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Ted Thompson Just Wet Himself!

Ted Thompson is all business

Green Bay Packers general manager Ted Thompson, AKA Trader Ted, wet his pants today.

Couldn’t control his bladder like a giddy puppy after hearing he’ll now be able to deal compensatory draft picks.

Compensatory draft picks are doled out to teams — based on some top-secret formula — who lose more free agents than they sign. So, since the Packers never sign a single goddam free agent, they always have one or two compensatory draft picks each year.

And what do we know about Big Ted?

Right up there next to refusing to sign free agents, the thing he loves best is stockpiling draft picks.

Doesn’t care where they are. Just that he has as many as possible.

Might just up and trade the Packers’ second and third for two fourths, six sixths and four sevenths. Because it’s not where you draft, but how often you draft!

I’m Big Ted and I’m doublin’ the fuck down!

The 2016 draft will be the first draft in which teams will actually be able their compensatory picks.

So, look for a flurry of trades from the Pack.

Monty McMahon

Monty McMahon is one of the founders of Total Packers. He is probably the most famous graduate of UW-Oshkosh next to Jim Gantner.



  1. Ted November 19, 2015

    And use all those 5th through 7th rounders on ILBs and Olineman. I can just hear the conversation in the draft room. “Ted, guy they call the beast is still there, led the NCAA in tackles and sacks last year and he can cover, big time player, its the 2nd round, lets go get him.” Ted responds, “yea its the second round though, didn’t you think Palmer was ascending there in week 14, id hate to let that kid go, and I really would like to keep that extra 6th round pick it would take to seal the deal. You know AJ got released by the Bengals today, thinking I should bring him back for the vet minimum, that’s good value in my book.”

  2. MMTTDCSUCK November 19, 2015

    Lol! seems appropriate for the “frugal GM” . . . Geesh. What a fucking clown . . .

  3. Big Gay Clay November 19, 2015

    Don’t you mean he just busted a nut? Guys dont wet themselves

  4. Zwoeger November 20, 2015

    He looks to me as a guy who likes it more to get wetted.