Andrew Quarless is Doing CrossFit, So…

This is totally the year the Green Bay Packers will see something other than mediocrity from Andrew Quarless!

And it will be all thanks to CrossFit!

Don’t worry if you don’t know what CrossFit is. You don’t want to know. It’s the stupidest fitness craze there is.

People who do CrossFit are somehow all brainwashed. It’s like they joined the Church of Scientology.

Once you get into CrossFit, then that’s your life. You must preach the gospel of CrossFit. You must make sure everyone knows when you are doing CrossFit. You must post videos of yourself doing CrossFit on Facebook when you’re done doing CrossFit, so everyone can be appropriately impressed that you have done CrossFit.

Seriously, I know a couple broads who do CrossFit. And yeah, they look real good, but they’re always junking up my Facebook feed with their stupid fucking CrossFit photos and videos.

I’ve got news for you CrossFit idiots.

No one gives a shit that you’re doing CrossFit. No one gives a shit that you worked out today or what you did during that workout. No one wants to see a replay of that workout.

I worked out this morning. I didn’t feel the need to tell anyone about it or post a video about it. I just did it because it felt good.

But that’s the difference between someone who works out and someone who does CrossFit. The cult of CrossFit dictates that everyone must be inundated with your CrossFit bullshit.

No more, I say!

You all can go right ahead and jam CrossFit up your ass!

And as for you, Andrew Quarless… well, you’re fucking cut!