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Here’s Blake Martinez and Selena Gomez

Look, I know next to nothing about Selena Gomez. I know she’s a singer and that I have no desire to listen to her music. If some asshole forced me to listen to top 40 radio and a Selena Gomez song came on, I would have no idea.

Couldn’t name one song. Couldn’t hum one tune.

The other thing I know about Selena Gomez is she’s smoking fucking hot. This is the only reason she’s relevant in my world.

Nice to look at. That’s all it takes.

I don’t even hold it against her that she let the Biebs plow her. I would Eskimo brother that right the fuck up!

And here’s Green Bay Packers linebacker Blake Martinez and his family getting some face time with Selena. Do you think he had the stones to make a move?

Also, did anyone know Fila was still around?

Mordecai Jones

Mordecai is a writer living in Los Angeles. He primarily writes screenplays, but also does crap like this because GREEN BAY PACKERS, baby!