Jay Cutler is the Gift that Keeps on Giving!

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Jay Cutler gets sacked by Jarius Wynn

Jay Cutler gets sacked by Jarius Wynn

If someone had bought you Jay Cutler for Christmas back in 2009, it probably would have turned out to be the best Christmas gift you ever received.

And come to think of it, it kind of went down like that. The idiots that were running the Chicago Bears at that time said to themselves, “Hey, we just need a quarterback to put us over the top and Jay Cutler is that guy!”

So, prior to the 2009 season, they went and acquired Cutty! from the Denver Broncos and in the process gave us all a way early Christmas present that would bring us joy for years to come.

That joy will be extended through the 2015 season, it was reported on Tuesday.

It’s hard to contain the glee that is currently filling our spirits.

When the Bears brought in their latest coaching staff, led by retread John Fox, no one was ready to commit to the Cutster. For what reason, we cannot imagine.

Aside from Cutty!’s sheer brilliance as a signal caller and human being, what were the Bears going to do? Trot Jimmy Clausen out there?

Maybe he’ll recapture the super-okayness he once exhibited at Notre Dame, huh?

Clearly, the Bears have come to their senses. After all, we are sure THIS is their year! And who is better prepared to lead the Chicago Bears to the promised land than Chicago legend, Bear great, Jay Christopher Cutler?

Nobody!

Jay Cutler don't care

About The Author

Monty McMahon is one of the founders of Total Packers. He is probably the most famous graduate of UW-Oshkosh next to Jim Gantner.

11 Comments on "Jay Cutler is the Gift that Keeps on Giving!"

  1. billybong

    I’m in the very small minority that doesn’t think Cutty is all that terrible…he’s had some baaaad coaching and head cases for receivers, he’s still dangerous…elite??? Nah…

  2. Deepsky

    The Bears lost their coach, their GM, and are ditching their defense built with 4-3/cover 2 players to a 3-4 and they still have Cutler. I think we can count the Bears out, at least for this year.

    • Kato

      Dude. They got Phernel McGee or whatever his fucking name is. They are going to the Super Bowl! Just ask any bears fan. He is the second coming of LT! Not to mention they have Lamarr Houston coming back (off ACL surgery) and Willie Young (coming back from a late season Achilles tear). They one legit WR in Brandon Marshall, and a running back nearing the age of 30 with a lot of mileage (and had well over 350 touches last year). Oh, and Cutty! Whats the worst that could happen?

      • Phatgzus

        Brandon Marshall is now wasting away in the City That Never Sleeps, or more accurately, much worse: New Jersey.

  3. FITZCORE1252

    The most important aspect of this is duh bares dwindling lead in the head-to-head wins category. I believe, after the sweep this season, we will be all square… and those chicken fuckers will have nothing! Mwahahaha!!! After Rodgers is done, we shall have a sizeable lead in what once seemed to be an insurmountable deficit.

  4. Shawn Neuser

    I don’t know. I would be wary.
    When a team releases a statement like- We fully expect so and so to be our QB this season- that usually means they are actively shopping the guy as they tweet that.

  5. bears for the win

    We are stuck to him cause of his contract you idiots. Also we don’t plan on winning this year and if we do its a gift from god and or actually a good coach unlike trestnerd

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