If you’re like us, you were totally wowed when the Chicago Bears went out and signed 32-year-old safety Antrel Rolle.
You were like, “Holy hell, this is the move that totally is gonna put the Bears over the top! So, so impressive!”
And then you realized it’s not 2009 anymore and your excitement waned.
Well, this is bound to get you excited again. The idiot Chicago Bears have signed the idiot safety they’ve always deserved.
Rolle was on WFAN on Friday talking about signing with Chicago. Why did he sign with the Bears? Because he interpreted an Orbitz price alert as a sign from god.
I just asked God—it was Sunday night before I was going to sleep—I just asked him, “God, I pray that you just give me a level head. I pray that you just give me a sign to lead me in the right direction, and I’ll follow your lead.”
It was Monday morning at 4:33 a.m. I never wake up in the middle of the night, and it was 4:33 Monday morning, and I got an email to my phone. And the email said, “Orbitz alert: flights to Chicago, discount fare.” And I’m like, “wow,” you know what I mean?
Hey, discount fare to play for a discount organization.