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Packers Put Montgomery Out of His Misery, Activate Gifts

Ty Montgomery

The Green Bay Packers took Ty Montgomery out behind the barn, tied him to a tree and fired two shotgun blasts into his ailing carcass on Monday.

They then slit his throat and let him bleed out.

Thus ended the 2015 campaign of the rookie receiver.

Actually, that’s one way they butchered cattle when I was a kid. My seven-year-old self will never forget the day dear old dad showed me how that was done.

Anyway, the way things were going with Montgomery, it’s about time the Packers put him out of his misery. That’s what they did on Monday when they finally put him on injured reserve. The guy hasn’t played since week 6 and every time he tries to come back, he gets injured again.

And while that may be sad, the corresponding roster move is sure to put some pep in your step.

That’s right. Your boy is back!

Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwww yeah!

God’s Motherfuckin’ Gifts, beatch!

All-world tight end and all-around class act!

Back to save the day!

Andrew Quarless

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Monty McMahon

Monty McMahon is one of the founders of Total Packers. He is probably the most famous graduate of UW-Oshkosh next to Jim Gantner.

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5 Comments

  1. Bobby d December 21, 2015

    I think Vince took a pic of Ron Kramer about 50 years ago that looked just like that. …..guess the White Rat figured Adams & Monty were going to light it up. Rodgers is getting Favred! Miss the last 10 games with a high ankle? And the other can’t get open or catch it when he does. What the fuck?????

  2. Andy Pants December 21, 2015

    My Christmas wish came true.

  3. gort December 21, 2015

    Was he looking for his concealed carry weapon in the photo?

  4. Shawn December 21, 2015

    Never quite got the handle on that injury, did we?

  5. The Money Mike December 23, 2015

    “The Green Bay Packers took Ty Montgomery out behind the barn, tied him to a tree and fired two shotgun blasts into his ailing carcass on Monday.” HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA