Type to search

Only Tolerable Minnesota Vikings Fan is Dead

Prince

We hate the Minnesota Vikings. The one thing we hate more than the Minnesota Vikings are Minnesota Vikings fans.

A more despicable, ignorant bunch has never assembled for one purpose in the history of mankind.

Vikings fans are quite simply the singular reason we despise that team like we do.

But there was one — and only one — Vikings fan that we found tolerable and we’re sad to hear that he passed away today.

We’re speaking, of course, of Prince.

The Sexy Motherfucker, himself.

Gone.

And that sucks.

I was lucky enough to see Prince perform live twice. Once at the Staples Center on the Musicology tour and once during his 21-Night Stand at The Forum in 2011. One of the best performers I have ever seen live, among hundreds.

And if you’re of a certain age, then you probably know what got me into Prince.

The greatest rock-and-roll movie ever, Purple Rain.

It’s still awesome today.

I like to think that since Prince was born in Minneapolis, he didn’t have any other choice but to be a Vikings fan. Just couldn’t help it. Kind of like getting leukemia.

I forgive him for the Vikings song he wrote. I will pretend it didn’t happen because he was so awesome in so many other ways. We’ll assume Jared Allen was holding a gun to his head.

Your only relevant member of society is gone, Vikings fans.

And while you guys can kiss my fucking ass, Prince will be missed by myself and millions of others.

He was 57.

Godspeed, brother.

Tags:
Monty McMahon

Monty McMahon is one of the founders of Total Packers. He is probably the most famous graduate of UW-Oshkosh next to Jim Gantner.

    1

24 Comments

  1. Cheese April 21, 2016

    What? Prince gone? That fuckin sucks. Not surprising that you tied a bunch of hateful nonsense to the story.

    1. Phatgzus April 21, 2016

      ^

    2. CTRonn April 23, 2016

      Truth.

  2. Skinny April 21, 2016

    That Prince and Michael Jackson ping pong story is amazing Monty.

  3. ItsATeamGame April 21, 2016

    He, like most Minnesota fans, died without seeing his team win a Super Bowl.

    1. Kozak April 22, 2016

      Most? Which Queens fans died seeing them as Super Bowl winners?

  4. billabong April 21, 2016

    musical genius and incredible live…also gave one of the better Super Bowl half time show….in the rain “Purple Rain”…

  5. Nacho Dan April 21, 2016

    Only tolerable Viking fan? What about Brett?

  6. TyKo Steamboat April 21, 2016

    My favorite work was his 1989 soundtrack to the Original (& real) Batman soundtrack
    Songs like “Elecrtic Chair, 200 Baloons, Batdance & Partyman” bumped at several of my more prominent house parties in the day.

  7. PF4L April 22, 2016

    Did the author describe Prince as a “sexy motherfucker”?

    Hmmm….Not that there’s anything wrong with that.

  8. MGP April 22, 2016

    “Godspeed, brother”. Amen.

    (Good post, Monty).

  9. Tom April 22, 2016

    Monty your an idiot, but then again so are all Packer fans.

  10. Abe Frohman April 22, 2016

    Unfortunately you have to add Brian Setzer to the very small list of cool Vikings fans.

  11. Deepsky April 22, 2016

    Prince was less horrible as time went on, than I thought of him in 1982.

  12. Viking April 23, 2016

    I love the strong hatred you guys have when we’re only 1 year into wiping you guys off the map . The days of the Packers owning the conversation on the north and the nfc is over . Hopefully you guys can at least secure #2 over the bears and the Lions. Skol vikings oh and rip prince.

  13. Brandon April 23, 2016

    This is a disgusting article. Football is just a damn game. Just disgusting.

  14. Salazar April 24, 2016

    Sign O’ The Times is a fucking masterpiece

  15. Merle B April 24, 2016

    Prince was Special! However, this story must have been written by a 2 year old. Did the Vikes kicking your ass to win the division last year hurt that bad that you went on this cry-baby tirade? A good example of what I typically see from Packer Fans.

  16. Nice post, guy. I hope you shit yourself when you get old.

  17. Derp April 24, 2016

    Green Bay is full of uncultured swine feeding off sticks of butter. I suppose I’d be a dipshit, over the top Pack fan too if that was the only thing to do there (besides eat sticks of butter).

  18. Vikingbeau April 25, 2016

    This blog really is pathetic. I know a lot of good packer fans that would politely ask you to please step off their side. You embarrassed yourself here….what a tool.

  19. MNpackerFAN April 25, 2016

    Love the Packers but this article is just plain garbage.

  20. p_U_c_K April 26, 2016

    I had to respond…

    https://purpleptsd.com/2016/04/24/totalpackers-com-only-tolerable-vikings-fan-dead/

    I am glad your readers reacted this way. I’m actually surprised that this article is still live and not erased after you sobered up. I guess the binge continues… Thatd ironically be the only excuse, otherwise you’re just a genuinely bad person. Man.

    Enjoy the article. I am happy to introduce you to actual wit.

  21. Joseph Capra June 5, 2016

    You’re a piece of shit.
    Fuck you.
    There, that just about covers it.