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Vikings and Adrian Peterson are Officially a Soap Opera

I really don’t care to summarize the entire Adrian Peterson saga, but he and the Minnesota Vikings have officially become a soap opera.

Of course, what else would you expect from that assclown of an organization?

Nothing. That’s what.

First-class assclownery all the way, baby!

Here’s the brief synopsis.

Adrian Peterson is a child abuser. He’s charged with a felony for abusing one of his sons, but agrees to a plea deal to reduce that charge to a misdemeanor. Peterson, probably unjustly, gets suspended by the NFL for the majority of the 2014 season. And not unjust because of his actions, but unjust because he was a free man and not allowed to go back to work by a body with no legal authority.

Anyway, at the combine, there’s a confrontation between Peterson’s agent and a Viking official. The agent is overheard saying Peterson will never play for the Vikings again. Late last month, Peterson gets reinstated by the NFL.

Today, Vikings coach Mike Zimmer and GM Rick Spielman flew to Peterson’s home in Houston to give him big hugs.

Adrian Peterson gets hugs

Adrian Peterson gets hugs

Because why wouldn’t the Vikings want to make up with their child abusing superstar?

Abusing kids doesn’t matter, so long as you’re really good at football! And so long as you play for a franchise as desperate and despicable as the Vikings!

Monty McMahon

Monty McMahon is one of the founders of Total Packers. He is probably the most famous graduate of UW-Oshkosh next to Jim Gantner.



  1. SkolVikingsLetsGo March 4, 2015

    You’re just a class act all the way buddy.

  2. Mick March 4, 2015

    why didn’t they send Ryan longwell and Jared Allen too?

  3. Shawn Neuser March 4, 2015

    The only reason AP was suspended all year was because of Ray Rice knocking out his GF and the media finally deciding that they cared about players beating their significant others, which has been a rich NFL tradition for its entire existence that was pretty much ignored by the player-biased media.

    1. PF4L March 4, 2015

      Ummm…The other reason might have been, because he beat the F out of a 4 year old child. Or is it always because of someone else.

      I guess being “suspended” these days mean you sit at home and collect over 12 million.

      1. Shawn Neuser March 5, 2015

        AP deserved a suspension. Don’t get me wrong. I think beating a child is worse than knocking out a crazy bitch like Tamara Rice any day. But that doesn’t change the fact that AP was forced to sit the whole season because of WHEN it happened. If it had happened the season before, he would have gotten a suspension and then returned to play.

  4. PF4L March 4, 2015

    “But unjust because he was a free man and not allowed to go back to work by a body with no legal authority.”

    NFL contracts and collective bargaining agreements aren’t legal? Why?…Are they written in crayon?…douche

    In other news…..if my memory serves me correct, didn’t the Packers go through this same drama when Favre wasn’t happy? Didn’t TT and MM fly out to kiss and hug Favre at one point in the past?

    1. Bearmeat March 4, 2015

      No. TT and MM never did that. As a matter of fact, BF had to fly to GB in the middle of the 08 training camp just to get MMs attention. The class organization, the GBP, had moved on from ol’-ruin-the-season-by-choking-in-the-playoffs after 2007. Because the GBP actually HAD a backup plan to Favre’s annual antics. His name was Aaron frigging Rodgers.

      The Vikings, on the other hand, have no backup plan to replace AP. They pay him more than any RB in today’s game is worth and they can’t replace him because he’s the only proven playmaker on their entire offensive unit.

      What a world of difference in the quality of clubs just 180 miles apart.

      1. PF4L March 4, 2015

        I thought they did fly out, maybe i’m wrong..idk.

        You are absolutely right about Favre’s annual retirement talk. Most people don’t remember, but this talk started after the Super Bowl win, and continued on to some degree, each year until his real retirement, unretirement.

        The man loves attention.

  5. PF4L March 4, 2015

    I’d be a bit careful calling the Peterson/Vikings saga a soap opera.

    I recall a Packer/Favre soap opera starting in 2008, and still continues to this day, in year 7.

  6. vijay March 4, 2015

    Beat that ass with a switch!

    1. Fritz March 5, 2015

      wow, Vijay are you still a “lady” or have you “farmed” out your handle to a real stud!