I have long maintained that the Indianapolis Colts are a joke of an NFL franchise.
The origin of this opinion can be traced back to the day I learned which players were in the Colts Ring of Honor. Although the group has improved with the recent additions of Eric Dickerson (who’s really more of a Los Angeles Ram), Marshall Faulk (who’s really more of a St. Louis Ram) and Marvin Harrison (who probably murdered someone), overall, it remains a total joke.
The first guy inducted was Robert Irsay, the douchebag who moved the Colts from Baltimore and threw away that entire team history when he did so. I mean, Johnny U should be in your goddam Ring of Honor, but he can’t be because this dick packed up some moving trucks in the middle of the night and drove off to Indianapolis.
So who gets Johnny U or Raymond Berry or the other actual great players who played for the Colts?
Oh, and Robert Irsay was inducted into said Ring of Honor by his drug-addled son Jim, who will one day probably induct himself into the fraternity.
Because Jim Irsay is the man! Just ask Jim Irsay!
Anyway, Bill Brooks and, get this, Jim Harbaugh are also in the Colts Ring of Honor.
Did you know that those two guys combined for one Pro Bowl berth in their entire careers?
Yup. Totally Ring of Honor material!
So compare this with the Green Bay Packers equivalent. It isn’t officially called the Ring of Honor, but a number of names of former players appear on the facade on the inside of Lambeau Field. And as you surely know, each and every one of those guys is in the Pro Football Hall of Fame (or about to be inducted).
Not the Packers Hall of Fame. The Pro Football Hall of Fame.
In comparison, the Colts are pretty obviously pathetic.
Do you know what else is pathetic?
This right here.
Yeah, that’s right.
These shitbags just raised a banner because they made it to the AFC title game last season.
Didn’t win it. Aren’t AFC champions.
But they played in it.
And that’s totally banner-worthy, isn’t it?
Did all the players get participation ribbons when the season ended too?
I tell you what Indianapolis. You do win at one thing, though.
And that’s setting the bar really fucking low.
You’re approaching Detroit Lions territory.