Those Hormel Chili-stained fuckwads over in Minneapolis are getting a new home for their beloved Minnesota Vikings and that home is nearly complete.
Yes, the Vikings — who are not unlike a college team — won’t be playing in college stadium anymore when the 2016 NFL season begins.
They’ll be playing in the Hormel Chili Dome. We’ve heard there will be statues of dudes fucking sheep and Adrian Peterson battering one of his many illegitimate children outside of this shithole.
There will also be a giant can of Hamm’s somewhere.
Gotta pay tribute to the Minnesota legends, you know.
The Vikings better bolt those down or that senile old fuck Bud Grant will steal them and try to sell them at his annual garage sale.
“Bud, um, these belong to the Vikings. You can’t sell them at your garage sale.”
“Fuck you, Lombardi! I took the Vikings to four Super Bowls! I didn’t win a goddam one of them, but the fact that I finished in second place multiple times makes me the greatest Viking to ever live by a long shot. Now get off my lawn!”
What does this fucking dump look like?
Well, see for yourself…
U.S. Bank Stadium, the Vikings' new home, is 90 percent complete, with a grand opening… https://t.co/GoLcXYWvcP pic.twitter.com/fVVxfiA0Zi
— Ben Goessling (@GoesslingESPN) February 16, 2016
The part you're all concerned about: the view from the press box. pic.twitter.com/SwZbnGWbIi
— Ben Goessling (@GoesslingESPN) February 16, 2016
Looking east from Club Purple. There will eventually be couches in the seats over here. pic.twitter.com/ueGrbp3POQ
— Ben Goessling (@GoesslingESPN) February 16, 2016
View of the Hyundai Club, on the north sideline: pic.twitter.com/QjIEA86Teq
— Ben Goessling (@GoesslingESPN) February 16, 2016
The Hyundai Club is my favorite. Nothing like naming the luxury area of your second-rate franchise’s second-rate stadium after a second-rate car.
Oh, and then let’s bathe it purple accents.
Pure class.
Looking west toward downtown, from the pivoting glass doors: pic.twitter.com/sOXLTqxZPv
— Ben Goessling (@GoesslingESPN) February 16, 2016
Yes, this entire thing is enclosed in glass. Both the sides and the roof because the Vikings wanted to keep their long tradition of not playing football outside like men intact.
The only thing that could possibly make this any better is if it were built on a sinkhole and disappeared into the earth with that shit stain of a franchise inside of it.
EN 
ES 
FR 
NL 
DE
Holy bitterness bro…. It’s just a stadium. Who cares..
It’s ‘not just a stadium’ – it’s a den of ignorance, incest and unholiness.
Plenty of room for the Vikings 4 NFC title banners in there.
Looks like a corny stripclub inside at the Hyundai Club.
I hear there’s a Lazy River Cruise with Anamatronic hookers…
Ha!
Could NOT have said it better myself Monty. And the State of HaHaHockey will demand that we all bow at the sight of their architectural genius.
As a Packet fan living in Minneapolis, I am forced to pay for this thing :(
As a packer fan living in St. Paul, I would ask that you leave Hamms out of this.
Let’s just call it what it is. The Hormel Chili Diarrhea Dome.
I don’t know why I read any of the obscenity filled horseshit you write. It’s a pretty cool stadium dude. Doesn’t mean you have to be a Vikings fan if you admit that. Literally every thing you write you just call people dipshits or fuckwads or assclowns or some other stupid insult. I hate the Vikings. But even moreso I hate the fact that a talentless, whiny fuckdick shithole cockbag asshat like you is in someway representative of the team and fan base I love. Fuck you Monty.
Let the migratory bird holocaust begin.
Where is the new big horn since the old one froze? No worries on that happening again playing inside. Babies
Makes me want to close my bank account. But it is fun laughing at them every year. This last year field goal call is the best for me anytime I’m depressed I play it and laugh my ass off.
I had a customer in from Minnesota that I knew was just jerking us around to have another proposal and wasn’t going to give us the contract.
I changed my ringtone to that playcall the entire day we were together. Shitbag.