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Our Salute to Peyton Manning

You’ve probably heard. Denver Broncos quarterback Peyton Manning and his Fivehead are retiring. And after watching that geriatric sonofabitch try to throw a football last season, all I can say is, “It’s about damn time!”

Some people will try to tell you Peyton Manning is the greatest quarterback to have ever played. Those people are idiots. Statistically, Manning was great, but he wasn’t great in big games.

The only reason he has two Super Bowl victories is because of that 2015 Broncos defense and he played the other one against a team quarterbacked by Rex Grossman.

Peyton Manning has only three touchdown passes combined in those two Super Bowls. He has only two fourth-quarter comebacks in 27 playoff appearances and the same number of game-winning drives in the playoffs as Stan Humphries, Jeff Hostetler and Mark Sanchez (two).

In other words — and I’ve said this a million times — Peyton Manning was a playoff choker. And despite all of his gaudy stats, that disqualifies him from the all-time greatest conversation as far as I’m concerned.

In fact, off the top of my head, here’s a list of quarterbacks I consider to be hands-down superior to Peyton Manning.

  • Joe Montana
  • Tom Brady
  • Brett Favre
  • Dan Marino
  • Steve Young
  • Johnny Unitas
  • John Elway
  • Bart Starr

So maybe Peyton is the ninth best quarterback of all time.

Hey, that’s still pretty good.

In honor of the old Fivehead retiring, here’s our salute to Peyton Manning, with our favorite thing about Peyton Manning — Manningface.

Petyon Manningface manningface

Peyton Manning... face


Peyton Manning


Manning Face

Peyton Manningface

So long, Fivehead! So long, Manningface!

Monty McMahon

Monty McMahon is one of the founders of Total Packers. He is probably the most famous graduate of UW-Oshkosh next to Jim Gantner.



  1. Perrin March 6, 2016

    And those were only with the Broncos…

  2. Dave The Lions Fan March 6, 2016

    Statistically, he is the greatest QB ever. He isn’t a 5x MVP for no reason. He also has more Pro-Bowl appearances than any QB listed in this article. He also has more rings than Favre and Marino and as many championships as John Elway. Take in the fact that he also owns about every major career and season passing record there is, I think Manning cracks the top five for sure.

    Also, Starr and Unitas aren’t really “NFL” QB’s. They played and won most of their championships before the NFL was created, so for the sake of Manning being called the greatest QB in NFL history, they don’t really count.

    1. Cheese March 6, 2016

      The reason he has 5 mvps is because the media loves deep throating Mannings five head. He didn’t deserve to win it in 09′ that’s for sure.

      If you haven’t noticed the pro bowl is a fucking joke. Didn’t Teddy Bridgewater play in it this year? Or how about John Kuhn making it with 28 rushing yards for the whole season? A true measure of excellence that pro bowl.

      What were Mannings stats in the super bowl this year? Zero touchdowns and two interceptions? He can thank the defense for that ring, and he can thank Rex Grossman for the first one.

      The NFL was founded in 1920, so Starr and Unitas are definitely considered “NFL” QB’s. As for the super bowl era, Starr beat the AFL’s best twice, and Unitas did it as well so your argument that they don’t count is moot.

  3. Osseo, WI March 6, 2016

    He was a regular season nightmare for defenses. A fantasy football superstar. However, when the postseason rolled around he went down a peg or two instead of rising to the top.

  4. PF4L March 6, 2016

    Nice salute.

    I’ve read the words of Peyton’s peers in the NFL saluting him. Then i’ve read yours.

    Just wondering if you display the same kind of anger,bitterness and negativity through your travels in everyday life, as you do in your writings.

    You are a special kind of special.

  5. Dave The Lions Fan March 7, 2016

    Ok, Pro-Bowls don’t count. He has been a 1st Team All-Pro more than any of the QB’s on the list. You say that he didn’t win the SB’s for his team and I do agree with you, but he still has two rings. Can’t take that away from him.

    Plus, Starr and Unitas only have one SB combined. In the SB era, Manning is top 3 with Brady and Montana.

    1. Phatgzus March 7, 2016

      Starr has TWO SBs by himself, dumb fuck.

      1. Phatgzus March 7, 2016

        And Unitas has one.

  6. Dave The Lions Fan March 7, 2016

    Ok, so he has as many SB’s as Manning. Still not nearly the statistical QB Manning is so Manning still beats him for best QB in the SB era

  7. Kato March 7, 2016

    I would actually tend to agree with Dave here. And I can’t believe I am saying this. What Peyton did, was nothing short of spectacular. People put way too much weight into super bowl victories for qbs. Tom Brady lost to Eli twice. Flacco got hot at the right time and won a super bowl while Marino never won a ring. And I think Marino was twice the qb flacco will ever be. Also keep in mind elway lost like 3 super bowls, getting blown out, before he won back to back to end his career (with epic games from Terrell Davis). Peyton also won against Brady in the last three playoff matchups.

  8. Kato March 7, 2016

    I love Bart Starr (own his jersey) as much as any packers fan out there, but to claim he is better than manning is silly. Starr played on an absolutely loaded team with like a dozen HOFers on it, and often had the best defenses in the league along with a running game that was ranked near the top of the league. Oh and Vince Lombardi. Even trying to make a case for Favre being better is a tough one. Pretty equal in my mind, even though they were very different qbs. Remember after the 98 super bowl that Favre choked quite a bit in the playoffs.

  9. PF4L March 7, 2016

    Forget all the bullshit.

    At the end of the day, that’s one hell of a career, and one hell of a football player.

    Congrats Peyton Manning.

  10. rebelgb March 8, 2016

    Good arguments on both sides. Im no Peyton lover, but I have to be honest here: Peyton Manning is still the ONLY QB I have ever seen playing a football game where I said “my God, there is no possible way to stop this guy.” He had games like that. Never seen it with Brett, or Arodge. I mean ive seen those 2 guys do amazing shit and dominate football games; but not to the extent that I saw Manning absolutely CONTROL a football game. Like the other team should have just forfeted.

    Hats off to Manning.

    One last thing, as Packer fans we should put our heads in the sand when it comes to Mannings playoff record. Unfortunately our own HoF QB is on the same course.