Antrel Rolle is the Perfect Idiot for the Chicago Bears

Antrel Rolle

Antrel Rolle

If you’re like us, you were totally wowed when the Chicago Bears went out and signed 32-year-old safety Antrel Rolle.

You were like, “Holy hell, this is the move that totally is gonna put the Bears over the top! So, so impressive!”

And then you realized it’s not 2009 anymore and your excitement waned.

Well, this is bound to get you excited again. The idiot Chicago Bears have signed the idiot safety they’ve always deserved.

Rolle was on WFAN on Friday talking about signing with Chicago. Why did he sign with the Bears? Because he interpreted an Orbitz price alert as a sign from god.

I just asked God—it was Sunday night before I was going to sleep—I just asked him, “God, I pray that you just give me a level head. I pray that you just give me a sign to lead me in the right direction, and I’ll follow your lead.”

It was Monday morning at 4:33 a.m. I never wake up in the middle of the night, and it was 4:33 Monday morning, and I got an email to my phone. And the email said, “Orbitz alert: flights to Chicago, discount fare.” And I’m like, “wow,” you know what I mean?

Hey, discount fare to play for a discount organization.

That’s brilliant.

About The Author

Monty McMahon is one of the founders of Total Packers. He is probably the most famous graduate of UW-Oshkosh next to Jim Gantner.

43 Comments on "Antrel Rolle is the Perfect Idiot for the Chicago Bears"

  1. Andy

    I suppose if there was one team in the nfl that would make you pay for your own flights to a team visit it would be the bears. Hey can you bring your own pens and sandwiches too? Economic crisis and all that…

  2. Howard

    4:33 A.M is the middle of the night? So much for the bears having Rolle at any 7:00 A.M meetings. Good luck with this guy.

  3. Cheese

    Isn’t this the piece of shit who hit Driver in the face while he was sitting on top of him a few years ago?

  4. Phatgzus

    The Packers draw 1st-tier, HoF free agents to green Bay with signs from God; the Bears draw mediocre, never-was free agents to Chicago with signs from third-rate travel agencies. Sounds about right. MasterCard has a slogan for this scenario.

  5. bears for the win

    Hey for the person who said something about economic problems shut the hell up. Green Bay is one of the trashiest city’s in the country literally. It is basically a town with some farmers and industrial plants.

    • Savage57

      Shitcago – Delivering NFL Futility for 30 Years

      Go spend the weekend at Robert Taylor Homes and have your mom send us pictures of your body.

      • Fritz

        yeah. and while he is at it, before he can convince us he is an expert on “cities” he should at least learn how to spell the damn word: it is NOT spelled “city’s”

  6. Halas

    Discount organization? Heh. Thank your lucky stars the Bears and the great George Halas was around when someone got a wild hair to move the Packers franchise out of a no-name town like Green Bay. Sorry to have to bush out this reality check, patrons of a one-star team, but…

    Yeah, OK, the Bears have sucked lately. But as you celebrate your recent success thanks to your one hall-of-fame player, give thanks to Halas for the fact you even have a team to root for.

    • Kozak

      I thank Halas for leaving the team to his daughter so that she, and her son Idiot Mikey Mccaskey could be sure to fuck every Bears fan as owner and president.


    Organized religion is the Bain of the world. With all of the shit going on in the world, do you really believe God gives a shit about a fucking game? How egocentric . . . and vile? More murder, rape theft, disembowelment’s, beheadings, etc. etc. etc. have been done in the name of God! (by many different religions BTW) NOW THAT IS FUCKING VILE. Go seed some other site with your religious rant.

    • Shawn Neuser

      BANE of the world?
      Haha… humans never needed religion for an excuse to slaughter each other. It DOES give a reason to NOT to, however.
      Agree though, God does not give a shit about football.


        My “Bain” was a twisted way of presenting two (Bain Capital and organized religion) repugnant world entities together (fittingly so . . .) as part of the joke. Sorry that you missed it! Although, it was a tad esoteric. Individual spirituality and not big brother organized religion is a better path IMHO. Sheeple however, tend not to want to make their own paths though . . .

      • Fritz

        after the seattle game, i have to agree. and if Satan doesn’t give a shit about FB either, he at least had a hand in getting St. Vincent to turn over in his grave that gloomy day.

    • Kozak

      Uh more murders have been done by atheists in the last 100 years then by every religion in history.
      Ho Chi Minh
      Pol Pot
      etc,etc etc.


        Why only go back 100 years? Oh, I know! because, before that it was only Religion that perpetrated mass murder and genocide. That, shit for brains, is EMPIRICLE!!!! prove me wrong!

