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One Guess Who Ditka is Voting For

Mike Ditka ends the curse

Politics wore out their usefulness for me a long time ago, so don’t mistake this as some attempt to get political. We just think you should know who you’re throwing in with if you vote for one candidate or another.

Like, who is former Chicago Bears coach, insane person and on-air flatulence machine Mike Ditka voting for?

If you guessed Donald Trump… well, there was really no one else to guess, am I right?

Of course Ditka is voting for Trump!

Together, the two of them would really make America great again.

Not coincidentally, both men had their heyday in the 1980s. And that’s really part of the reason Ditka is voting for The Donald.

“Obama’s the worst president we’ve ever had,” Ditka said. “Barack Obama’s a fine man. I mean, he’s pleasant. He would be great to play golf with. He’s not a leader. This country needs leadership. It needs direction. It needs somebody that steps up front. We need somebody like Ronald Reagan.”

You see that right there?

Ronald Reagan.

Do you know when Ronald Reagan was president?

Wait for it….

1985!

Based on that rationale right there, ALL Chicago Bears fans are probably voting for Trump. Because he’s sure to bring back the…

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Joseph Bonham

Joseph is a fiction writer when he isn't doing this. In his spare time he likes to do manly things like drink beer and procreate.

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15 Comments

  1. Chad Lundberg March 7, 2016

    I’m not a big fan of Trump per se, I think the guy is a ego-maniac joke. But anyone over Hillary Corruption who tried to cover the death of 4 Americans, or Bernie Sanders who, if he had his way, would destroy capitalist infrastructure, which if you don’t know, includes businesses like the NFL. You’re not poor because the rich are rich Bernie!

    1. MMTTDCSUCK March 8, 2016

      Keep enjoying Faux News . . .

      1. Lynn Fuckin' Dickey March 8, 2016

        Holy FUCK what a savage response. You think of that “faux news” barb all by yourself, champion? So clever!

        1. MMTTDCSUCK March 8, 2016

          No smartass I did not. But you already knew that. It hurts you to hear/read the truth though . . . Mr. Savage response.

      2. Chad Lundberg March 8, 2016

        Keep enjoying your news from Comedy Central.

      3. Shawn March 8, 2016

        Actually, Trumpkins HATE Fox News. Keep up, brah.

        1. MMTTDCSUCK March 10, 2016

          I enjoy your lack of scope Shawn. Faux News is macro . . . Trump is micro. Faux News has inculcated most of you lemmings for the last 20 years. Trump is a effect of the cause (Faux News). They created these monsters, some of them are so jaded that they could care less about Faux News. “Frankenstein Meet My Monster” Feel schooled now.

          1. MMTTDCSUCK March 10, 2016

            a = an . . . typo

  2. Cuban March 8, 2016

    Yea faux news, as opposed to sanders who is gonna raise everyones taxes, put everyone on medicare, and create 13 million public sector jobs, oh but hes gonna give everyone free shit so let me vote for that

    1. MMTTDCSUCK March 8, 2016

      That still does not make it news . . . Another uniformed citizen I see . . .

  3. Cuban March 8, 2016

    Hell even obamas old economic adviser called sanders plan “puppies and rainbows”

    1. MMTTDCSUCK March 8, 2016

      That is because they want HRC in there. of course they will say something to that order.

  4. Cuban March 8, 2016

    Um, those numbers i gave were from sanders people btw, because they were mad at the independent reviews of his economic plan that said everyones taxes would go up and it would cost six million jobs in the long run, so maybe you wanna get a little more info, its funny how the only person backing sanders plan is another “socialist democrat” professor at umass

    1. MMTTDCSUCK March 10, 2016

      Yeah why don’t you check out how the Social Democracies in Scandinavia are doing . . . Then report back. If you people continue to want to be “fleeced” keep voting for the people that want to fuck you. In other words, keep voting Red.

  5. Cuban March 10, 2016

    Heres what i dont understand i drive down to nyc everyday for work where they have some of the highest taxes, they are constantly raising bridge toll rates, rates on the mta, and they are constantly ticketing the fuck out of every parked car. Yet, its one of the most expensive places to live, which confuses me because i thought higher taxes help the impoverished.

    btw new york is a blue state and its your 9-5 people who are the ones constantly getting fucked by all those raised tolls. So dont tell me for one fucking second that democrats give two fucking shits about you.