Ragnar, the piece of shit who perfectly personifies Minnesota Vikings fans and also that blight of a team’s mascot since 1994, is out.
If you’re unfamiliar with this fuck stain, go back and read this genius profile Steffen wrote on him back in 2008.
Here’s an excerpt that pretty much sums up Ragnar’s existence.
On top of it all, they play this stupid sound again and again and again during their home games to get their mouth-breathing fans pumped up. And who is bumbling around on the sidelines coaxing them on? None of the than the stupidest mascot in football, Ragnar.
Is Ragnar a real Viking, thawed from a glacier in the arctic? No. His real name is Joseph Jurantich. He’s originally from Milwaukee, so on top of being the official mascot of the Minnesota Vikings, he is also a traitor.
So the Queens opened their home slate on Sunday and guess what? No Ragnar.
Naturally, their sheep-fucking, mouth-breathing fanbase was irate. Because how can we know what to do at a football game without Ragnar!?!
Here’s a sample.
@Vikings where was Ragnar today?? I'd rather have him than cheerleaders! He's the soul of the team! #BringBackRagnar #vikings
— jensen jewel (@campari327) September 21, 2015
You see that?
Soul of the team.
It’s a pretty sad state of affairs when this dickwad is the soul of your team, but hey, Minnesota Vikings…
[fb_embed_post href=”https://www.facebook.com/443215990523/photos/a.10152143905930524.916713.443215990523/10156019130125524/?type=1&theater/” width=”480″/]
So yeah, Ragnar had to watch his shitty team play on television, which is what most people who don’t devote their lives to looking like a fucking viking do. We feel real bad for you, Ragnar.
Tears have been shed.
In reality, that Facebook post was just a cry for attention.
It got the idiot fanbase fired up and many demanded that the shittiest organization in all of sports explain themselves.
You know, because Ragnar insinuated he wanted to keep getting paid and getting into home games for free by being a goddam sideshow attraction. And how dare the big, bad Queens not let him!
Well, turns out, as you probably expected, this was about money.
Sources say Ragnar was asking for $20K per game from Vikings over next 10 yrs. That's $1.6M for 8 reg season home games.
— Jon Krawczynski (@JonKrawczynski) September 22, 2015
Hahahahahahahahaha!
RAGNAR WILL NOT BE UNDERVALUED!
Seriously, that shitdick wanted $20K a game for his mascoting services.
For once, we actually agree with something the Queens have done.
Fuck off and die, Ragnar!
Good fucking riddance!
Dan Le Batard says Ragnar is in a contract dispute with the team. His current salary was $1,500 per game, and he just turned down a 10 year, $21,000 per game deal.
The Vikings had to pay someone to be a mascot? And $20K a game!! I’m sure they can find someone in Minnesota who can cut up a Goodwill fur coat, working for beer money and ticket.
Oops, he’s asking for a 10 year $21,000 deal, not turned it down.
I bet some one got the zero’s wrong.
Hard to believe he would ask for a raise of 18,500.
For 1,500 a game I would blow that fuckin horn in my underwear if the Vikings asked me too.
Ah, ah, ah…very good.
He’s from Milwaukee and is a Viqueens fan?? Really? Why follow those purple dipshits and be a fucking traitor…..
Thats 1.6 million for 80 home games.
#mathematics
It’s got to be pretty fucking bad to be a vikings fan, when you celebrate not being in last place. This is gold Jerry…Gold.
RAGNAR
December 29, 2014 ·
Happy New Year Vikings Fans!! We pulled it off…were not in last place.
After reading all of this, once again I reach the conclusion that I am so glad that they are the Queens and I am not…..
This will give him some time to look up Jared Allen and they can reminisce about the herd of sheep that got away.
I was trying to be positive about the sheep that got away. My guess is the hillbilly duo nailed every Ewe they came across.
You Packer fans are the biggest bunch of inbred retards to walk the earth. I’m actually amazed they teach you fuckwads how to fire up a computer and use the internet over there. I can’t wait until Sharon Rodgers breaks his leg and the Packqueers miss the playoffs.
Like the Vikings for like 3 decades running?
Jason, run to the living room, quick! AP is beating the bloody piss out of your child and Bryant McKinnie is taking your wife on the love boat!
Ragnar sad.
What in the actual fuck did I just read? Please tell me the author of this isn’t getting paid. Good lord I don’t ever think I’ve been happier to call myself a Viking fan. Thanks for the confirmation! !
Is that you, Ragnar?
In all seriousness though, I can understand why you’d be happy to be a Viking fan this year-they might actually make it to .500.
The author doesn’t care what you think Stick! Lol
Jason sounds like he might be a fan of a real shitty team like the Vikings..
Ragnar miscalculated.
You emulate ever retarded assaholic Packer fan I have known. That is why I will never be a Packer fan …
And you, sadly, epitomize* the very best of the ignorant Rikers Island cesspool that is the Vikings fanbase.