        As far as some of the names that you mentioned? Most were raised under severe religious parents that were nuts and oppressive. Sometimes creating these monsters. These animals did not kill in the name of atheism however! While religion KILLS IN THE NAME OF GOD! A side note, Doesn’t God tell everyone (no matter which mono theistic one you practice) to love one another? and be good to your neighbor(s). Only zealots and fundamentalists deviate from this to suit there agendas (BUT I FIGURED THAT YOU KNEW THIS???). Here is a short article that perhaps you should read to educate yourself before you hang your dick out too far right . . . True education is the best answer for zealotry. This buddy, is the 21st century, and you speak as someone from the 15th century. :(

        • Kozak

          Moron. I went back 100 years because those atheist bastards killed MORE PEOPLE IN ONE CENTURY then died in every war or conflict in the history of humanity going back 5000 years.
          Nothing like a vicious foaming at the mouth, wild eyed atheist to spew shit.

          • Rock49

            Christians were killed at the Coliseum. Christians are killed by ISIS and other religions. MMTTDCSUCKS is never going to understand that. He is not agnostic, he is an atheist that is pissed off at the whole world. He is a small man that wants to spread his hate online so that he gets some attention. It is a waste of time replying to his ignorant rants. He is a loser and doesn’t deserve the time or attention.


        You may want to look into our country to see just how close that we are getting to this BTW. lol! Religion is repugnant!

        This is not something that I am making up! I could care less, but you have been inculcated, me, not so much! Always question authority Kozak. And only speak when you really know what you are speaking about, if it involves real history and not the Packers!

        • Shawn Neuser

          Hitler was a nihilist. He planned on leveling all the churches in Europe once the war was over. The STATE was the only god worthy of worship to the Nazis. Anyone saying Hitler was a christian is ignorant of history or just trying to pass off propaganda on anyone stupid enough to not recognize real history from fake history.

          I refer you to legitimate German historian Gerhardt Weinberg who wrote on War World II and Hitler after gaining access to Germany’s war archives and Hitler’s private letters. Peace.

          • MMTTDCSUCK

            I said he was raised a Christian, did you read what I actually wrote??? I believe he was raised Catholic, as were most Germans. He was a pagan. Perhaps a Nihilist as well. I had many years of History in college. While Weinberg may be some peoples “expert” he is not the be all, end all. So all of the documentation out there that is published is drivel vs Weinberg’s POV? Bunk. I suppose if it does not fit your Christian agenda, it is null and void eh’ Shawn? Listen, I have NO STAKE in this, other than to open someone’s perspective more that is it. If Weinberg is a finite answer, then to that I say bullshit. Much abstract, and conjecture for just one answer. Peace

  8. Rock49

    MMTTDCSUCK will be praying on his dying day and asking for forgiveness for his stupidity. Once again another liberal pissed off at the world because he is a loser. Now he turns all his attention to football because he has nothing else in his life. What a waste.

    • Fritz

      your comments are not blocked, it is your browser, and i am replying to your latest comment, which is welcomed by all here, just as MMTTDCSUCK’s comments are welcomed by all here. and this is why:


      kind of a “love-hate” relationship amongst us all, don’t you agree?

      and if we keep it that way, we still remain friends and loyal fans in our great family on the internet called “packer nation” no?


    @ Rock49! I never said God was bad! Start reading the content, Spirituality is great, Large mega churches? not so good. Liberal? You obviously do not even know what the FUCKING word means . . .

  10. Rock49

    MMTTDCSUCK when did you become a spiritual expert? Your spiritually is great, but everyone else beliefs are wrong. You truly are stupid. Yes, liberal people talk about spirituality and zen. Moderates and conservatives talk about God. Please educate yourself.


    Stupid is a harsh word coming from someone who still pontificates about liberals being something bad. What part of liberal do you not understand? T


    Give me examples of spiritual people committing the atrocities that the “truly Religious” commit on a daily basis. What? cat got your tongue? . . . You were welcomed into the machine years ago. You are angry, but do not realize why! lol! Enjoy parsing your bible quotes when they serve your agendas! As far as me judging beliefs? Yeah asshole! you are correct. When all of you fools start containing YOUR JUDGMENTS, I’ll temper mine. In the mean time, keep “KILLING IN THE NAME OF” . . . Social Luddite.

  13. Rock49

    Liberals don’t even want to be called liberals. That is why they changed it to progressives. So many people were turned off by their agenda that they had to reinvent their name so they wouldn’t be linked to their past. As far as organized religion, you are truly the idiot that is angry. Religion doesn’t tell you to kill. Men kill because they are imperfect. Almost all religion preaches love and kindness. Your liberal views don’t allow you to understand this. You view the world that if one individual does something wrong they are all wrong. Most religious organizations do more charity than the government will ever do. Try to educate yourself and stop spreading your idiotic beliefs.

  14. Kozak


    Organized religion is the Bain of the world. With all of the shit going on in the world, do you really believe God gives a shit about a fucking game? How egocentric . . . and vile? More murder, rape theft, disembowelment’s, beheadings, etc. etc. etc. have been done in the name of God! (by many different religions BTW) NOW THAT IS FUCKING VILE. Go seed some other site with your religious rant.

    If you “had many years of history” in college, you should sue them for malpractice. And sue the English department while you are at it.


    OK, I’ll do that! BTW, I misspelled bane intentionally. I see that went over your head. I suppose you support the idea that the earth is 5000 years old as well. I know that my knowledge of history is strong. You? Religious history?

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