Will Someone Sign James Jones, Goddammit!

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James Jones

The fondness for James Jones is strong around here and thus, it saddens us that our main man JJ remains unemployed.

That is not a huge surprise. With all the receivers the Green Bay Packers have stockpiled, we knew Jones wouldn’t be returning to Titletown in 2016. The guy is also 32 years old. That’s not ancient, but it’s getting up there for an NFL skill position player that doesn’t line up under center.

At the same time, here’s a guy who led the Packers in receiving yards (890) and touchdowns (8) in 2015. Jones also posted a robust 17.8 per reception.

Davante Adams doesn’t post 17 yards a reception during a wet dream.

My point here is, Jones can clearly still contribute.

Plus, he’s fucking awesome. Dude wears a goddam hoodie under his jersey.

Why?

Because he’s James Fuckin’ Jones!

Unfortunately, the NFL powers that be don’t currently see the value in Jones. The guy says he will literally play anywhere and no one is calling.

“I got me a Super Bowl ring,” Jones said. “I’d love to get another one. But my ultimate goal is to play 12 years. And I just want to get out there and play football. It doesn’t matter who it’s for. I just want to play.

“If it is a chance where I can get to a team that they’re a contender or we have a chance to win the Super Bowl, that’s awesome, too. Everybody thinks they’re going win the Super Bowl right now. I’m just trying to get somewhere to play.”

Give this man a job!

Someone!

We know there are teams out there with shitty receivers. Upgrade yourself to a James Jones model!

All the guy does is work hard, do what’s asked of him, keep his mouth shut and make plays.

Los Angeles, your receivers are DOG SHIT! San Francisco, your receivers are GARBAGE! Tennessee, your whole team is a pile of shit! Cleveland, just die already! Minnesota… well, no. Do not go to Minnesota, James.

Clearly, there are plenty of teams with shitty receivers and, apparently, shitty general managers who think their shitty receivers are better than James Jones.

Funny enough, Jones even expressed interest in playing for one of those teams with garbage receivers.

“I’m right here in San Francisco, in the Niners’ backyard,” Jones said. “You know what I mean? I’d love to stay here at home and play for the Niners – don’t have to move my family or any of that stuff. My kids get to stay in school. But, at the same time, I’m just ready to play. I’ll play wherever. I’m just ready to get it on.”

Cmon, San Francisco. It’s hoodie weather there all year round anyway. Your fans have nothing else to look forward to.

Give them some JJ!

About The Author

Mordecai is a writer living in Los Angeles. He primarily writes screenplays, but also does crap like this because GREEN BAY PACKERS, baby!