Those Hormel Chili-stained fuckwads over in Minneapolis are getting a new home for their beloved Minnesota Vikings and that home is nearly complete.
Yes, the Vikings — who are not unlike a college team — won’t be playing in college stadium anymore when the 2016 NFL season begins.
They’ll be playing in the Hormel Chili Dome. We’ve heard there will be statues of dudes fucking sheep and Adrian Peterson battering one of his many illegitimate children outside of this shithole.
There will also be a giant can of Hamm’s somewhere.
Gotta pay tribute to the Minnesota legends, you know.
The Vikings better bolt those down or that senile old fuck Bud Grant will steal them and try to sell them at his annual garage sale.
“Bud, um, these belong to the Vikings. You can’t sell them at your garage sale.”
“Fuck you, Lombardi! I took the Vikings to four Super Bowls! I didn’t win a goddam one of them, but the fact that I finished in second place multiple times makes me the greatest Viking to ever live by a long shot. Now get off my lawn!”
What does this fucking dump look like?
Well, see for yourself…
The Hyundai Club is my favorite. Nothing like naming the luxury area of your second-rate franchise’s second-rate stadium after a second-rate car.
Oh, and then let’s bathe it purple accents.
Yes, this entire thing is enclosed in glass. Both the sides and the roof because the Vikings wanted to keep their long tradition of not playing football outside like men intact.
The only thing that could possibly make this any better is if it were built on a sinkhole and disappeared into the earth with that shit stain of a franchise inside of it.