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Be Thankful You’re Not an Indianapolis Colts Fan

I have long maintained that the Indianapolis Colts are a joke of an NFL franchise.

The origin of this opinion can be traced back to the day I learned which players were in the Colts Ring of Honor. Although the group has improved with the recent additions of Eric Dickerson (who’s really more of a Los Angeles Ram), Marshall Faulk (who’s really more of a St. Louis Ram) and Marvin Harrison (who probably murdered someone), overall, it remains a total joke.

The first guy inducted was Robert Irsay, the douchebag who moved the Colts from Baltimore and threw away that entire team history when he did so. I mean, Johnny U should be in your goddam Ring of Honor, but he can’t be because this dick packed up some moving trucks in the middle of the night and drove off to Indianapolis.

So who gets Johnny U or Raymond Berry or the other actual great players who played for the Colts?


Oh, and Robert Irsay was inducted into said Ring of Honor by his drug-addled son Jim, who will one day probably induct himself into the fraternity.

Because Jim Irsay is the man! Just ask Jim Irsay!

Anyway, Bill Brooks and, get this, Jim Harbaugh are also in the Colts Ring of Honor.

Did you know that those two guys combined for one Pro Bowl berth in their entire careers?

Yup. Totally Ring of Honor material!

So compare this with the Green Bay Packers equivalent. It isn’t officially called the Ring of Honor, but a number of names of former players appear on the facade on the inside of Lambeau Field. And as you surely know, each and every one of those guys is in the Pro Football Hall of Fame (or about to be inducted).

Not the Packers Hall of Fame. The Pro Football Hall of Fame.

In comparison, the Colts are pretty obviously pathetic.

Do you know what else is pathetic?

This right here.


Yeah, that’s right.

These shitbags just raised a banner because they made it to the AFC title game last season.

Didn’t win it. Aren’t AFC champions.

But they played in it.

And that’s totally banner-worthy, isn’t it?

Did all the players get participation ribbons when the season ended too?

I tell you what Indianapolis. You do win at one thing, though.

And that’s setting the bar really fucking low.

You’re approaching Detroit Lions territory.

Monty McMahon

Monty McMahon is one of the founders of Total Packers. He is probably the most famous graduate of UW-Oshkosh next to Jim Gantner.

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  1. shawn June 12, 2015

    Actually, I’ll be the minority here, but I think we are too much an all or nothing society. Reaching a conference championship is an accomplishment, and there is nothing wrong with celebrating it. There are 28 teams in the league that wish they were there. There are franchises in this league that haven’t made a conference championship since the conferences were created.
    Now, when your franchise has won 13 NFL Championships, yeah, you don’t spend time celebrating non-championships, but if you are the Colts? Sure.
    I wouldn’t leave it up permanently, but for a year or two? Sure.

  2. Ron Holt June 12, 2015

    Hey Monty, (Is that a real name?,Monty?) Well anyway, You sure are a real man there,Monty. It’s people like you that give fan bases a bad name. It’s no wonder some fans get the hell beat out of them at some sports venues. You sir,(and I use the term sir only because I was brought up that way) are an absolute POS and probably drawn a bullseye on your own back by being a complete and total idiot.The Colts franchise is one of the classiest in the NFL,but you wouldn’t know that because you’re too busy berating them. Oh, and by the way the only shitbag in the room is YOU. The ire you draw from the Colts the next time they play Greenbay should be astounding! And it will more than likely come from your putrid excuse for a sports column. I used to be a Greenbay fan but, after this I’m a Colts fan forever. Thanks for the enlightenment!

  3. bob June 12, 2015

    ron holt. . . there is only one thing worse than continuing to hate on others because it makes you feel good and made you popular in high school, and that is being a fair weather fan. You can change your hair color, your religion, your citizenship or your wife, but if you had ever been a true fan you wouldn’t change your team. 

  4. coltsfan since94 June 13, 2015

    What kind of Jerk off writer doesn’t even leave his name on their crap? Who is this joke of a reporter?

  5. Howard June 13, 2015

    Jeez,, it is highly doubtful that any Colt player or fan would be reading Total Packers except Ron. This article could not remotely be considered bulletin board material for the next Game between the teams. Sounds slightly delusional Ron. Good luck with your new team. I really do like the Colts head coach, he has gone through a tough battle and has shown a strong will and is an inspiration to many who have similar fights in their lives.

  6. Nicholas Tweed June 14, 2015

    It’s a shame that you spent the time to attempt to belittle the accomplishments of a talented but flawed squad which achieved more than was expected of them. It’s an even bigger shame that I spent the time reading it.

  7. Brad June 14, 2015

    Colts fan here. Just came across this reading through some Colts stories. Jeez Monty. This kind of bizarre hit-piece against the Colts is something we expect out of New England, not Green Bay. I like the Pack (and I’m guessing I’d like almost all of their fans, like most NFL teams), but you seem like a pretty weird, overly aggressive dude. I don’t really care to engage in most of your hyperbole, but there is one matter here that I hope most Packers fans don’t take to heart. It’s a little strange that the move out of Baltimore still has this dirty reputation. You should read up on the history of that ordeal. You realize the Colts were snuck out of Baltimore in the middle of the night because the state police were going to be ordered to, I shit you not, CONFISCATE the team, right? The Maryland legislature had voted to do so. The history of that whole mess, as usually reported, is very warped. There’s a good, well-sourced Wikipedia article, in case you’re interested. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Baltimore_Colts_relocation_to_Indianapolis

  8. Marvin Harrison June 14, 2015

    First off I excuse you for your lack of knowledge, not all fan bases can have an original team with lots of loar and background history.

    However, if Baltimore hadn’t tried to take the Colts through Eminent domain Bob irsay wouldn’t have moved the team to Indianapolis in the dead of night. As an American, i respect his enginuity to one up the government. Look into it if you don’t know, they wanted like 50,000 dollars to update the stadium in Baltimore for the fans and the city balked because of a dislike of the irsay clan, short sighted indeed.

    Second of all, if the term colts or Indianapolis is in the title of the article, a simple search of those terms brings this trash of a pile on article into the world of possible bulletin board materials, to bad it’s not the 16-17 season, then we (colts would play the packers again)(remember the packs epic meltdown and lose to a rookie a few years back, I know I do)

    Third, your trolling is getting you paid so bravo!