap of one of the concession stands sticks at times causing brief overflows of soda.

  4. Tucson Packer August 28, 2016

    Oh yea man, again you are just so accurate. Packer fans are just so jealous of the Vikings already falling apart and killing people stadium. I don’t know how we have been able to hide our envy for so long!

    January-December: Killer says something predictable about how the Vikings and their zero Super Bowl trophies are somehow amazing yet will end up without a Lombardi at the end of the season yet again. This causes Killer to spiral even more into a state of blissful denial as the Vikings and Killer both strive for unprecedented levels of mediocrity.