You would have shit if that said Aaron Rodgers, wouldn’t you? No, it’s Jordan Rodgers, Aaron’s younger brother.
That Rodgers has decided he’s done playing football.
Do you know why?
Hollywood, motherfucker!
Yeah, that’s right. Jordan Rodgers was the sixth wheel in that whole Pitch Perfect 2 deal. The obtuse one. The one that didn’t actually play for the Green Bay Packers.
I’m kidding, of course. We have no idea what the younger Rodgers’ plans are.
He was on the roster of the CFL’s British Columbia Lions until he informed them he wouldn’t be playing in 2015, earlier this week. Jordan had short NFL stints with Jacksonville, Tampa and Miami because apparently they love JRodge in Florida.
However, the only meaningful NFL time he did was on Tampa’s practice squad during the 2013 season. Those stops in Miami and Jacksonville were here today, gone tomorrow.
Now, while we don’t know what Jordan Rodgers has planned for the future, we do have some ideas…
- Aaron’s caddy
- Stand around and look good, leer creepily at high school girls
- Josh Sitton’s designated drain declogger
- Beg Elizabeth Banks for a role in Pitch Perfect 3 as “Handsome Janitor”
- Clay Matthews’ fluffer
- Park van in field, bet nephew he can throw a football “over those mountains”
- Start referring to himself as “Drama,” follow Aaron round, catch run-off vagina
The possibilities are almost endless!
Ha! Great article.
Fantastic article.
“Clay Mathews Fluffer” ?
Can this author be more of a backwoods hillbilly hate filled redneck? I guess you can take the hillbilly out of the woods, but at the end of the day, he’s still a hillbilly. Iv’e never seen anyone get his jolly’s out of hating on athlete’s, their family and their friends than this D Bag.
Maybe he “heard” through the Hollywood gossip mill that Jordan Rodgers isn’t a nice person (Olivia Munn), so he’s fair game.
Who is this “we” you speak of? Do you have a Teddy bear named Ted?