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My God, the Vikings Are a Bunch of Stupid Assholes

Minnesota Vikings Hormel Chili Dome

The Minnesota Vikings will open their stupid Hormel Chili Dome this year. Do you know where that shithole of a stadium is located?

It’s on Chicago Avenue in Minneapolis.

The only thing that could be better is if it were on Green Bay Packers Avenue or on whatever street the local hookers hang out. You know, then Vikings players could have easy access to companionship for their next boat trip on Lake Minnetonka.

Anyway, the shitbirds who run the Vikings have now decided they don’t want their address to be Chicago Avenue, so they’ve petitioned the City Council to change it to Vikings Way.

The City Council told them to go fuck themselves.

“My understanding of our policy here is that we don’t want private businesses to change the names of streets in front of their business,” said Council Member Lisa Bender. “So if this was a proposal for Target Way instead of Nicollet Avenue or Wells Fargo way instead of Chicago Avenue, would we expect to be recommending approval of this name change?”

That seems like legitimate rationale to us.

Ironically, if the street name did change, it would also change the address of the city morgue, which is at 530 Chicago Avenue. Frankly, they may as well just rename the section of the street where the morgue is to Vikings Way, since that’s where every Vikings season in all of history has wound up anyway.

Now, that would be appropriate.

As for renaming the street in front of the stadium, here’s what we don’t get.

These fucking morons have known where this stadium was going to be located for two years now. It just now occurred to them that, hmmmmm… maybe we don’t want our address to be on Chicago Avenue? Derrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr?

The level of stupidity is stupefying to witness.

But that’s why they’re the Minnesota Vikings, isn’t it?

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Monty McMahon

Monty McMahon is one of the founders of Total Packers. He is probably the most famous graduate of UW-Oshkosh next to Jim Gantner.

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13 Comments

  1. Abe Frohman March 17, 2016

    It wouldn’t have been terribly hard BEFORE the plans were finalized to make the deal contingent upon a street rename.

  2. Nugs March 17, 2016

    fuck-tards through and through!

  3. Stephen March 17, 2016

    Has our off season become this boring? Really? Making an issue over a stadium’s street name? By the way, as an architect and Packers fan I can comfortably say that this is a magnificent structure, regardless of its address.

    1. rebelgb March 17, 2016

      Really? I mean if im being 100% honest, its ugly as shit to me.

  4. Longrod VonHugendong March 17, 2016

    On every plan drawing used and created by the architects and engineers behind the design is the address of the project. On every page.

    Just sayin’

    Dumbass viqueefs

  5. Mark March 17, 2016

    I have to see this thing every morning

  6. vj March 17, 2016

    Looks like a buzzkill workout just climbing those all those steps.

  7. CO Bob March 17, 2016

    Name it after former players:
    Tarkenten St
    Jim Marshall St (if it’s a one way)
    -or….wait for it….
    -(insert recent former QB name) Way

  8. Killer March 19, 2016

    Poor research, Monty and a really crappy perspective.

    1st, changing the name was actually an understanding well before the stadium was built. Of course, they should have gotten it in writing.

    But, it is not accurate to say they “now decided”. I know reading is not one of the three skills of Wisconsinites (they are, in order of importance, 1) The ability to smell cheese curds from 18 feet away, 2) Cow Tipping, and, 3) Ability to walk without having any sensation from the waist down.) but you could have read more than the first paragraphs of just one of the articles and known that.

    Anyway, it is reasonable for the Vikings to attempt to get the name change and very reasonable for it to be blocked. They make a good point that they would not do it for other businesses. A point not made is the vast inconvenience to so many others if their address changes — mailboxes, business cards, signs, incorrect advertising, erroneous yellow pages, etc. It would damage many other businesses.

    Oddly, the Vikes were right to try to get the change but also did the responsible thing and withdrew the request when given better perspective. This was the best site so, obviously, had they known all along it would remain Chicago avenue, they still would have built there.

    Besides, we all know street names are not accurate, nor do they foretell the future. If they were and did the streets around Lambeau Field would be named “Not as Many NFC North Championships as the Vikings Avenue” and “World’s Whiniest Fans Boulevard”.

    Monty, every little thing you are like the princess who can feel the little pea under all those mattresses. Dude, you need to medicate yourself or you will end up in an early grave.

    1. Phatgzus March 19, 2016

      “Not as Many NFC North Championships as the Vikings Avenue”
      Laughing. My. Fucking. Cheese. Curd-Eating. Domestic. Beer-Drinking. Ass. Off.

      You’re right, MAYBE not the best choice in street names; one should be entitled “ELEVEN More World Championships Than the Vikings Avenue”. THANK YOU for the perspective.

  9. warshire March 19, 2016

    You guys need a hobby, this can’t be how you really waste your day, photo shop a 12 year can do, talking about an old joke while ignoring your own checkered past and your addiction to chili. The Vikings withdrew the request and meant it as a joke, streets get changed like that all the time, get a job you hippies

  10. Andy Pants March 20, 2016

    Well, after receiving millions in public money to build the damn stadium, is it really a stretch to assume that they could also rename a public road? My two cents is that the public money is a far more ridiculous thing, and, yes, I say the same for the Packers (or any public team). The problem with comparing this to Wells Fargo or Target is that they probably did not receive millions of public dollars to build their office buildings either.

  11. Andy Pants March 20, 2016

    Edit *private* sports team, not public team.