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Datone Jones Tried to Pull His Packers Card with Cops

Don’t you know who I am?!

That’s what Green Bay Packers defensive end Datone Jones reportedly asked the police after they caught him with a bag of weed.

That bag of weed resulted in a citation, but also cost Jones the first game of the season. He was suspended by the league for the incident last week.

According to the Press-Gazette, Jones was cited at 12:29 a.m. on January 19. That was literally hours after the team returned to Green Bay following their crushing defeat in Seattle. And frankly, we fully understand wanting to get fucked right up.

Johnny Law did not understand that, though.

Neither did the woman who called and reported Jones, who was sitting in his Jeep in an apartment complex parking lot blasting music and getting stoned.

I think we’ve been over this before, but let’s go over it again. If you’re an NFL player, have someone else acquire your drugs for you. Have that person bring those drugs back to your place where you can get high in private. You can afford to pay this drug mule. Then you won’t be arrested or suspended by the league.

Of course, Jones tried to avoid that fate by pulling his Packers card.

He reportedly “became emotionally upset, and told officers he was the first-round draft pick of the Green Bay Packers.”

And the cops were like, sure you are. Then how come I’ve never seen you make a play?

And Jones had no answer for that.

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Monty McMahon

Monty McMahon is one of the founders of Total Packers. He is probably the most famous graduate of UW-Oshkosh next to Jim Gantner.

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6 Comments

  1. BZ in BA July 7, 2015

    “He reportedly “became emotionally upset, and told officers he was the first-round draft pick of the Green Bay Packers.”

    And the cops were like, sure you are. Then how come I’ve never seen you make a play?

    And Jones had no answer for that.”

    HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! The cops didn’t recognize him because he never makes plays! If he had made a critical play in Seattle, none of this would have never happened….

  2. Seal July 7, 2015

    Come on bruh, its me, I am Dat One, (officer shaking head no), you never heard of me? Packers, A-Rodge, Brent Favre, (officer still shaking his head no) Im part of the D Line rotation for the Pack bruh, you still busting me for a little a little J, come on man, I played 5 snaps in the game yesterday, I was stressed.

  3. Abe Frohman July 7, 2015

    He wasn’t picked up for buying it. He already had it. I have to question the brains behind sitting in your car smoking it with the music blaring and drawing attention to yourself. How about just smoking that shit at home? Get the Taco Bell first, of course.

  4. kato July 7, 2015

    Wow. Of course the cop wouldnt let him off! Never heard of him since he never makes plays

  5. Phillthy July 8, 2015

    Dipshit move drawing attention to yourself.

  6. I make a urinal cake birthday cake for my piss buddy NigeriaGuest. We swapped diaper stories and ate everything in those little bundles of joy. Also delicious semen.